Title: Beside You
Author: Orchyd Constyne
Archive: Any, so long as I know where it is ^^
Disclaimer: I do not own LotR or any characters, lands, or items from
the Tolkien world. They belong to their respective copyright holders.
Summary: Erestor writes a letter to his beloved.
AN: This is Vesta's fault. Again. She should be locked up -- far
away from me! lol
His dark eyes darted to the golden figure sprawled out on the bed, and
a small, wistful smile crossed his lips as he sat at the writing desk.
He shifted a moment, the cold wood of the seat shocking his heated,
bare backside. The Noldo picked up the quill and dipped it into the
black ink. The creamy parchment sat blank and daunting, even for one
as versed in words as he was. Still, it was important he write these
thoughts down, important they be here when the Elda woke.
** Dearest Glorfindel,
I cannot sleep. I watch you silently sleeping, and I want to wake
you, to kiss your face and tell you goodnight all over again. I could
tell you goodnight dozens of times, and it would still not give me the
peace to sleep.
Together, in your arms, the world is right -- *my* world is right.
All the pieces fit and I am not some awkward, bookish Elf. No, in
your bed, in your eyes I am exotic; I am beautiful. I am not too
tall, not too thin, not too dark. I am perfect and glorious and you
can make me see myself in such a joyous light, golden and brilliant.
Your heart opened to me, and you took me to your side and offered me
what I thought I would never have.
You love me. There are many nights I lay in the stillness after
you have ravaged my body, holding your hand and listening to you
breathe. Tonight was no different. Well, until you said those words.
You want me forever, Glorfindel. To always be by your side, to
promise myself to you heart, body and soul. You want to place a gold
ring on my finger, and you want the whole of Arda to know this mouse
of an Elf is yours.
Did you not know that you never had to ask? I live for you; I
would die for you. I will be yours. I will hold you and stay with
you; I will find some way to show you how much you mean to me, what
impact you have had on my life.
I have supported you all these years, silently as your friend and
again as your lover. In your shadow, always there to offer you the
strength you said I had. Now... with just five simple words... I am
more than your shadow; I am more than simply behind you.
I am beside you. You have brought me out of the dark and into your
light. Because of you, I shine. I smile. I laugh. Because of you,
There were many nights, my love, that I cried into my pillow, cold
and in solitude, always hoping for something.
You love me. And now that you love me, I can love myself. I can
see that I am as you say I am; I am intelligent and cunning, witty and
fair. I am loved by you, and now I can be loved by me. You,
Glorfindel, are what I never expected in my long, lonely life. I love
myself, and I never thought I would be able to say such a thing and
truly mean it.
But, I also never thought there would be *you* in this sad and
lonely life of mine.
I love you.
Erestor placed the quill back into the ink and smiled down at the
parchment. He cast a glance to the bed where Glorfindel still
slumbered as he folded the parchment carefully. He slipped on his
wrinkled robes as he waited for the ink of Glorfindel's name to dry,
still pondering the beauty and purity of his lover.
He padded quietly to the bedside, looking out the windows briefly.
The sun was just touching the sky, a hue of pink lighting the heavens.
Erestor placed the folded parchment, with Glorfindel's name scrawled
across it, on the table next to Glorfindel. He knelt for a moment,
brushing locks of spun gold from Glorfindel's face, and his heart felt
as if it would burst as he looked on his love.
He kissed Glorfindel's lips tenderly and then stood, his robes from
the previous day forcing him to retreat to his own rooms before the
"Goodnight," he whispered as he softly closed the door, the shining,
slender silver ring on his index finger glinting in the dawn light of
the open hall as he released the latch.
He was loved.