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I was surfing the internet when I came across a sporked fanfic that was a crossover between--wait for it--"The Lord of the Rings," "Harry Potter," and "Hairspray". People online described it as a veritable canon-raping horror, so, of course, I decided to check it out.

The author had the story posted on a web site that was basically a paean to herself--crammed with photos and videos of her, poetry she'd written, etc. The fic featured nothing but LOTR characters, then Harry Potter characters, then Hairspray characters, all performing the same songs from the musical. I don't remember what the Harry Potter ones were like, but the Tolkien ones horrified me.

For example, the song "The Nicest Kids in Town" was changed to "The Nicest Kids on Deck" and featured Gandalf, Frodo, and the other characters on the last ship to Valinor singing and dancing, '60s-style, plus Aragorn suddenly appearing like the teenage heartthrob in the musical, to excited screams of teenage girls. The song "Welcome to the 60s" was changed to "Black Forest Full of Pandas". I have no idea what characters were singing and dancing to this song, but in the dream, I thought the author was talking about Mirkwood.

The bratty young author didn't seem fazed by the negative rep she was getting. In fact, she begged for reviews on each chapter of her story, and had even posted videos of her band performing the different versions of these songs. I didn't watch the videos.

Yes, the crossover was a canon-raping horror, but it was a mighty funny one. Therefore, if anyone finds a "Lord of the Rings" and "Hairspray" crossover, send it to me. I'm anxious to read and probably MST it.
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