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A Whole New World

Author's notes: This idea just popped into my head, and I have to write it!!! Please read and review!!!

Dedication: As always, to you! That's right...YOU. The person reading this story! Also, to my dear friend Beth....girl, you're CD is in stores! You da Chile, Beth!!! Jay, thanks for always being there! You rock! Kristi...I love you girl! You're the best friend I could ever have!!!
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Rogue sighed as she sat down on the bench in the courtyard. She leaned her head back, squinting her eyes against the bright sunlight. She reached up and pushed aside a strand of her white streaked hair away. *Things just keep getting worse,* she thought.

*Dr. Grey was dead.*

Rogue closed her eyes.

Dr. Grey had sacrificed herself to save Rogue and the others....she'd died for them.

*For me.*

Guilt washed over her in waves as she shut out everything else; the other students at the school, the birds, the wind....all she focused on was the guilt and all the voices in her head.

"Hey, kid."

Rogue opened her eyes and looked over to see Logan standing beside the bench. His hands were stuck in the back pocket of his jeans, his muscular biceps bulging under his white T-shirt. He stared down at her sadly. Rogue wasn't sure if it was because he sensed her pain or if it was his own pain over Jean's death. Whichever it was, it only made her guilt worsen.

She attempted to smile at him, and Logan returned a small smile himself. He sat down next to her, draping his arms across the back of the bench. They were silent for a long while, the only sounds heard was the ones that went on around them. Children played around the courtyard, some studying. Rogue felt her chest constrict. They had no idea what had really happened....no idea that Jean wasn't coming back. Finally, Logan looked over at her. "How ya doin', kid?"

Rogue looked at him and smiled brokenly, shrugging her shoulders. "I dunno....," she said. "I guess I'm doing alright."

Logan cocked an eyebrow. "You're good at lyin', kid, but I can see through it. Now, come on....it's just me and you. Tell me the truth. How are you?"

Rogue stared at him a moment before bowing her head. "I don't feel right," she said, her Southern drawl heavy. "I feel kind of guilty."

Logan frowned. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Because I broke the jet....I made it so Dr. Grey had to go outside..." Logan was silent as she talked, running over in his mind what he would say to her. "Ya know, sometimes I wonder if I should have died taht night on Liberty Island. At least then Dr. Grey would still be alive."

At those words, Logan turned to her, pointing his finger at her. "Hey, now, listen to me. I don't want to ever hear anything like that again, you hear me? It's not true. Alright? Look....kid," he said, his voice gentler now. "It wasn't your fault in any way. Now, Jean made a choice. She chose to die so that we didn't have to. It was nobody's fault, especially not yours." He watched the silent tears course down her face. "Rogue...Jean loved you. She wouldn't want you beating yourself up over what happened."

Rogue looked over at him. "So you aren't angry at me?"

For a moment, Logan looked shocked, but it was quickly replaced with anger. "Now why would you think that?," he demanded.

Rogue shrugged. "I dunno....because you kinda had a thing for Jean...like Scott loved her."

Logan leaned in closer. "You know he's not mad at you, either, right? Look, kid....it was no one's fault. I just happened...alright?" Rogue stared at him a moment before nodding.

"Okay." She smiled at him and he returned it.

Logan knew that Rogue was partially just saying that for his benefit, and that she still felt somewhat guilty. But, then again...so did he. He felt guilty that they hadn't done more to try and save Jean....*But the Professor said we couldn't have,* he thought.

He sighed and looked over at the girl who sat next to him. He reached out and flipped one of the white streaks that hung on the side of her face, careful not to touch her skin. Rogue's brown eyes glared at him playfully, and he smiled. "Come on. I'll buy ya a bite to eat."
*************

"She's blamning herself, Chuck," Logan said to the bald, smartly dressed man in the wheelchair. "She told me she didn't, but you can tell in her eyes that she does."

Charles Xavior looked at the man who stood before him. He already knew how Rogue felt, his telepathy having picked it up before anyone else. And yet, for one of the first times in his life, he had no idea how to fix it.

"Why would she blame herself?," Scott Summers asked from his position by the window.

Xavior looked over at him. "Because she feels that since she crashed the jet, it was her that forced Jean to go outside."

Beside him, Ororo Munroe--Storm--looked shock. "That wasn't her fault. She wanted to help. She couldn't help it if the jet was too powerful for her." Xavior nodded, his hand covering his mouth as he thought.

"She's insistent on thinking that One-Eye here and myself are mad at her for what happened," Logan said, looking over at Scott.

Though his eyes couldn't be seen beneath his visor, anyone could assume that his eyes held disbelief. "That's riduculous," he said. "I would never blame Rogue for the decision Jean made."

Logan raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, tell her that. The girl's as stubborn as a mule. It's frustrating. Like pulling teeth to get her to believe anything."

"What can we do, Professor?," Storm asked, resting her hand on the wheelchair.

The older man sighed. "What CAN we do? Grief is a powerful thing. People deal with tragedy in their own way. Rogue obviously deals with it by taking all the blame for it. You can't ever rush someone to get over their grief. It's a long process....I suppose all we can do is give her time."

The others were silent, none knowing of any other way.
***********

Rogue stared up at the ceiling of her dorm room. *Why am I even here?,* she thought sadly. *What do I contribute but more pain?*

/The curtain falls
Down she goes
So long worth
All the applause seems beautiful
It's got a hold on her.
She whispers
"I'll go home"
And then she's reminded
That she doesn't know where that is/

Rogue wiped the tears from her eyes, closing them and stifling the sobs that welled up in her throat.

/Thought she belonged
But she knows she don't
Thought she had love
But it is not enough
The pain inside
Speaking to her
How could she feel like this?
So aimless/

Rogue opened her eyes again, wishing with all her might that the voices in her head would quit yelling...wishing that things would just be quiet for once.

/His glass falls
Breaks into a thousand pieces
Spilling out
All he's tried to hide.
"I only wanted to be strong
To be brave
But it's driven everyone away"/

She clutched the sides of her head, trying to drown out the voices and trying to remember her promise to Logan. *It wasn't my fault,* she told herself. *So why can't I believe that? Why won't they let me believe that?*

/Thought he belonged
But he knows he don't
Thought he had love
But it is not enough
The pain inside
Speaking to him
How could he feel like this?
So aimless/

Rogue rolled over onto her side, clutching her pillow, pressing it against the sides of her head. She wanted it to be quiet. She wanted to feel guiltless.

/And I've been him
And I've been her
Covered up
Under the dirt
Want to get out
I want to be free
And know where I'm going
Where I'm going/

She didn't want to cause any more pain....didn't want to hurt anyone else.

/Thought I belonged
But I know I don't
Thought I had love
But it is not enough
The aching inside
Speaking to me
How could I feel like this?
So aimless/

She shut her eyes again, blocking out everything around her. Her room mates, the sound of footsteps and voices elsewhere in the Mansion....all she could hear were the voices in her head.

/They've always known this wasn't home
They've always known this wasn't home/

Rogue just wanted to get out. *I want to sleep in silence for once,* she thought. *No voices, no guilt....just the quiet.*

/I've always known this wasn't home/

*I just want to be happy.*

/I've always known this wasn't home/
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Alright! What do y'all think? Hopefully, it doesn't bite too bad. I got this idea watching X-Men United and I had to make this fic. So, read and review...let me know if I should post the next chapter....Oh, and f.y.i., the song was "Aimless," by Bethany Dillon (WHO IS ONE OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS!!! BETH, YOU'RE DA CHILI! I LOVE YA GIRL!) So thanks for reading and review for me! Love you all to death!!!
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