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Author: Az (Azmodan76@yahoo.co.uk)

Homepage: http://www.nad-no-ennas.net

AN: wooot!! the first chapter, its a rather odd and complex plot here, but hey its not the strangest thing you have ever seen from me. I don’t know what else to say right now. Quite a large part of the plot is canon; I chose to stick to it wherever it was possible. – And now for the explanations. When elves gave their children names back then, they both gave them a mothers and fathers name, fathers name was the one they were called, and mothers name was related to their spirit, as in the name fit the temperament of the child, these names was often slightly prophetic. Amrod’s fathers name (they are of course all in quenya) is Pityafinw, loosely translated to smallest/youngest finw, and this is why I chose him to be the char he is, and this is why the others call him Pitya. Amras’ mothers name is Amrussa, this refers to his red hair *laughs* and so I saw Russa as fit. I do not mention his freckles in this chapter but I will later and so I will dismiss it here, my own father was red-haired, and I was so lucky as to be born with a red-haired complexion, and thus I KNOW red-haired people/elves have freckles, cuz I say so. I know Nerdanel did not go with Fanor to middle earth, in my fic she did!

Betaed by; Calad my darling little pet elf, Bersa the wonder-woman & Silverwolf the amazing perv.

Rating: R (eventually N17)

Disclaimer: none of these characters are mine, sad but true.

Summary: Maedhros is bedridden, nobody listens to Maglor & somebody got a secret.

Warnings: angst?

Pairings: (over all) Amrod/Elured Maedhros/Fingon Maeglin/Maglor & Maeglin/El implied


Chapter 1. – I am the prayers of the naive

Amrod stood outside leaning casually against the huge wooden door; this huge door had always somewhat scared him, but he was scared of it even more. He heard pained sobs from inside the room. Ever since his cousin had rescued Maedhros from that cursed mountain, none had seen the high king. He allowed no one but Maglor close, not even servants. And not even his mother!

Fingon had not left; he still lingered in the fortress. Amrod had seen him several times as they had dragged themselves through a supper. The young elf rubbed his nose; he was not old enough to be indulged in the secrets around here. What did they take him for? He could hear his eldest brothers screams at night. He saw Fingon’s haunted look in those green eyes. He could hear Curufin and Maglor fight, and see the anger chiselled in Caranthir’s face. Yet ‘still’ they took him for a child.

He had seen a glimpse of his eldest brother when Fingon had carried him into the courtyard, his clothes torn and bloody, and the usually so authoritarian elf hang limply with his eyes closed. He had wanted to see more, and had taken a step closer, but Nerdanel, his mother, had clasped a hand in front of his eyes to spare him the sight.

Maglor hurried through the corridors carrying a tray with some food and bandages. Tonight he would have to try and persuade his brother to let the healer in to tend his wounds and prescribe some treatment. He was no healer, just a minstrel, not trained in this at all. However, if this was what Maedhros wanted, he would grant it to him. He would never in his life let down his beloved brother, not even should he ask him to walk the very dungeons of angband. And he had to admit that to change dirty bandages was a tad easier than to fight his way into angband.

Amrod saw his older brother come towards him with hurried steps “Maglor? How does he fare?” he asked his brother as he came to a halt.

“What are you doing here?” Maglor said harshly.

“I...I…” Amrod said. He had no reason to be here at all.

“tsh... scatter Pitya!” Maglor hissed and dismissed him with a angry glare.

“but..” Amrod protested.

Maglor sighed and put down the tray. “He is as could be expected.”

Amrod nodded, but couldn’t help casting a glance towards the hot soup on the tray. “I should go and make myself ready for supper.” he mumbled.

Maglor picked up the tray again, and smiled a strained smile to his baby brother. “I will be there as soon as I am finished here.”

“I will let mother know.” Amrod said, and took a step away. Suddenly he turned once more, and looked at Maglor. “Will you tell him I was here?”

Maglor raised a brow and asked, “Why?”

“Please?” Amrod said.

“I will tell him you were here Amrod, if it makes you feel better.” the elder elf said softly. “Now run along, or you will be late for supper.”

“Yes, thank you Maglor.”

Amrod left Maedhros’ door and headed towards his own chambers, which he still shared with his twin. There had been a time where they had been inseparable, but this was no longer the case. Amras seemed to take more after Curufin, than Amrod did.

After Fanor’s death, Amras had changed. All he had had in mind was to finish off his oath to their father. Amrod had several times tried to make Amras aware that they had been underage, and therefore not really bound by their father’s oath, but Amras would hear nothing of it.

Amrod opened the door to their chambers, but stopped in his steps as he saw Amras was sitting in his own bed, neatly polishing his breastplate. This was not good.

“Amras?” he said with a whisper, “What are you doing?”

Amras looked up at his twin and offered a large grin “I am preparing myself. Can’t you can see that, you oaf!”

Amrod walked to sit on his brother’s bed, looking at the different jars of leather grease and polish he had lined up. “It was not like I thought you were baking sweet cakes Amras.” he answered a bit annoyed, “I meant ‘why’ are you preparing your armor? I have heard nothing of riding out.”

“I know,” Amras mumbled, “but Curufin said…”

Amrod stood up with a hiss. “Curufin said what?!”

“I swore not to tell you…” Amras whined as he gently laid down his breastplate

“Don’t bother then!” Amrod yelled, “Keep your little secrets with Curufin! See if I care!” The dark-haired twin turned, and opened the door to the corridor.

Amras yelled something behind him, but Amrod didn’t turn. He walked as fast as he could towards the large hall where the supper was to be served.

Nerdanel saw Amrod walk into the room, looking as were he about to blow, she put down her needlework and padded the windowsill next to her “Oh Pitya, come, sit child.”

Amrod sighed, but walked over to his mother and sat down. Instinctively, he reached for her hand in need of some support. “I tried to see Maedhros today,” he whispered.

“And what happened?” she said, and stroked her sons hand lovingly.

“Maglor caught me, and…” Amrod said

“As much as I know you love your brother, I don’t think that having Maglor dismiss you can leave you in such a state.” she said softly. “Now tell me, what is really amiss my little one?”

“It is Amras…” Amrod whined, “He and Curufin have a secret, and I don’t think any good will come of it.”

Nerdanel sighed, “Curufin has a will of his own, and Amras is full of courage.”

“But mother, you cannot let them do this.” Amrod whispered as he looked up at his mother. “I think they are riding to battle soon.”

The female elf sighed and closed her eyes for a moment “I cannot stop them my little star.” she finally whispered.

Amrod hung his head and nodded slightly “I know mother.” he whispered back.

Caranthir and Celegorm was the first to come to the great table. Caranthir was visibly nervous, but as soon as Curufin and Amras entered he straightened up with a faint smile. Amrod walked their mother to the table, and sat down himself. He looked over at Amras, not saying a word, and quickly looked away again. He knew what was going on, and he was not a part of it.

Then Maglor entered together with Fingon, who still lingered in these halls, even though his cousin would not see him at all. Fingon seated himself on the same side as Amrod, as he nodded to the young elf in a greeting.

Curufin suddenly stood up. “Mother! There is something we need to tell you.” he said loudly.

Amrod looked over at Maglor but the elder elf didn’t seem to notice, he just looked up at Curufin. This was bad indeed.

“My brothers and I have decided that we should linger no longer, we will finish what father started once and for all.” he said, “We will ride to Menegroth and retrieve the stone that Dior inherited from Elu Thingol.”

Caranthir, Celegorm, and Amras nodded in unison, and Curufin continued. “We shall avenge father and Maedhros.”

Now Maglor suddenly raised his voice “He’s not dead yet, he needs no vengeance!” he spat.

“I am sure Curufin did not mean to imply that...” Celegorm suddenly said.

“I can’t remember asking for your opinion brother!” Maglor said venomously.

Celegorm paled but said no more. Amrod was just looking at Curufin and Maglor who now both stood up and leaned across the table, glaring at each other.

“What are you saying Maglor? Would you deprive us from avenging the foul deeds that happened upon our eldest brother? Or are you saying that we should not uphold fathers oath!” Curufin yelled.

“I am saying that getting yourself killed over something like this is folly…” Maglor hissed back.

“That was the risk we all knew was in it, Maedhros knew it, and you know it.” Curufin roared.

“Didn’t you hear him Curufin? Maedhros is not dead, do not speak as if he were!” Finrod suddenly yelled. He received an icy glare from Curufin, and Amrod hurried to pull the distraught elf back into his seat with a firm hold on his shoulder.

“Curufin, do not do this, do not go into battle fuelled on anger and vengeance.” Maglor said with a softer voice.

“If we should not venture into battle with hate in our hearts, then tell me brother mine, what should I feel for those I kill?” Curufin said equally soft.

Maglor didn’t answer; all he did was to sigh, before he suddenly slammed his fist down into the table. “How many pyres will mother have to light before it is enough for you?” He then looked over at Nerdanel. “Mother I beg you, forbid them from leaving.”

Now the hall was dead quiet, and Nerdanel slowly took a sip of her glass before she answered, “He is right Maglor.”

“But mother…” Maglor sighed.

“It is final.” she whispered.

Maglor turned to Curufin in one last desperate attempt. “Are you really ready to once more slay your own kin?” Upon seeing Amras paling, he continued. “Yes little Russa, do you really believe Dior will hand you the cursed gem on a silver plate?”

“Silence brother!” Curufin suddenly yelled, “You heard mother; it is final – we ride at dawn.”

Maglor shook his head and looked pleadingly at their mother, but she just stared back with a stern face, and the tall elf finally sat down with a broken sigh. “If this is really your will mother, I will ask it of you, could I stay behind to nurse Maedhros?”

Nerdanel nodded, and looked to Curufin who also sat down with a smile. “We will miss you Maglor, you are a brave warrior.”

Maglor shook his head.

Amrod looked over at Curufin as well, but the elder elf just shook his head. “No Pitya, you will stay here with mother, Maglor and Maedhros”

Amrod’s face reddened from anger and he clenched his fists, but stayed still.

“I am not leaving Maedhros’ side till I know if he will survive.” Fingon said.

“We will manage, though I must admit I had wished you would come along, if not for your pledge to Fanor, then to avenge the ill fortune of my older brother.” Curufin said.

Fingon shook his head “Nay, I will stay behind with the rest.”

“So be it” Curufin said and looked at their mother. “Mother, do we have your blessing?”

Amrod noticed the sorrowful gaze Nerdanel gave Curufin and his brothers next to him. “Yes,” she eventually said, “you have my blessing. May the Valar see the urgency in your hearts, bless it, and return you all safe to me”

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