“Come here my Lord, lay with me.” said Lenorah, gesturing for Grima to join her, but he did not even glance up from the desk where he was seated so deep in thought was he, if he did he may have seen the expression of anger that now spread Lenorah's face. He felt so... ashamed. She was nothing like his beloved Eowyn no matter how much she resembled her or how he tried to convince himself. She was but just a child compared to her. He could not bring himself to look at her, to see what he had done.
Lenorah was one of Eowyn's handmaidens, only but one summer younger than the princess and of such a physical likeness to her that when they first met Grima had thought she was the princess herself. Usually he never greeted servants with his gaze, believing himself a man of such power and intelligence that they were not worthy of his attention, he remembered her as a child but had not noticed her as the young woman she now was. But by chance that day he saw her and on closer inspection realizing she wasn't Eowyn he saw an opportunity too great to miss. Eowyn would never have him, or at least not yet, he needed to be patient for now but the idea of having an almost exact replica with whom he could indulge his fantasies in the meantime sent him giddy with excitement. He thought it was a good idea at the time, but now he regretted it and felt as if he was betraying Eowyn in some way. Lenorah's eagerness to please him had began to disgust him.
"Come my Lord, come. Join me again in bed. I bet I can think of ways to cast that frown of yours away." she said playfully but still he did not stir. She let out a sigh and sat up facing Grima and in an overly dramatic tone began "oh counsellor, I, Eowyn, fair princess of Rohan beg of you to join me. Does thou deny his princess?"
Suddenly Grima bolted up straight and slowly turned to look at her. His eyes usually cold and sullen now burned with white hot rage, his expression scowled and before Lenorah knew what was happening he flung himself from his chair, arms outstretched he lunged at her where she lay. Terrified she tried scrambling away from him but there was nowhere to run and she hit her head against the wooden headboard with a great thump, desperately clawing at the be linens before her to try and shield herself but it was no use. Grima pounced on her and gripped an icy cold hand around her throat "You will never be her!" he spat as he thrust her hard against the headboard sending pain shooting down the back of her head. A deathly silence fell upon them both, his eyes just inches from her face staring menacingly deep into her own, she felt as though they were burning holes into her soul. "Never!" he spat again. Suddenly realising how tight his grip was on her delicate neck he released her, sending her into a fit of coughing as she desperately threw herself forward on the bed trying to breathe air into her lungs. He did not come to her aid, but calmly sat back at his desk, adjusted himself and in a low harsh voice commanded "Make yourself respectable and leave here." Tears stung Lenorah's eyes and through deep breaths she pleaded "But I thought that's what you wanted? I thought you wanted me to act like the Princess? you said..."
"I said leave here! be gone!" he bellowed. Lenorah froze for a second confused, before dragging herself to her feet, she hurried with her clothes and after wiping away her tears opened Grima's door slightly to look for signs of prying eyes. Feeling safe there were none, she took a last glance over her shoulder at Grima, maybe hoping for him to apologise for what he had done, but there he sat with his head in his hands. "Please, just go" he said in a weakened tone and off she scurried into the night.
Lenorah could not sleep that night. She thought back to when she was a young girl, of the laughter when Grima would play with Eowyn, tossing her in the air. The disappointed look on his face when he once presented Eowyn with a beautiful dress made of the finest silk and lace. Oh it was a beautiful gown, white with pale blue down the sides and showered in silver flowers. But Eowyn was like more like a boy than a girl and pushed it to one side. She does not deserve him! she wished that she had someone bringing her beautiful dresses. Lenorah had always been jealous of Eowyn, had always wanted to be her. She'd emulate her and when no-one was around would dress in Eowyn's clothes and make pretend she was the Princess. Having Grima's attention made Lenorah feel superior to Eowyn, she dreamed that he'd forget about the Princess and love her instead. He didn't mean to hurt her she thought, reaching a hand up touching the tender red finger shaped marks on her neck. She'd fantasize that she'd marry Grima one day and all around would remark at her beauty. She'd join him in his power and Eowyn would be but a forgotten dream. I'd love him more than she ever could!
Grima didn't have a bad heart, though you'd be hard pressed to find anyone else who agreed. Men are not born bad you see, but made so by the actions of others. He couldn't quite pin point what one event filled him with so much hate. Maybe it was his mothers death in childbirth, or his father with his fists eager to remind him daily that it was his fault his mother had died. Or maybe it with the humiliation and taunts from the other children just because he was different, or how the supposed good citizens of Rohan had seen his plight and yet turned away and left him helpless and all alone. One thing he did know for certain though was that he did not feel guilty, the people of Rohan deserved all they got in his eyes. Except Théoden perhaps, and his princess Eowyn. But he told himself that Théoden was just a sacrifice he had to make for his prize of a new life with Eowyn. They'd be happy he told himself, she'd be happy. As one lie became two then three, soon they were tumbling from his lips without a second thought. It had been far easier to betray his king than he had thought.
He didn't mean to be so cold to Lenorah. He knew he should have never gotten involved with her but he was so sick of being alone, so sick of being so close to what he wanted but yet so far away that when he saw a chance to live out his dreams he clutched it with both hands. He knew it was wrong but for those brief moments he was happy it was worth it. He thought being with his look-a-like would comfort him but in the end all it did was remind him that Eowyn was not yet his. Although in appearance she was much like Eowyn in personality she couldn't have been more different. She acted a lot younger than her years and did not possess the grace of Eowyn he admired so much. He knew he had to put a stop to this at once, before things started to get ugly.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is my first ever Fanfic and i know very very little about Lord of The Rings to be honest, i just like the character of Grima. So be kind! :) Please review if you have the time, it'd really mean a lot to me.