Aragorn sat beside Arwen in the throne room. Gimli, Legolas, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Gandalf, and Boromir were seated in the middle of the grand room at a table. Each had a glum, long-suffering expression on their faces as they held up letters written to them by their energetic fans.
Frodo groaned and thumped his head down on the table. "This one's proposing marriage!" The poor Hobbit was patted sympathetically by Sam and Merry.
Legolas snorted. "You think that's bad?" He showed them a letter written on pink paper decorated with roses and scented to boot. "This girl called me Leggie!" He fumed. "My name is Legolas!I am a prince and I shall be treated with respect!"
Gandalf shook his head. "Can you believe that there are some who have a crush on me?" He sighed, stroking his beard. "It's rather flattering, but I'm too old for that kind of thing. Besides, I am a wandering wizard. I'd have no time for romance of any sort."
"Alas," Boromir lamented. "Fanmail is a neccessary evil."
Just then, the group heard the great doors open. There stood Marie. She was struggling with a huge, white bag full of letters and presents sent by fans. She panted, stopped for a moment, then resumed her relentless tugging.
"I'll give you a hand." Gimli volunteered a bit sadly. "I don't have that many fanletters to read."
"You should be happy, Gimli." Scolded Aragorn with a grin. "Do you know how many young women have demanded that I divorce Arwen and marry them?"
"Too many to count." Arwen said unhappily. "Why can't they just be happy for our love and not force themselves upon my husband?"
Gimli hefted part of the bag on his shoulder, while Marie carried the other part on hers. They were both relieved to set it down by the table. Marie pulled up a chair and flopped down into it, exhasted from lugging the mail all the way from The Real World.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." She told them grimly. "Even if fanmail is a pain in the behind, people do really love you guys. Some of these may actually be worth reading. A few people are just writing to tell you all kudos on destroying the One Ring and defeating Sauron..." She eyed Borormir. "Or sacrificing yourself for the greater good."
Sam looked on with disgust at the pile of letters. "That doesn't excuse all the visits from-"
He was interrupted as the doors were once more flung open. An amazingly beautiful woman with startling purple eyes strode confidently into the room. Her hair was brown with streaks of blue because she was of a race of blue/brown haired Elves that had lived in secret for millenia. When she opened her mouth to speak, her blindingly perfect teeth shone with an aura worthy of the sun. "I am Xyxia, Princess of Sueland. I have come to woo the handsome Legolas!" Her voice was like ringing bells or the song of birds.
Marie glared at her and rubbed her temples. "I despise the Sues as well."
Author's Chapter Notes:
None of the characters are mine,no money shall ever be made off of this. The only thing that I lay claim to is the plot.
Chapter End Notes:
Well? What do you think? Reviews are peachy and will be enjoyed with whipped cream. Flames will be countered by my pet Balrog. (Watch out, he's very good with his whip.)