Arda Dreams by jules14
Summary: Has anybody had any dreams about Tolkien's world that were funny, scary, or just plain bizarre? I know I sure as Morgoth have! If you have, and you want to put them in this collection, send them to me in an email or a review.
Categories: Off Topic Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Bilbo, Billy Boyd, Boromir, Celebrían, Denethor, Dominic Monaghan, Eldarion, Elijah Wood, Elladan, Elrohir, Eowyn, Erestor, Faramir, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf / Olorin, Gilraen, Gimli, Gollum, Ian Mckellen, Legolas, Liv Tyler, Lúthien Tinúviel, Maedhros, Maeglin, Merry, Morgoth / Melkor, Orcs/Uruk-Hai, Other Canon Character, Peter Jackson, Pippin, Radagast, Sam, Saruman, Théoden, Viggo Mortensen, Will Turner
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 70 Completed: No Word count: 14771 Read: 168806 Published: May 27 2007 Updated: Sep 14 2013

1. Luthien with ADD by jules14

2. Gandalf's Unsung Deeds by jules14

3. Squirrely Keirrel by jules14

4. The Mary-Sue Mushroom by jules14

5. Just Like Old Times by jules14

6. Of Disney and New Balance Cinema by jules14

7. Roasting Elijah Wood by jules14

8. The Fury of a Time Lord by jules14

9. It's a Jolly Holiday with Morgoth by jules14

10. Denethor: Nuttier than Ever? by jules14

11. Danger in a Shopping Center, Orcs in a Parking Lot by jules14

12. In Which I'm a Mary-Sue Wannabe by jules14

13. Sleep Paralysis by jules14

14. A Wizards' Reunion, and Radagast Moves to China by jules14

15. Triple Crossover by jules14

16. John Noble by jules14

17. Bilbo in the Orchard by jules14

18. Meriadoc Brandybuck by jules14

19. Liv Tyler in a Car Commercial by jules14

20. The Steward's Janitor by jules14

21. Peter O'Toole: Live from Meduseld! by jules14

22. LotR TV Trailer by jules14

23. Lord of the Rings Meets Lord of the Dance by jules14

24. The Evenstar Pendant--On Sale by jules14

25. Dinner with Peter Jackson by jules14

26. Sick Hobbits, and Gollum's Game of Go-Fish by jules14

27. Gollum the Peeping Tom by jules14

28. Aragorn and Phil by jules14

29. Theoden in the Witness Box by jules14

30. Orcish Recyclables by jules14

31. The Eryn Lasgalen Society by jules14

32. Frodo and the Fortuneteller by jules14

33. Gimli's Wife? by jules14

34. The Worst Crossover Ever by jules14

35. Your Brain Off Drugs by jules14

36. The Crazy Origins of "An Elf's Love" by jules14

37. The Trouble with Palantiri by jules14

38. Hobbit Actors by jules14

39. LotR Convention Date by jules14

40. Aragorn, Get Your Gun by jules14

41. Eldarion and the Tower of Immunoglobin by jules14

42. Saving the World Through Stuffed Animals and Piracy by jules14

43. Galadriel the Pervert (rated R for sexual references) by jules14

44. Stay Green for Frodo by jules14

45. The Mouth of Sauron and a Lousy Jeep by jules14

46. It Could be Worse by jules14

47. Boromir Watches Faramir from Heaven by jules14

48. Elijah's Interview by jules14

49. Yet Another Goofy Crossover by jules14

50. The National Geographic LotR Special by jules14

51. The Explosion of the Argonath by jules14

52. The Man-Eating Clowns by jules14

53. Rootbeer Floats at Saruman's Diner by jules14

54. Nazgul at McDonald's by jules14

55. A Fanfic Author's Worst Nightmare by jules14

56. Arwen's Lessons in Sexism by jules14

57. Don't Drink and Drive with Legolas by jules14

58. Gilraen's Pelennor Memorial by jules14

59. Frodo and Sam Go Mushroom Picking by jules14

60. Frodo Punches the Pirate-Sue by jules14

61. The Hobbits Go to a Gift Shop by jules14

62. Aragorn and Friends at the Sheraton by jules14

63. Denethor's Tantrum by jules14

64. The Shocking Truth about the Lord of the Rings Movies by jules14

65. A Fearsome Weapon by jules14

66. Gimli and the Alien Invasion by jules14

67. Legolas's Long-Lost Twin by jules14

68. Peter Jackson, Dark Lord by jules14

69. Andy Serkis and Gollum by jules14

70. Time Travel by jules14

Luthien with ADD by jules14
Disclaimer: Nothing Tolkien originally created belongs to me.

This is a dream I must have had right after reading Tolkien's 1917 version of "The Tale of Tinuviel". I'd been thinking about Tinuviel's stay in the beech tree in that version of the story, and how, unlike in the "Silmarillion" version, it took a dream sent by the Valar to actually get her back on her way to saving Beren. I was pondering how the early Tinuviel seemed less dedicated and more easily distracted than the later one.

Well, in this dream, I was reading the same version of the story, but it was extremely different. In the dream version, Luthien, apparently, was even more distractible; she had ADD or something. The dream ended before she finally got to Tevildo's castle, because she took so many detours that her journey took forever. In the one I remember, Luthien was hurrying on her way again, when suddenly, a herd of rainbow unicorns galloped past her. Immediately, she cried, "Hey, look! Rainbow unicorns!" and turned right around and ran after them. The dream ended there, so I never got to learn about Luthien's adventures—if she had any—with the unicorns.
Gandalf's Unsung Deeds by jules14
Disclaimer: See previous chapter

I was reading a story Tolkien had written about Gandalf's deeds before the Fellowship of the Ring. In one instance, Gandalf had to travel to a swamp somewhere to get the Ring of Power back from a tiger named Squeezer, who was an important ally of Sauron. He was standing in the long grass facing this gigantic orange tiger, and they were both tossing insults back and forth at each other, a la the Mouth of Sauron and the heroes in "The Return of the King". Well, finally Gandalf got the Ring, and somehow he was able to slip it on his finger without it affecting him, though he'd used a lot of power to get it, so he was extremely tired. Then he took it away from the swamp; he was going to give the Ring to Frodo, so the hobbit could destroy it.

In another adventure, Gandalf was swimming under the sea—I didn't find it strange that he could breathe underwater; I guess I thought it came with being a Maia. Anyway, he finally came to a golden-haired woman trapped in a net of seaweed. At first I thought that it was Galadriel, but it wasn't. It turned out to be a Maia named Lalaithdil, whom Gandalf had been in love with before he came to Arda. He and Lalaithdil greeted each other with joy. I shall write what happened next in the exact words Tolkien had used in the dream:

"Then Mithrandir lay beside her in love, and after a long night, he had exhausted even more of his power than he had used in fighting the tiger."

I think it was that sentence that made me realize that something was fishy; Tolkien couldn't have written anything like that.
Squirrely Keirrel by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

In this dream, I was looking for bad fanfiction to MST. Unlike in real life, Boromir was real, and he was my co-writer for the MSTs. He and I were talking together online, trying to find an awful enough fic to rip apart, when I came across an obvious troll. The Mary-Sue's name was about two lines long; the only part I remember of it was her first name, "Keirrel". I also remember the description of her color-changing eyes and her "ankle-length, ebony-raven hair". In the fic, Gandalf was bringing her back to Middle-Earth so she could "fulfill her destiny". Finally, she had a pet squirrel named Squirrelicious Ecureuil Nutpicker.

I could tell immediately that it was a troll, but nobody else could. All the reviews ripped the story apart, but not one accused the author of trolling. And Boromir wanted to MST it; the dream ended with me trying to convince him that it was a troll and therefore too easy to MST.
The Mary-Sue Mushroom by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Dreamer: Araiona DuBois
Told in the first person

In this dream, I was a PPC agent sent to Middle-earth with seven other agents to fight this gigantic mushroom. A Sue author created it to stop the PPC from killing Sues. We got to the mushroom but it seeped out this gross liquid and trapped us inside of it. We must have been inside the mushroom for over a week.

Then I was rescued by Morgoth. He cleaned me up and whisked me away to Angband where we fell in love and lived happily for many years.

One day, Morgoth went away to see what Sauron was doing. I stayed home and caught up on the laundry and dishes. There was a knock at the door and the PPC agents that I had been trapped in the mushroom with entered. I was overjoyed to see them but apparently they weren't overjoyed to see me. They started to rattle off this really long name...I think it was Derolimintiorlanlyiasyuia... (I'm sure I'm missing a few letters) and they started to charge me with being a Mary-Sue. I kept proclaiming my innocence and I insisted I was not this 'Dero' person but, in fact, Araiona DuBois of the PPC. The head agent did not listen to me and she pulled out her bow and shot me in the chest. But instead of blood, this green ooze came out of my chest and everything went blurry.

In the dream, I woke up in a PPC ambulance with my fellow agents. We were covered in this green slime. I asked how long we had been in the mushroom and the ambulance worker replied 'many, many, years.'

That's when I woke up, for real, and went ' totally the X-Files episode I watched yesterday!' It was a pretty cool dream! (Except for being a Mary-Sue due to mushroom influence!)

Thanks, Araiona! You're the best! Remember, submit your dreams!
Just Like Old Times by jules14
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

I had to destroy an evil ring, just like Frodo. I don't remember if it was Sauron's Ring of Power, but if it wasn't, it was supposed to be just like it. My whole family, even distant relatives; some family friends; and these kids I haven't even seen since middle school were helping me figure out how to destroy this ring. We were all meeting in my high school cafeteria to talk about it, and since these middle-school kids all used to be my friends, I kept saying, over and over, "Great! It's just like old times!"

For some strange reason, Gollum was at the meeting, and so was Dobby the house-elf from "Harry Potter." I don't know how they were helping us, but I remember thinking how much like Jar Jar Binks they were. I woke up before I even set out to destroy the ring.
Of Disney and New Balance Cinema by jules14
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

In this one, Disney was making Lord of the Rings their next animated feature film, inspired by the success of the live-action version. I was hoping it would be better than Bakshi's animated version. I was watching the previews for the Disney one on TV. As it turned out, the animation was horrible, as if it had been drawn by a bad artist: Frodo's nose was too pointy and turned-up, for example. Also the characters were all animals, like they were in Disney's Robin Hood. Even Frodo, who looked like a human in one scene at the beginning, was played by an animal in the rest of it. Sam was played by Bambi the deer, and Gandalf was played by a rabbit.

The preview was a long one; it seemed that they were showing almost the whole movie. I thought, well, I guess it's not going to be better than the other animated version. I hope New Balance Cinema sues Disney for copying them. I was so tired the next morning that it took me several hours to figure out that it was New LINE Cinema, and that the shoe company had nothing to do with Lord of the Rings.
Roasting Elijah Wood by jules14
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

My family and I invited the Fellowship of the Ring to a party in my parents' backyard. In one instance, Sam and I were standing by one of the tables talking about Peter Jackson's films, and Sam brought up Elijah Wood's Frodo. He said something like, "Boy, Frodo was a pathetic coward throughout that whole film."

As he and I started cracking jokes about Wood and the way he played Frodo, Frodo himself, who was standing nearby, got huffy and stormed off to a far corner of the yard. Frodo did not look like Elijah Wood in the dream; he had dark curly hair, but he looked much older, and his eyebrows were heavier.

Well, in the end, we patched things up with Frodo, who finally realized what was so humorous about Wood's portrayal of him. By the end of the dream, Sam, Frodo, and I were sitting on a brick wall, drinking ale and laughing over Elijah Wood's performance.
The Fury of a Time Lord by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Dreamer: Araiona DuBois
Told in the first person

I was working at Auntie Anne's Pretzel Place one not-so-busy afternoon when I thought I heard a strange whooshing noise. I brushed it off as the ovens and continued my work. Well, about ten minutes later, I saw the Fellowship running at a dead sprint past me. It sounded like they were screaming something like 'Run faster!'

As soon as they had passed, I saw three more people running after them. With one look, I recognized them as The Doctor, Martha, and Jack from Doctor Who. The Doctor seemed to be yelling something like, 'Get back here! You're not in the right time! Gotta get you back to Middle-earth! Blimey, you lot can run fast!'

I exchanged looks with my fellow employees before darting from the store and following the three Doctor Who characters. When I had caught up with them I told them, 'There are secret passages throughout the entire mall. If you use one, you may get ahead of them. I can show you, if you like.' The Doctor nodded and replied, 'Show me.'

So, taking a quick turn we took off in one of the secret hallways. When we exited the hallway, the Fellowship was standing 10 feet away. I think that they thought that they lost us.

Aragorn then turned and spotted us and the Fellowship took off again with us in close pursuit. The Doctor yelled, 'Look! We're not here to hurt you! We're here to send you back to your proper home! Now stop running or you'll feel the fury of a Time Lord!'

Now I don't know if that threat frightened them, or if half of the Fellowship became tired of all the running, but they did stop.

Once we caught up to them, and caught out breath, The Doctor explained to the Fellowship what had happened. He told them that there had been an emergency temporal shift caused by a Dalek that had sent them here somehow. He then told them that if they would just follow him back to his ship, he would take them home. The Fellowship agreed and we all walked back through the mall. Along the way I started talking with Jack. He said to me, 'Captain Jack Harkness, and who might you be?' I told him my name and then the Doctor rolled his eyes and said 'Oh, don't start!'

Jack replied, 'What?' and I stifled a laugh.

We reached the Doctor's ship, The TARDIS, and the Fellowship characters went in followed by Martha and Jack. The Doctor thanked me for my help and asked if I wanted to go with them, in payment for how I helped. I automatically said yes and then I went inside the TARDIS, had a cup of tea, and talked with the members of the Fellowship.
When we reached Middle-earth, the Doctor helped the Fellowship figure out where in Middle-earth they were before the temporal shift and once everything was settled the Doctor exclaimed, 'So, where to now? Oh I know! Barcelona!'

Thanks again, Araiona!
It's a Jolly Holiday with Morgoth by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

In this dream, I received a very strange review on one of my Lord of the Rings stories, which was set in modern day. According to the reviewer, Tolkien's version of Arda no longer exists, and this is why:

After Morgoth got out of the Void for the Dagor Dagorath (which, inexplicably, was supposed to take place right after "The Lord of the Rings"), he celebrated—and I quote—"the Holiday of Morgoth" by molesting the elf Erestor's mother. When Erestor found out what Morgoth had done, he screamed so loudly that "the Earth echoed with his cry," and it was so loud it caused an earthquake, which buried Tolkien's version of Arda.

The reviewer said that therefore, Tolkien's version of Arda was now buried underground. In the dream, I was distraught that I'd gotten something from Tolkien's writing so wrong in my story. It was only after I woke up that I realized how ridiculous the whole thing was and laughed over it. For one thing, how would you celebrate the Holiday of Morgoth?
Denethor: Nuttier than Ever? by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

I rode with Gandalf and Pippin to Minas Tirith, to meet Denethor and warn him about the danger. All the way there, I was pretty worked up, trying to picture what he would be like. I rather thought that he would be the wise and dignified, yet pompous figure he was in the book; still, I thought that PJ's portrayal of him might have caused some damage.

Well, we got to Minas Tirith—and Denethor went WELL beyond the film portrayal. For one thing, he was much older; his hair was longer and grayer and he had to walk with a cane. For another thing, when he talked, he sounded exactly like Grampa Simpson. Finally, his behavior was outrageous. He blundered through the Tower of Ecthelion with his cane, yelling and interrupting any important meetings being held. He also made up a whole lot of peculiar nicknames for everybody; he called Pippin "midge"—I guess it was short for "midget"—and he called EVERYONE—including Gandalf, Faramir, and me—whippersnappers. I remember that when he was meeting with Faramir about trying to retake Osgiliath, he whacked his son across the knees with his cane, yelling, "Get out there and obey me, you little whippersnapper!"

Oddly enough, in the dream, I didn't find any of this funny. In fact, I felt horrified, because I thought that Peter Jackson, in portraying Denethor as a complete nutcase, magically turned the real Denethor into a nutcase as well.

Luckily, there wasn't any applause when he died. At the burial, Merry, Pippin, and I were staring into his coffin—strangely, he was not burnt—and Merry turned to Pippin and said, "Well, I don't know. I mean, I know he was one of the wisest Men and dignified and loved his city and all—but he called you such awful names!"
Danger in a Shopping Center, Orcs in a Parking Lot by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

In this, a local children's theater was putting on a play version of The Lord of the Rings. I was worried that the thing would be corny and embarrassing: for one thing, Frodo was played by a woman. All of a sudden, though, I turned into Frodo. I was still female, but I was doing everything Frodo did in "The Fellowship of the Ring". I remember letting Gandalf into Bag End (which, oddly enough, looked like the veterinary clinic where I work), and thinking about Bilbo's birthday party.

One thing was extremely different, though: Glorfindel came in with Gandalf—and Glorfindel was FEMALE in my dream. Apparently, he—or she—was engaged to be married to Gandalf.

Anyway, Gandalf and Glorfindel, after explaining the matter of the Ring to my brother and me, took us for a walk down to a local shopping center for some reason. It was a dark, snowy night, and the shopping center was crowded with druggies and drunks and criminals of all kinds (don't ask me how I knew this). But as soon as we stopped outside a Starbuck's, Gandalf told Glorfindel and me to walk quickly back home, because there was danger coming. We did so. I have no idea why Gandalf wanted to keep my brother with him.

In the same dream, or a different related dream, I was back with Gandalf, Glorfindel, and my brother, and we were being chased through a parking lot by an army of orcs. Gandalf and Glorfindel hung back to fight the orcs, but since my brother and I didn't know how to fight, we had to keep on running. Finally, we both reached my car, feeling exhausted and pained from all the running. Instead of simply feeling relieved that we were safe, I thought that I should have learned sword fighting, because it would have been less exhausting than having to run away from the orcs.
In Which I'm a Mary-Sue Wannabe by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

In this, both I and a disgusting Mary Sue were in Arda. We were both in Rivendell, and while the Mary Sue (I think it was Rosa from “An Elf’s Love,” but I’m not sure) was meeting the members of the Fellowship, and being fawned over by everyone, I hardly knew anyone there; I was too shy to speak to them.

Everyone was gathered in the Hall of Fire, and Mary Sue sang “May it Be” by Enya. Naturally, everyone loved it, cheering and applauding, and all the natives of Arda came up to her to hug and congratulate her. It was very nauseating. Even Gimli, who’s usually portrayed as stupid and ugly in Sue fics, gave her a pet tarantula as a present, and Mary Sue named it Fluffy and started carrying it around in a cage.

I wasn’t in the Hall of Fire, though. I was locked in a garage just outside it (never mind that there are no garages in Arda), and I was listening and watching through a peephole. Instead of feeling horrified or angry about the Sue, I wished I could be as outgoing and lovable as her.

Just then, Aragorn and Boromir came into the garage. They greeted me kindly and asked me how I was doing. So, encouraged, I tried singing “May it Be” for them. My voice sounded pretty bad, but I wasn’t self-conscious, because I knew that Aragorn and Boromir would be polite and smile and clap at least a little. Anyway, at least I wasn’t singing for a group of elves. The dream ended before I finished the song, though.
Sleep Paralysis by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Dreamer: xFanarix
Told in the first person

I suffer sleep paralysis, so I nap in the afternoon, which is often, and if I stop fighting it and drop back into a doze (never a deep sleep), the characters I write of come and talk to me. I can see the bedroom, even the clock and the time, and hear external noises, but the characters are right there.

They discuss the stories and some of them, Vanimórë especially, always sound quite amused by me. It's as if I am not up to par, but they're making the best of it. They are the most vivid dreams imaginable, and the characters, from canon to O/C, are just as real as if my partner had walked in to talk to me.

It's when Vanimórë says to me words to the effect that: '' But YOU are the dream which we dream, did you not know? '' I think '' Arg. ''

This is, of course, a combination of complete Tolkien obsession and the sleep paralysis which I have had since being on a course of anti-depressants yeas ago. However, it's a fairly good side effect ,(lol) and I quite like it, until I get told that I'M the dream, and I think ''Ok-ay: time to wake up, missus! :-). Too much of that and I'll be back for more mad pills!"

It would be rather good if they were ''hot'' dreams, but no, I get discussions or my leg pulled, typical!

Thanks, xFanarix!
A Wizards' Reunion, and Radagast Moves to China by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

In this dream, in the extended edition of "The Fellowship of the Ring," there was apparently a scene added on to the scene in Orthanc, where Saruman, Gandalf, and Radagast all meet and talk over old times together. The three wizards hugged each other, laughed, drank ale and smoked pipeweed, and reminisced about the good ol' days in Aman. Oddly enough, much of what the Istari discussed was what they'd done in their childhoods (never mind that in real life, they never had any childhoods). They kept laughing over tricks they played on their fourth-grade teacher and other peculiar events. Moreover, neither Gandalf nor Saruman looked the way they do in the films: Saruman actually looked like Gandalf, while Gandalf looked a lot like Hagrid from "Harry Potter" (except not as tall). Strangest of all, Radagast looked a great deal like Gandhi.

I learned later in the dream, after the weird Orthanc scene was finished, that Radagast, unlike Gandalf, didn't go back to the Undying Lands after the war against Sauron was done. Instead, he moved to China, where, according to my dream, he still lives today, apparently trying to educate everybody he meets about protecting the environment.

Triple Crossover by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Dreamer: Anonymous
Told in the first person

A few nights ago, I got this weird dream about my best friend and me watching "Eragon," only we got fed up with it, so we walked around the screen and started changing the story. Everyone got really mad, except for the dragons and a little girl who would not leave my best friend's side. Anyway, the theater shut down and the people we were acting with froze like they were out of the wax house. Kinda creepy. But then the dragons dragged us to Middle-earth, and we met Naruto and Kabuto. But after we got to Middle-earth, Kabuto jumped out and knocked me down. My friend got mad at him, and Kabuto smiled and became entranced by his hair and how short it was. So while he was warding him off, Orochimaru came over and guided me to the council table. Elrond tried to talk first, but Orochimaru told him to sit down and let him do all the mind work. They got into a screaming match and start slapping each other. I got bored and sat down, only to land on Gimli. He said something along the lines of, "Good God, get this heifer off me!"

I got off and slapped him, and Kakashi walked over and started teaching Gimli the proper way to woo a woman, almost in a Jack Sparrow manner. I got pissed and started calling him a "bastard son of a wannabe ninja". He pulled out the yo-mama's, and Gimli joined in. Soon we were well engaged when the Hobbits came up and asked me where babies came from.

Meanwhile, Legolas and Kabuto were grooming my best friend, who now had Daisy braids all over his head. Legolas put a crown on him, and "Once Upon a Dream" started playing. Then his "Hairdressers" started dancing. He escaped and the Hobbit gathered around him and asked the same question. And he started telling them The Wizard of Oz story. Then I woke up and was really dazed for a while. See? That has to be the weirdest dream ever!!! I will never mix Naruto, Eragon and Lord of the Rings ever!!!!!

End Notes:
Remember to give me your penname when you submit your dreams.
John Noble by jules14
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Dreamer: Karlmir Stonewain
Told in the first person

I was walking through one of the Minas Tirith set: a small courtyard paved with large grey flagstones. I hadn't the slightest idea of what I was doing there, but I started to walk across the courtyard toward a wide set of grey stone stairs. Nondescript movie technicians were going about their business, but no one paid any attention to me. To one side was a row of folding chairs. John Noble, wearing his Denethor costume, sat by himself, eating a sandwich and drinking coffee from a thermos. As I walked past him, he gave me a rather sour look, much the way his character regarded Pippin after Faramir rode off to certain death. Puzzled over his reaction, I reached the stairway and woke up. I would rather have had a dream about Arwen (see my story), but there you have it.

Bilbo in the Orchard by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Bill the Farmer
Told in the first person.
I’m picking apples in the north orchard. Bilbo is there helping me. He’s on a ladder on the next tree. I’m using an apple picker, but Bilbo’s too short and small to wield the long pole. We’re not having a conversation while we work, although we’re exchanging occasional friendly smiles. Somehow, he’s filling his basket as fast as I’m filling mine.
Meriadoc Brandybuck by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Grace P.
Told in the first person

Actually, I’ve seen only the first film in the series. I had this dream about two years after seeing The Golden Ring (The Fellowship of the Ring): A kid was crying in the backyard, so I went out the kitchen door to investigate. I was surprised to find Merry sitting at the kids’ picnic table crying loudly. My two boys were on the swing set, paying Merry no attention, but the girls were standing about ten feet away, staring at him strangely. He told me that he was crying because some bigger kids up the street had stolen his shoes. I thought that a glass of milk and some cookies would cheer him up, but I woke up as I turned toward the house.
End Notes:
Karlmir: Did you know that Hobbits seldom wear shoes, if at all?

Grace: (Giggles) I never read the books, so I wouldn’t know about that.
Liv Tyler in a Car Commercial by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Roy A.
Told in the first person

Yeah, I had a dream like that once. I saw Liv Tyler on TV, driving a sports car along a scenic country road. She kept flashing smiles at the camera. She was also doing the voice over for the commercial, saying what great mileage and handling the car had. She was wearing regular clothes, but she also had on that thin Elf crown (tressure) from the movie. I’ll be darn if I can remember what the make and model of the car was.
The Steward's Janitor by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: OpusAndBill71
Told in the first person

I saw those movies about a dozen times each (chuckles crazily and slaps knee). I should have had more than a few of these to tell about, but only one comes to mind: I was in the big throne room from the movie, polishing the floor with an electric buffing machine. Denethor and Gimli were smoking their pipes and sitting side-by-side on the black marble steps leading up to the throne. They were muttering in low voices and occasionally pointing at me with their pipe stems, although I couldn’t hear what they were saying over the sounds of the buffer.
End Notes:
Karlmir Stonewain's note: This guy really works as a janitor in a big office building.
Peter O'Toole: Live from Meduseld! by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: English4540
Told in the first person

It’s really weird, but most of my dreams are. I dreamt that I was attending a feast at King Théoden’s hall. I was seated at one of two long tables that had been set up on either side of the central fire pit. Peter O’Toole was dressed up like a Medieval minstrel and pranced around the fire pit singing and playing a lute. He looked about two decades younger than he is now. I was sitting with a bunch of nondescript Rohirrim. Théoden was sitting at the opposite table, flanked by Aragorn, Gimli, Faramir, Eowyn and Samwise. It must have been after Frodo left Middle Earth, because he wasn’t there. The funny thing is that Théoden was being played by Derek Jacobi instead of Bernard Hill.
LotR TV Trailer by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Ronny
Told in the first person

I never saw the movies, but I must have seen the trailers for them a hundred times on The Sci-Fi Channel. I dreamt of one in which the background music was the same as that used in the first battle scene of Gladiator. You know, the one where they (Romans) fight the Germans.
Lord of the Rings Meets Lord of the Dance by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Annie D.
Told in the first person

I dreamed of that mountain scene where the Fellowship is hiking up a snowy slope. Boromir was Michael Flatly instead of Sean Bean. That was okay, though. I like Michael Flatly, but I haven’t the foggiest who Sean Bean is.
The Evenstar Pendant--On Sale by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Carol C.
Told in the first person

I was shopping at Target and looking over the stuff at the jewelry counter. Inside one of the display cases was a reproduction of the Elven pendant that Arwen gave to Aragorn. It was marked down, but I didn’t notice what the price was. I have a weakness for [stuff] like that. In real life, I wouldn’t have passed up a deal like that.
Dinner with Peter Jackson by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Anonymous
Told in the first person

Ever since I was a kid I’ve had dreams about meeting celebrities in public places, at least nine or ten a year. About four years ago I had one in which I saw Peter Jackson at a local restaurant. My brother and I were having dinner in the booth across the aisle from his. Jackson was having club sandwiches, potato chips and a glass of root beer. I knew it was a dream and didn’t try talking to him.
End Notes:
I'd like to thank Karlmir Stonewain for sending me the dreams his friends have had. Feel free to send me more.
Sick Hobbits, and Gollum's Game of Go-Fish by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See the first chapter

Dreamer: Twisted Ingenue
Told in the first person

I had this really weird dream where my little sister and I were on this "adventure" which consisted of sleeping on the side of the highway, sticking out our thumbs to hitchhike, and cursing (dream curse-words of course, one being "Keebler Elf") at the cars that just zoomed by us.

Oddly enough, both of us over "time" (dream time is weird) started donning hobbitish suspenders and green cloaks with the leaves of Lorien brooches holding them together. My feet were also getting itchy from hobbit hair. Somehow, my sister and I had morphed into Sam and Frodo. I being Frodo and my sister being Sam. And yet, it didn't seem like it was that big of a deal. We were just like "Oh well!"
The I started to feel fluish symptoms and my sister/Sam was really concerned. She/he was like "It's the ring, isn't it, Mr. Frodo?" And I'm all like "Yep...*cough* *sneeze* sure is!"

When I started to get feverish chills, a neon blue, Chevy Silverado (I'm a car obsessed I THINK that's what is was) pulled up. It was Faramir wearing sunglasses. He looked a lot like David Wenham except he had his hair in a ponytail.

For some strange reason, my sister/Sam just hopped into the car next to Faramir and she/he was like "Ha! I got shotgun"

But for some reason I was scared and I started running away...but then I stopped because I didn't want my sister/beloved friend to be in a car alone with the shady-looking Faramir, so crawled into the backseat. The only thing I remember was me saying "Nice leather interior," and Faramir replied with something along the lines of "'s the finest Gondorian leather."

Then, Sam (my sister and I were completely the characters) and I were brought to Henneth Annûn which resembled the spa from the Grove Park Inn. I was still feeling really sick to my stomach and dizzy, though.
I was about to go vomit in one of the pools under a waterfall (Sam had disappeared) when Faramir came behind me again and was all like,
"We have your friend down there,"

All of the sudden we were in this Colosseum/stadium kind of thing that featured a rock pool at the bottom. I looked down to see a furrier (kind of Hello Kitty-like) Gollum on a rock playing "go-fish" with his evil self. I soon got really scared and started shaking and whimpering something like, "Faramir...please...don't...anything..."

Then this strange sqaud of people who look like the faceless Civil War guys from a museum exhibit started popping up everywhere with bayonet guns and aiming them at Gollum.
For some reason, I was like, "Okay" and I ran down the steps,,,everyone began to evaporate, except for Gollumn who looked pissed and began hissing at me. Then, he dissipted and I was left alone on a rock and I bent over, crying in distress from the "decision" I had made.

That's when I woke up with a nasty headache and I stumbled over to the bathroom to start "worshipping the porcelain god". Yes...I was pretty ill when I dreamt that.
Gollum the Peeping Tom by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Dreamer: Vickie U.
Told in the first person

About two weeks after I saw The Two Towers I dreamt that Gollum was standing
on the roof of the back porch and staring into my bedroom window. He made nasty faces at me and scratched at the windowsill. I thought he might be trying to get in, so I went downstairs and made sure the doors were locked. Then he was looking in through the mail slot and trying to get his hand inside to reach the lock. It [the mail slot] was too small, though. I yelled that my dad would call the police if he didn't go away. Then Mom woke me up and said I was yelling in my sleep. Mom and Dad wouldn't let me go see The Return of the King later and I had to wait for it to be on TV. It wasn't so scary then.
End Notes:
Karlmir Stonewain's note: Vickie was only 9 years old when she saw The Two Towers.
Aragorn and Phil by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Dreamer: Cucumbers1717
Told in the first person

I was shoveling snow from my driveway. When I looked up, I saw Aragorn and my neighbor Phil leaning against my car chatting. Aragorn looked just as grungy as he did in the movies. I said to myself, "I don't care if this is really a dream. I'm going to shake hands with Viggo Mortensen." I turned to stick the snow shovel in a pile of snow next to the driveway and that was a mistake. It made me wake up and miss my chance.
Theoden in the Witness Box by jules14

Dreamer: Cucumbers1717
Told in the first person

In this one, I was watching an old rerun of Perry Mason on TV. Mr. Mason
called a "Mr. Riddle" to the stand. It was none other than Bernard Hill
dressed up as Théoden. Nobody in the courtroom made any comment on the way
he was dressed. The whole scene was in black and white. I didn't get to see
what happened after that, because the dream changed into a different scene.
Orcish Recyclables by jules14

Dreamer: Marty O.
Told in the first person

I was taking my trash to the local dump. When I went to the metal recycling bin I spotted a bunch of Orc stuff--rusty swords, funny-looking shields and armor. Stuff like that could be worth something to collectors, so I got a
ladder from my truck and tried to reach into the dumpster. But I fell off the ladder and the dream ended.
The Eryn Lasgalen Society by jules14

Dreamer: Karlmir Stonewain
Told in the first person

I had a brief dream about going through my mail and coming across a thick envelope from The Eryn Lasgalen Society. I didn't notice what the return address was. I woke up before I could open it. The next day, just out of curiosity, I did a Google search to find out if there really was a LotR fan club by that name. There wasn't. Weird!
Frodo and the Fortuneteller by jules14
This dream must have taken place at the beginning of Frodo's journey. He met a gypsy fortuneteller who offered to tell him his future. When he refused, she offered to turn him into Aragorn instead, and send him forward in time. Frodo accepted, and after he was transformed, the gypsy sent him forward in time to Amon Hen.

It was just after Boromir had tried to take the Ring from Frodo, and Boromir was sobbing on the ground. Well, Frodo—now Aragorn—immediately went over to Boromir and raped him, like in those awful fanfics I've read. It was a horrifying scene, and afterwards, Frodo-Aragorn was horrified by what he'd done. He decided to go back in time and get the fortuneteller to change him back to his normal form.

As he traveled back in time, all the normal scenes from Lord of the Rings were changed, and the new scenes belonged in awful, cliched fanfics. For example, Aragorn and Arwen were having sex in the garden of Rivendell, and Legolas was teaching a Mary Sue how to shoot arrows. Apparently, by being turned into Aragorn, Frodo had changed history so that it resembled bad fanfiction. As he went back in time, he got angrier and angrier, and resolved to make things normal again.

Finally, he met the gypsy fortuneteller and demanded that he be changed back to his normal form, as he was so unhappy with the way events had occurred. The fortuneteller said something like, "Well, what did you expect? If you change one aspect of history, you change everything else about history too."

This made Frodo even angrier, and he shouted at her, in a strange hick accent, "Well, if ya don't change me back an' fix stuff right now, I'll whale the hide off ya!"

Whether this threat worked or not I never knew, because the dream ended there.
Gimli's Wife? by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Freya Baron
Told in the first person

I think it was at the Council of Elrond, but I was there too. Then Elrond started hitting on me . . . I can't remember what he was saying, but Gimli saved me by saying something like, "Ah, Elrond, I don't beleive you've met my wife." That's not what he actually said, but you get the gist of it. I played along with it, and I think Elrond was embarrassed. I was about to thank Gimli, later, when I woke up . . . or I think that's what happened, anyway!
The Worst Crossover Ever by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
I was surfing the internet when I came across a sporked fanfic that was a crossover between--wait for it--"The Lord of the Rings," "Harry Potter," and "Hairspray". People online described it as a veritable canon-raping horror, so, of course, I decided to check it out.

The author had the story posted on a web site that was basically a paean to herself--crammed with photos and videos of her, poetry she'd written, etc. The fic featured nothing but LOTR characters, then Harry Potter characters, then Hairspray characters, all performing the same songs from the musical. I don't remember what the Harry Potter ones were like, but the Tolkien ones horrified me.

For example, the song "The Nicest Kids in Town" was changed to "The Nicest Kids on Deck" and featured Gandalf, Frodo, and the other characters on the last ship to Valinor singing and dancing, '60s-style, plus Aragorn suddenly appearing like the teenage heartthrob in the musical, to excited screams of teenage girls. The song "Welcome to the 60s" was changed to "Black Forest Full of Pandas". I have no idea what characters were singing and dancing to this song, but in the dream, I thought the author was talking about Mirkwood.

The bratty young author didn't seem fazed by the negative rep she was getting. In fact, she begged for reviews on each chapter of her story, and had even posted videos of her band performing the different versions of these songs. I didn't watch the videos.

Yes, the crossover was a canon-raping horror, but it was a mighty funny one. Therefore, if anyone finds a "Lord of the Rings" and "Hairspray" crossover, send it to me. I'm anxious to read and probably MST it.
Your Brain Off Drugs by jules14
Dreamer: xFanarix
Told in the first person

Mine are not so much dreams in deep sleep, but hypnopompic hallucinations combined with sleep paralysis. If any-one has ever had that, they will know it's not pleasant. Your body is still '' paralyzed '' although your mind is awake, and you can't move. The hallucinations seem to occur as you are just about to wake up [ hypnogogic ones are when you are going to sleep ]. They say that a lot of '' ghost at the foot of the bed '' sightings are hypnopomic hallucinations, and they can seem as real as waking life; after a while though, you do know they are not real, but they still are sometimes horrible.

Just a '' for instance '' I was in that state napping downstairs, I could see the clock on the wall and hear outside noises but there was a spider the size of a cat clinging under my b/f's computer chair and moving and I knew it was going to leap on me any moment. The surroundings were perfectly normal apart from that .

Anyway, I used to be on anti depressants and was very ill on them, so I decided to come off them, and came off far too quickly, and that was when I started getting severe sleep paralysis and the hallucinations.

When I started really writing the the series on here just finished, I was napping, and woke up, knowing I was paralyzed, saw the wall, the pc, etc, heard voices outside, my b/f playing one of his games downstairs, but it was a no-go, my body was still asleep. If I try really hard I can wake myself up, if I don't I will hallucinate and this one time, I felt so unable to move that I did not try very hard. Nothing was happening anyway, and there were no giant bugs or axe murderers in the room - always a good thing.

And then my OC Muse just walked in and leaned against the wall next to the window and started talking to me. He was so real that he looked more substantial than the room and I thought; '' So that's what you really look like then. '' And ; '' Well, that's better than a giant spider. '' Six foot four of black leather and arrogant as Lucifer.

He talked to me about my story for a while and walked out. This does not happen on a regular basis, and he does not ever tell me anything helpful - it's not like Coleridge waking up and writing Kublai Khan - more just gives me riddles, and tells me I have to do the writing, not him. But I get flash glimpses of '' scenes '', like a clip from a film, and write around them, a bit like travelling through a dark tunnel and going under regularly spaced lights, the dark parts I have to fill in around the lights. And he just acts rather like a supervisor who is just checking an employee can do their job properly, that's almost exactly his attitude. According to him I'm only one of many he Muses at, anyway. And he just walks in like he owns the place.

I never dream myself in Middle-earth, I just watch things . It feels as if I walk into a '' scene '' and can smell, see and hear, but I am invisible. The scenes are more than vivid, it's like being inside a movie, but I can't join in. [ Damn ]

So there you go, that's '' Your brain on [ prescribed ] drugs '', or rather, '' Your brain off [ prescribed ] drugs. ''
The Crazy Origins of "An Elf's Love" by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Yes, I had a dream--or should I say nightmare?--about "An Elf's Love". In the dream, I stumbled across the original version of the story on Phantom's Ange's web site--an original version which was over 53 chapters long. Apparently, the 53-chapter version had originally been written in 1993, so Phantom's Ange HAD read the books, but when she saw the movies, she started rewriting the fic to plagiarize the script.

All the horrors of the real original--the pet tiger, evil!Boromir, pansy!Frodo, Rosa's singing voice--were in the dream original as well. Other parts I remember were a new plot twist in which Rosa was the daughter of Manwe and Yavannah, a secret gas chamber in Minas Tirith which would blow up Sauron's armies when somebody farted in it, Denethor living through the war and becoming Aragorn's page, and Boromir actually passing on information about Gondor to Sauron, he was that evil.

Also, in the dream, Phantom's Ange had been 16 when she'd first written the original story. I found it odd that she was still trying to post the fic 16 years later and apparently hadn't learned anything.
The Trouble with Palantiri by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
This was another one of those dreams where, instead of experiencing everything, I was outside myself, watching myself in the dream, as if in a movie.

I was running through the streets of downtown Columbus, Ohio with two friends. Gandalf had given us a palantir and told us that it had to be kept safe from this crazy, evil cult who worshipped Morgoth, and he and Galadriel had given us clues about where to hide it. All we knew was that the correct hiding place was somewhere in a men's club in an office building, but since we had to get it hidden before six PM and it was 5:50 in the dream, we were hurrying.

Finally, we got to the office building, found the club, and saw a mallorn tree growing in the center of the room. Immediately, we knew that this was where the palantir had to be hidden, so I tried climbing into the tree, but for some reason, it was spinning in a circle, so I kept losing my grip and almost falling.

Unfortunately, Morgoth's evil cult found us, and rushed into the room, holding out swords. There was nowhere to go, and nowhere to hide.

I climbed out of the tree, held the palantir over my head, and told the cult, "If you come one step closer, I'll drop it. Then you'll have to deal with the ramifications of a broken palantir: Feanor and the Valar will come after you."

This threat didn't work. So I dropped the palantir (which didn't break), knelt down, grabbed it, looked into it, and started chanting in this creepy, menacing voice, "You betrayed Feanor, the maker of the betrayed the Men of betrayed the Valar and Valinor..."

As I chanted, flashes of light started appearing in the room and burning the members of the cult to death. Their screams and the smell of burning flesh filled the room. Unfortunately, I was burned as well. I saw myself as a charred corpse lying on the floor, my friends weeping over me. Let me tell you: watching yourself die in a dream is frightening.

I had brief glimpses of different versions of this dream-within-a-dream. In one version, Gandalf arrived in the nick of time to pull the palantir out of my hands. I had to go to the hospital for my burns, but when I woke up there, Gandalf smiled at me, told me how brave I was, and started talking just like Dumbledore from "Harry Potter". In another version, the reason my friends and I took so long to hide the palantir was not because of the difficulty of the clues, but because I'd been visiting my grandparents and couldn't meet my friends at the appointed time.
Hobbit Actors by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Karlmir Stonewain
Told in the first person

I dreamt that I was having a visit with Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan in my living room. Although they were dressed in their Hobbit costumes, both were of Mannish height, so they weren’t supposed to be Merry and Pippin. Surprisingly, we weren’t discussing anything about Lord of the Rings, but rather the remodeling of my bathroom, a project I’m actually planning to work on at some time in the near future. Dominic was giving me hints on the types of plumbing I should buy for the shower stall by the time I woke up.
LotR Convention Date by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Karlmir Stonewain
Told in the first person

I was at a LotR convention accompanied by a middle-age woman who looked vaguely like Mary McDonnel, although I’m sure it wasn’t supposed to be her. We were visiting one of the hotel’s convention rooms where numerous tables had been set up for LotR merchandisers. Lots of noisy conventioneers were walking about in assorted costumes. We were mildly disappointed not to see any of the actors present. There was tons of LotR stuff for sale. I purchased a handsome palantir very similar to the one pictured on the Encyclopedia of Arda website. My date was about fifteen years my junior. I never did get her name.
Aragorn, Get Your Gun by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: aranel1
Told in the first person

One day I was in Middle-earth, when I approached Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, who were casually chatting amongst themselves.

“Hello,” I said, flashing them a cheery grin. “I want to give you a present.” I handed Aragorn a fine polished pistol. He took it gingerly in his hands and fingered the smooth barrel, staring at it intently.

“What is this?” he asked in wonder.

“It’s a gun,” I answered, matter-a-factly.

“Oh, I see,” said Aragorn. “So, what is a gun?”

“Here,” I said, grabbing it from him. “I will demonstrate.” I approached an ugly Uruk-hai and handed him the pistol.

“Wow,” he said in awe. He turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger. KABLAM!!

“Yep,” I said proudly. “That’s how it works.”
Eldarion and the Tower of Immunoglobin by jules14
Dreamer: Thredith the fair
Told in the first person

For some reason, Minas Tirith was situated in a deep valley, surrounded by mountains. Quite like Gondolin actually. Aragorn, in his infinite wisdom, had built a huge glass tower with plenty of long, thin glass tubes, all very prettily carved. On top of that was a structure, which looked like IgM (that’s immunoglobin, an antibody. I must have been overdosing on biology).

I don't remember what happened but somehow, Eldarion was hanging upside-down from one of the spokes of IgM. I was standing in a crowd and watching the spectacle. Maedhros and Maglor were standing beside me and pointing and laughing at Eldarion.

After that, I saw that Elladan and Elrohir were standing near this tower and cursing Eldarion for getting stuck in such situations. Legolas went over and told them that as his uncles, they had to save him. They were disgusted with this proposition but went anyway.

Soon, I found myself inside this tower, which looked like Orthanc from the inside, with Aragorn, Legolas, Elladan and Elrohir. They climbed over and saved Eldarion. Then, the tower started breaking. We spent ages arguing inside on how to get out until finally my school's prissiest prefect came and threw us out of the door.

The tower came crashing down after that and we were all giggling and laughing like imbeciles, feeling very proud of ourselves. After that, we were going to go and have a cup of tea with a spot of milk (I remember that exact phrase from my dream). We were on the way to Hobbiton when mum woke me. That was the end.
Saving the World Through Stuffed Animals and Piracy by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Freya Byron
Told in the first person

I had this one ages ago, but luckily I had a notebook on my bed, so I wrote it down as soon as I woke up:

Characters: the Fellowship minus Boromir, Eowyn, Will Turner, my Mum, Dad, and I, one of my dogs, and someone named Bob.

I think we were saving the world. There was a battle or something, and Pippin was badly wounded. We went to my house and I tried to heal him. Eowyn turned all of the lights out and put candles on the floor, and I tried to decide which stuffed animal I should bring (I used to have this problem all of the time when I was about six). I went downstairs and saw Aragorn in my living room drawing one of my stuffed animals in a sketchpad. He said something like, "So that I will always remember her." It made sense to me at the time, although I think I did still find it kind of funny. I went back upstairs and tried to heal Pippin some more, and the bad guys started attacking my house with missiles and stuff like that, but the house stayed undamaged. I managed to get Pippin to get up (it seemed to take about 10 minutes) and we went outside and helped the others fight the bad guys. Pippin mysteriously disappeared. Finally all of the bad guys were either dead or had run away, except for one guy who was wounded and lying on the hood of a car. He agreed to join us, so we healed him. Pippin was suddenly better again, so we went on our merry way.

We arrived at my old house, where we all stood around on the front lawn, until the guy (who for argument's sake we'll call Bob) went up to the front door. He told me and Will to come too because we had "experience in pirating". He knocked on the door and an old lady opened it. He pointed a finger gun at her and said "Stay calm. We are taking over the ship." The old lady got panicky, so Bob asked if we could have some cookies. The old lady said that she didn't think that was a good idea, and when Bob asked why, she said she didn't have any (even though we could see some on the table in the background).
We went to the neighbor's and knocked on the door, and my friend answered. I said that we were in the nieghborhood so thought we'd stop by to say hello. She asked who everyone was, so they were introduced. I explained that we were saving the world, and she asked if she could come too. My Mum piped up that she would have to ask her Mom.
It was getting dark, so Sarah said that we could stay there for the night, so we began to set up tents.

Then I woke up.
Galadriel the Pervert (rated R for sexual references) by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
I’m guessing this was a porn fic I was reading in the dream, for I can’t imagine what else it could have been.

Apparently, back when Galadriel was still known as Atanis and Nerwen and lived in Valinor, Orodreth lusted after her (thankfully, he wasn’t her brother in the dream). His method of finding out whether or not she liked him was to send a pack of hyenas to attack her. Once the hyenas had gotten her down on the ground and ripped off her clothes, they started licking her breasts and nether areas—and she took pleasure in it. Orodreth, then, figured that she must be the one for him, as her desires were as perverted as his own.

At any rate, he and she had a passionate affair, of which I didn’t read too carefully, before she dumped him before going to Middle-earth. Galadriel’s next lover was a Grey-elf named Hithaeglir (I know, I know), and her third was an orc! Her eventual marriage to Celeborn, according to the fic, cooled her enormous libido and curbed her desires. Obviously, the “sex-equals-marriage” custom for elves did not exist in this fic.
Stay Green for Frodo by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Freya Byron
Told in the first person

I was walking down the street with my Mum when we saw some people selling large paper bags with Frodo's head printed on the sides. It said something like "stay green". A disembodied voice told me that it was a fundraiser sort of thing for the Green Party (a political party in Canada). I pointed it out to my Mum and said jokingly that we could get one. She said no, it would ruin the story to buy stuff like that. I didn't want one anyway, because I figured you would look pretty weird walking around wearing a paper bag with Frodo's head printed on it. The picture was crappy quality, anyway. My Mum was just saying that my Aunt had bought one for my cousin, when I woke up.
The Mouth of Sauron and a Lousy Jeep by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Formegil
Told in the first person

I saw this one in January 2006, one week after I was released from the army. I was still a bit bewildered by being a civilian again, so I guess this dream came out of it. I had also been reading the LotR in the evening. I usually see very colourful and long dreams, and this was no exception.

I stood before Morannon, alone, with the camouflage uniform on and the usual battle equipment. I had also an AK-47 assault rifle. The Orcs were attacking and I shot them down, bordering on panic. The strange thing is, that the Orcs had medieval weapons, but modern uniforms. Besides, they were shouting to each other in English (I very rarely hear foreign tongues in my dreams, so it was strange). After a while my magazine was empty. When I tried to change it, both the rifle and the Orcs just disappeared and Mouth of Sauron stood before me, accompanied by my irritating platoon commander. The latter was silent, thankfully, but Mouth of Sauron said in a creepy voice:

”So you think you can sing? Well, you can’t, you suck!” He proceeded to taunt me for just about everything, accusing me for the most absurd things (for example, he said I had destroyed his car). This went on for a some time, and I was very afraid, especially as his face seemed to come nearer and nearer. He had a large helm covering it, but somehow I knew he would be ugly. He was also very tall and wore a black robe. I ran away, and the dream changed.

I don’t remember everything that happened after that, but I arrived by train somewhere I knew to be near my hometown. Somehow I also knew that I was in the Vales of Anduin (obviously King Elessar had invested in railways), which looked suspiciously like a natural park in central Finland. In the dream, it made perfect sense that my hometown was in Middle-Earth. I walked along a road and came to a motel, where I booked a room, the receptionist looking like one of my friends. I tried to find a sauna but didn't succeed and only changed clothes, my whole wardrobe being in the motel room. Then I heard sounds from outside and went there. Before the door there stood Pippin and Mouth of Sauron, with my older brother. My brother pointed to me and said:

”There you are! My friends can take you home with their car.”

Then he walked away and left me with the other two. Mouth of Sauron had somehow lost some ten inches height and was without his helm. He wasn’t ugly, though, only grey-haired and wrinkly. He was quite polite and we shook hands. Then Pippin asked me to follow them, and I complied. We walked to an UAZ (crappy Soviet-made jeep from 1970’s, still in use in our army). They told me to sit on the backseat and Mouth of Sauron took the driver’s seat. He lit a cigarette and offered to me and Pippin also. I took one and lit it, though I complained about the lack of good cigars. Pippin said that he would buy me a good Black Watch corona, once the journey would be over. Mouth of Sauron started the car and began to drive like a madman. It was at this point I woke up. I only remember this dream so clearly because I wrote it down immediately after I had awakened. There are other dreams, in which I have met LotR characters, but this was by far the strangest.
It Could be Worse by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
The infamous LOTR fanfic from hell, "Celebrían," was even worse in this dream than it is in real life. Even before all the canon-rape and disgusting porn started, there was an introduction in which Celebrían was a Mary Sue with magical powers who lived on modern-day Earth and got sent to Middle-earth. She was also falling in love with Legolas; this confused and outraged me, so that I kept stammering, "But...but...what about Elrond?!"

I suppose the Sueishness really would have made "Celebrían" worse, although it's pretty hard to think of ways in which it COULD be worse than it really is.
Boromir Watches Faramir from Heaven by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Aranel Narloth
Told in the first person

One dream I had right after I had just finished reading the chapter 'The Steward and the King' in ROTK (which just happens to be the best one in the whole series if you ask me). In this dream, I was sitting next to Boromir on what looked like a puffy white cloud with a silvery-blue pool in the middle of it. I was sitting on the opposite side of Boromir and looking into the pool, through which I could see Faramir and Eowyn on the walltop just before they kissed. Boromir, apparently guessing what his highly romantic little brother was about to do, smacked himself in the forehead and said, "You bloody idiot! If only mother could see you now!" Just after this, Faramir grabbed Eowyn and kissed her, just like it happened in the book (even though they looked like they did in the movies). Boromir buried his face in his hands, muttering to himself unintelligibly, but when I went 'Aaaawww!', or something to that effect, he sat bolt upright and glared at me as if I had suddenly sprouted an extra head. I awoke as he was shaking his head in a mixture of disgust and confusion.
Elijah's Interview by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: A friend of Queen of the Unknown
Told in the first person

Before I start this, let me say yes, I watched all three LotR movies a couple of weeks ago, with my sister (her first time seeing them) and no, I don't think Elijah Wood is handsome (o:

Alright, so... there was some sort of open house thing at this church we used to go to. So we went, and there was a guy playing a double-necked guitar, but it didn't just have two necks, it had two heads. So I was asking him how to play it, and he said he was ambidextrous so he could switch the guitar whichever way he liked. He then told me to go find a place to sit, and he'd be by to show me how to play it.

So, I go and sit on the couch, but we're no longer in the church, but at my house, by the window, on the couch. There are still people everywhere, but it seems really normal, and since we're thinking about moving, I think we might have been having an open house. Anyway, I'm sitting there, with my mom, and across from us, on the other couch, is Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortenson and Ian McKellen.... but no one's even noticing them! So I lean over, and start talking to Elijah Wood (who, for some reason was still dressed in character, as were the other two).

"You know," I said. "My sister just finished watching Lord of the Rings for the first time last week."

"Did she like it?"

"Yes." I nod.

He smiles. "Was she impressed with my awesomely good looks?"

That threw me off guard. "Well..." I stammered. "I think her favorite character was Aragorn." And I gesture to Viggo.

He has entirely too much makeup on and looks at me like he's lost, or had just been daydreaming. "Oh." he says in a very small voice.

And then Gandalf takes off his hat, and he's bald.

But then I woke up.
Yet Another Goofy Crossover by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
This is a brief dream I had on the plane ride home from Brazil. I had just watched "Batman Begins" for an in-flight movie, and earlier, I had been reading "The Silmarillion". So I'm pretty sure I know where the dream came from, but it still makes me laugh.

In this dream, I was writing a Batman Begins/Tolkien crossover. The basic plotline was as follows: Bruce Wayne finds out that he is the reincarnation of Turin Turambar, and that R'as al Ghul (sp?) is really Morgoth in disguise. Moreover, the Dagor Dagorath is going to be fought in Gotham City. I was also going to rate the story NC-17 and provide Mary-Sue lovers for both Batman-Turin and al-Ghul-Morgoth, because for some reason, I really wanted to put sex scenes in the fic. Finally, a slash relationship between Batman-Turin and al-Ghul-Morgoth was implied.

I can only imagine the flames the story would have gotten, not to mention how often it would have been sporked and MST'd, if I'd actually written and posted it.
The National Geographic LotR Special by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Karlmir Stonewain
Told in the first person

Here's one I had a few weeks ago. It's a bit short, but I still thought it was mildly amusing: I found myself in the waiting room at the local health clinic. As I usually do on such a visit, I went to the magazine table to find something interesting to peruse while waiting. A magazine immediately caught my eye. On its cover were Viggo Mortensen and Sean Bean in their costumes as Aragorn and Boromir. Both were posed heroically, looking toward their left while gripping their sword hilts. It was then that I noticed the magazine's title: National Geographic. "What!?" I exclaimed in perplexity. I had no idea why National Geographic would feature two LotR actors on its cover. I didn't get to find out either, because I woke up before I had a chance to flip through the magazine.
The Explosion of the Argonath by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: EmynArnenLady
Told in the first person

Hi there, I'm new and remebered about this collections of Arda dreams. I've never really had one (that I can remeber) untill about two nights ago. It was really weird. Well, first off, other things had been going on in my dream before this that's really hard to remember and put into explanation. But anyway. So me, one of my best friends, and a few others were walking on this trail when we came upon a large, sandy, beach-like bank of a river running at the bottom of a valley. We began playing in the sand and trying to build sand castles but they kept falling down (mind you, we're all in our mid twenties!). Anyways, I look down the river and shout "Hey, look you can see the Argonath!" and indeed we could see the back of a much smaller version (probably 1/2 their real size) of them. My friends kinda rolled their eyes as I suggested we go see it, even though they themselves are LOTR fans, but I told them I've always wanted to see it, plus I needed to see it for my story (which, indeed, will have a peticular scene involving it, so keep that in mind once I post it). So we head down the river, going up a trail to the top of the cliff. We come to the top and come to a large field surrounded by trees. We start running through it as fast as we can, laughing, pretending we were riding horses. Finaly we get in view of the argonath, wich now looks more like a dam with chain-link fences around it. we start running to towards it and are nearly at it when we hear "3...2...1..." and explosion. The statues of the argonath crumble into the river as we watch in horror. after the the blast, I run up to the edge where the satues were and almost fall down the cliff but catch onto the egde. Luckily, one of my friends pulls me back up and we stare at the empty spots where the statues were. Come to find out, they were no longer movie sets so they had to be destroyed. Then I woke up to my daughter calling for me in her room. Pretty weird...I hope I have more of 'em!
The Man-Eating Clowns by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Chaotic Demon
Told in the first person

A couple year ago, I had this dream where I was with Aragorn and Boromr in a random forest. While there, we started talking with an Entwife and her Entling. All of a sudden, we heard drums coming from some obscure point in the forest, and the Entwife cried out, "They're coming! Run!" So, naturally, Aragorn Boromir and I started running. Within a few moment, we were out of the forest and we saw that we were being persued by a horde of evil, man-eating clowns. Unfortunately, our efforts to escape them lead us right into their castle. It was at this point that I realized that the clowns could only see you if you touched them. Typically, it was at this point that Aragorn bumped into a clown milling in the corridor. Quickly he turned into the nearest doorway, followed by Boromir, the clowns, and I.

When I entered the room, I found that it was a public restroom. However, I couldn't find either of my companions. It was about then that I touched a clown. We both gasped, him in glee and me in horror. Suddenly, I saw Boromir, who had yet to be touched, signal towards how Aragorn had escaped; it was a hobbit-sized mouse hole.

Quickly, I jumped on the ground and slid toward it, only to find that there was a back to the hole about three inches in. However, I kept kicking at it, trying desperately to break through. Just as soon as the clowns had gathered around me and pulled a dining table out of the wall (complete with red-checkered table cloth) and started discussing how delicious I would be, I managed to break though the mousehole. It was then that I woke up. Apparently, the hole really was the way to escape those clowns.
Rootbeer Floats at Saruman's Diner by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Chaotic Demon
Told in the first person

I had another dream last night. I was at this local restaurant called "Chopped," where I ordered a rootbeer float, even though it's not on their actual menu. Anyway, for some reason, I up and left Chopped and headed to another restaurant. This second one was the stereotypical family restaurant, complete with red-checkered table cloths, overly-peppy waitresses, and really stupid names for their dishes. While I was there, I ordered their equivalent of a rootbeer float (The restaurant's name for it included "Whale" somewhere).

So, after a while, my real life friends show up and we sit together. When the witresses brought out the food, I couldn't help but wonder where my rootbeer float was. However, there wasn't much time to dwell on that, because an evil spirit decided to attack us.

Here's where things get a bit fuzzy for me. Somehow, the sprit managed to tilt the floor so that we were all sliding away, and I have a strange thought of playing on a teeter-totter with my pregnant sister so that I can save her baby. Next thing I know, my companions and I are racing out of the buling, which happens to be Orthanc. Why there was a family restaurant in Orthanc, I'll never know.

Anyway, so then there's some strange battle with the evil spirit, who, it seems, it linked to the palantir. Therefore, someone throws the stone off of the top of Orthanc to meet its doom. However, since this is my dream, It can't be simple. Intead, it bounces off of reflective surface A, lands on thin metal pole G, where it balances for a moment before falling and sliding down shute X, ect. However, it is eventally shattered on the ground. I had a passing, completely inaccurate thought of, "That's exactly how Pippin managed it," before my old high school, which was apparently on the same grounds as Orthanc, caught fire for no other reaseon than to include fire in my dream.

Just as I was about to call my mom to let her know not to send my younger brother to school today because it was most likely going to be cancelled, my mother woke me up.

You know, I never did get either of those rootbeer floats...
Nazgul at McDonald's by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Ohtar
Told in the third person by Chaotic Demon

Here's a dream my brother Ohtar had. He was at McDonald's placing an order. Then he found a gold ring lying on the floor. He turned around to give it to the cashier when he saw seven Nazgul coming toward him. He, understandably, started to run and they began to chase him. During his fleeing, he quite literally ran into an Ent, who acted like the stereotypical gay guy. Anyway, he started running again and the Nazgul eventually caught up. The Witch-king pulled a bag out of his cloak and handed it to Ohtar, saying, "You forgot your fries."
A Fanfic Author's Worst Nightmare by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
This dream was rather short, but scary. One of my Lord of the Rings fics was being flamed to high heaven, and in the dream, I suddenly realized that I thought it was bad. So the dream ended with me crying and deleting it.
Arwen's Lessons in Sexism by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
I was in a bookstore when I came across a book that had been written by Arwen to her son Eldarion (I didn't even consider that the author's name was fake). The book was a guide written for young men on how to treat women courteously. I didn't read through the whole thing, but I flipped through it, and it basically kept saying that women were delicate, helpless little flowers and that men had to be gentle with them. Meanwhile, the women had to be completely meek and subserviant in return. Before I went to bed that night, I'd read Ban Zhao's "Lessons for a Woman" for my Chinese history class, so I think I know where the dream came from, but Arwen's lessons were much more extreme.
Don't Drink and Drive with Legolas by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Silence is Mithril
Told in the first person

I had a dream that I was in a car with one of my friends named Clark. I'm pretty sure it was a red convertible with the top up. There was an elf -- he was blond, so I'm pretty sure it was Legolas -- passed out on the floor of the backseat. Several empty cans of Heinken surrounded the elf, along with a full case on the seat. I distinctly remember it being Heinken -- don't ask why. I told Clark something along the lines of "Elf can't hold his drink." Then I woke up. Weird thing is, I can't drive yet, nor can I drink. And Clark has never read nor watched LotR.
Gilraen's Pelennor Memorial by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Karlmir Stonewain
Told in the first person

I was walking across a suburban plaza on the Pelennor and noticed a memorial statue on the other side of a large reflecting pool. A few Gondorian citizens were walking about, all wearing medieval dress. No one seemed to notice that I was in my pajamas and slippers. I could see Minas Tirith above some nearby buildings, about a mile or two in the distance.

As I approached the monument, I realized that it was a statue of Gilraen, identical to the one in the Rivendell movie scene where Aragorn remembers his mother, except this one was twice life-size and cast in bronze instead of carved from marble. King Elessar must have already died by the time the memorial was erected. A closer inspection of the inscription carved into its granite base revealed that it had been dedicated by Eldarion. The monument was quite old. The statue had a deep green patina of age and its granite base was heavily stained and weathered-looking. Nevertheless, someone had placed a garland of fresh oak leaves at the statue's base within the last few hours.

It didn't occur to me until after I'd awoken that the dedication had been carved in English instead of Sindarin or Westron. The location where the dream took placed was, no doubt, fueled by scenes from a few of my stories. I envision Minas Tirith expanding beyond Othram during the Fourth Age into a series of suburban areas on the Pelennor which I've called The New City Quarter.
Frodo and Sam Go Mushroom Picking by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Karlmir Stonewain
Told in the first person

This dream is a crossover. I saw Sam and Frodo walking through the woods somewhere, busily looking about for mushrooms. Each carried a wooden staff and wore a large cloth bag suspended from one shoulder by a strap. They were having a successful hunt, as both their pouches were nearly overflowing with succulent mushrooms. I guess I was just a non-corporeal observer because neither of them noticed my presence.

Frodo spotted a large cluster of mushrooms near a patch of viny growth. As he went to pick some, the vines suddenly moved toward him in a rather aggressive fashion. It was then I noticed that they had pairs of sharp thorns shaped like talons. Clearly, the vines were some sort of predatory species capable of killing small animals and Hobbits. Nevertheless, Frodo and Sam weren't nonplussed in any way, as if they'd run into this sort of situation many times in the woodlands around The Shire.

Both the Hobbits beat away at the vines with their staffs, all the while moving about agilely to avoid the claw-like thorns. Finally, Sam was able to hold the vines at bay long enough for Frodo to hastily grab most of the mushrooms and add them to their sacks. He and his friend then meandered out of sight among the trees.

It took me a couple of days to realize that I'd seen the man-eating vines in one of the Star Trek episodes. I've recently undergone abdominal surgery and the medications I'm presently taking have given me frequent weird dreams. Unfortunately, this is the only one connected with Lord of the Rings, so far.
Frodo Punches the Pirate-Sue by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
I think I was supposed to be reading a terrible Mary-Sue story, but the action in the story was occurring right in front of me, as if I was watching a movie. The fic was a "Lord of the Rings" and "Pirates of the Caribbean" crossover, and the Mary Sue was a pirate elf with magical powers from Jack Sparrow's ship. She had stolen Gandalf's role, and in the dream, she was handing the Ring to Frodo and saying, "Keep it secret, keep it safe."

Unfortunately for the Sue, Frodo got suspicious, because he realized that it sounded like something that Gandalf would say, and he suddenly realized that Gandalf had been missing for two days. So he got angry and punched the Mary Sue right in the stomach. As the Sue doubled over in pain, Frodo shouted to Sam, "Sam! Get her keys!" and Sam came over and unhooked a large bunch of keys from her belt, before racing off with Frodo. Then the hobbits used a key to unlock the door of the dungeon where the Mary Sue had imprisoned Gandalf. I saw Gandalf huddled over in his cell, chained to the wall, but the dream ended before I found out how he got revenge on the Sue.
The Hobbits Go to a Gift Shop by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Told in the first person

Well, I had this deam a while ago but I remember it pretty well.

I was standing in the middle of a prairie with three of my friends. And all of the sudden we were hobbits. Me being Frodo, and the rest of my friends being Sam, Merry, and Pippin.

Anyways, Sam walked up to a nearby hill and started measuring it. He said he wanted to build Bag end there, but I (Frodo) told him we had to get power tools first! (Honestly Sam, you'd think he'd be smarter eh?) ;P

So, we walked to a conveniently nearby store in the middle of this empty field. While I was looking for building supplies, Merry and Pippin went to the back where there was a kind of giftshop. They started rumaging around and looking at postcards, keychains, and other tourist-trap items. Pippin pulled out a long golden necklace and was trying to run off with it, but unfortunately the store manager caught him and we were all thrown out of the store.
Anyways I woke up before I could scold the little shop-lifter, but was a nice necklace!
Aragorn and Friends at the Sheraton by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Karlmir Stonewain
Told in the first person

I dreamt that I was watching Lord of the Rings on TV, specifically the scene where Aragorn, Gandalf, Eomer, Gimli and Legolas are discussing the possibility of taking the armies of Gondor and Rohan to the Black Gate of Morannon for a showdown with Saruman’s forces. Instead of this scene taking place in the Tower Hall, however, Aragorn’s party was gathered in the lounge area of the grand foyer of a first-class hotel. It looked suspiciously like the Atlanta Sheraton, a hotel where I had attended a conference about twenty years ago.

Oddly, Boromir and Faramir were in the scene, although neither had any lines. Hotel guests and staff were walking about the foyer. None took any notice of the men dressed in medieval garb. Gimli puffed on his long-stemmed pipe while ensconced in a comfy chair instead of the Steward’s Throne. John Rhys-Davies wasn’t there, as the part of Gimli was being played by the late Sebastian Cabot.

A few hours after I awoke, I humorously imagined that the hotel wasn’t bothering to enforce it’s non-smoking rules. No one came out from behind the Courtesy Desk to tell Gimli to put out his pipe.
Denethor's Tantrum by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
I was watching Return of the King, and during the Siege of Gondor, Denethor's madness manifested itself in a VERY interesting way. It was brought on by the fact that one of the orcs broke a clay sculpture that his wife had made for him, and then taunted him by tossing the pieces through his window. Well, Denethor went crazy. He started picking up wineglasses and glass dishes and all this jewelry and throwing it around the room and through the window. All the glass smashed against the wall and floor with loud crashing sounds, and the jewelry got caught in trees and landed on the streets of Minas Tirith, where it was greedily picked up by the invaders.

This was pretty bizarre, but on the other hand, Denethor stayed on his pyre when he burned himself.
The Shocking Truth about the Lord of the Rings Movies by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
The shocking truth in this dream was this: George Lucas actually directed The Two Towers and The Return of the King. In the dream, I was watching lost footage where Lucas, having tied up and gagged Peter Jackson, was sitting with the actors talking about ideas for the new movies. According to the footage, the elves at Helm's Deep, Gimli's role as comic relief, tje extra useless Arwen scenes, and the bad version of Denethor were all Lucas' doing. However, the movies were worse in the dream, because the CGI looked terrible, Hayden Christensen played Faramir, and Eowyn had a lightsaber duel with the Witch-King of Angmar.
A Fearsome Weapon by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Araloth the Random
Told in the first person

I was standing around on Weathertop with the Fellowship when the Nazgul attacked. I was struck with sudden bravery and seeing as Aragorn was standing in a corner and smoking his pipe, not offering any kind of assistance, I tried to jump in and save Frodo. So I confronted the Witch-King himself, and pulled out of nowhere the most fearsome weapon of all time. . .

. . .a toilet brush.

The Witch-King nearly peed himself laughing and died.
Gimli and the Alien Invasion by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See first chapter
I am adding this dream to the collection, although it really had nothing to do with Tolkien's world except that Gimli was in it.

I dreamed that aliens had invaded Earth and were performing a whole bunch of gruesome experiments on people. Most of the experiments involved killing: in one, the aliens had a sentient, disembodied hand kill people in a bathroom. I don't remember too clearly what the aliens looked like--except they were dressed in black--but they loved surfing over buildings, and the way they did it looked like cheesy computer graphics.

Gimli had come to Earth as well, and he was staying at my house. I was treating him like a stuffed animal or a doll in the dream: hugging him constantly, picking him up and carrying him around, and brushing his beard. Strangely, he didn't seem to mind this.

Anyway, it turns out that the final experiment was for the aliens to blow up the Earth and see how many humans survived the explosion. Gimli, some strange people I don't even know, my best friend, and I were the only ones who knew this. So we had to figure out a plan to save the planet.

Gimli went ahead and killed the disembodied hand in the bathroom with his axe. Everyone was impressed that he managed to kill it when nobody else could (even if they were armed). I had an idea in the dream that it was because "Gimli's molecular and genetic makeup is different from ours! The hand couldn't figure out how to kill him!" Obviously this makes no sense when I type it now, but it did in the dream. And I also said something like, "Do you see the implications here? Gimli will be the only person to survive if the Earth blows up! He might be the only one who can stop the aliens!"

Unfortunately, the dream ended there. I never did get to see what our plan was, or what Gimli did to save the Earth.
Legolas's Long-Lost Twin by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Dreamer: Abbyforth
Told in the first person

Here is mine, feel free to come up with a title as I can't for the life of me, think up one!

The premise was that Legolas and Drizzt Do'Urdin from R. A. Salvatore's Forgotten Realms books were long lost twins. What is weird is that I've only read the preface of the Dark Elf trilogy, but I think I captured Drizzt pretty well.

Drizzt had been banished from Mirkwood for his dark ways. In the dream Legolas and Drizzt were meeting up somewhere near Mirkwood years later. Legolas was bright and cheerful; Drizzt was just the opposite. He was also opposed to seeing Thranduil for some reason. It ended with Legolas saying something to the effect of:

"Come! I know Adar wants to see you!”

In the end, he convinced Drizzt to come with him. If anyone wants a story I will write one, because when I woke up, I definitely wanted to!
Peter Jackson, Dark Lord by jules14
Author's Notes:

Dreamer: Itarilde Elensar
Told in the first person
A little while ago I dreamed I was outside hiding in my barn from the Nazgul with a few of the Fellowship members (including all the Hobbits).

When the Wraiths attacked I (not of my own accord) ran to my tack room and grabbed Sting off one of the bridle hooks and ran back out to fight. For some odd reason the other Fellowship members backed away and I was left to fight alone, though I didn't seem the least daunted, and managed to defeat them all myself, without Sting melting like it should've.

Afterwards I came back with the Fellowship, and they gave me some high-fives and patted me on the back. Then Frodo slipped me the Ring, which, oddly enough, was NOT a ring but a tiny white, glowing cube.

We heard them coming back, apparantly NOT defeated and bunched together in the corner, me hiding the Ring.
They entered, now being led by Peter Jackson, posing as Sauron, and surronded us.

Peter took out a sword and walked up and down our row, pointing it at us and looking for the Ring. When his sword passed me it gave off a weird beep, like some sort of metal detector. And he gave an evil grin saying; "We've found it boys!"

Then, I either woke up, or have forgotten everything else.
Andy Serkis and Gollum by jules14
Author's Notes:

Dreamer: Alicia
Told in the first person
I was sitting, drinking tea. (Not unusual for me) But then Gollom and Andy Serkis were there. Andy was hitting on me and Gollom was getting annoyed and hissing and stuff. Then a bat flew over head (We were in a tree-house) and Gollom screams "Ahh Wraiths on wings!" I woke up laughing my head off.
Time Travel by jules14
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
This was a very simple dream. I dreamed that the Company from The Hobbit had been transported to our time and was going to stay at my house. Before they came, I was panicking about what to feed them, because I figured that they wouldn't be able to eat any modern food without getting sick or dying, because of all the chemicals and preservatives in it. The dream itself was pretty boring, but I remember reading a recent story where the Company was transported to our time and settled in easily, without much culture shock or trauma. I wished that fic had focused more on the typical difficulties and dangers of time travel.
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