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Reviewer: Kyrin Greenleaf Signed [Report This]
Date: 21/04/07 - 11:12 pm Title: Chapter 1: Why??

Wow sis!! I havent read that in a while. Can you pleas write more?? This is starting to get way interesting.

Author's Response: Thank you!! I plan to add another chapter within the week.

Reviewer: Shadow Ranger Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/03/07 - 09:05 pm Title: Prologue

First. GAPS!!!
Paragraphing is a must, everytime a new person speaks, make a new line fore it.
male elfs should be male elf's
"Replied" instead of "sad back"
we'ev should be we've
3 looks better as three, in fact, any numbers except ages and times (11 o' clock) should be in full text form (if someone is speaking use, "he is thirty" rather than "he is 30"
"along" is two words.
In Legolas' "Please Wintir," line, drop either the first or second please.
Wintir's next line seems somewhat aimless, there needs to be something else there.
"minuets" should be "minutes.
"proundly" should, I think be "proudly"
"wierd" should be "weird"
Legola should have an s on the end.
finally, I don't understand the neccessity for two "END FLASHBACK"s
This story needs some work I'm afraid, however, it's an intruiging plotline, keep working at it.

Author's Response: Okay. Everything is fixed.(Hopefully) And Thank you.

Reviewer: pippinrocks Signed [Report This]
Date: 17/02/07 - 09:50 am Title: Prologue

keep going sounds goooood

Author's Response: I will and thank you for a most needed rveiw.

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