The Sea Sings a Lullaby
By Camilla Sandman
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, I don't make money of 'em, I don't want 'em.. Eh, wait, I do want them!
Author's Note: For – oh, you know who you are ;) You wanted it, you got it.
Cool word I learned writing this fic: Dirge, noun. Song of mourning.
Burns. It burns.
Sounds, faint but increasing. Did I hear a scream? A cry of a name that should mean something to me?
Floating. I float, but there is something hard below me. Ground? No, the ground should not move.
Air. I need air… I feel… Pain… Dizziness. Water. Water everywhere.
Cold wind in my face. Cold, yet it feels good against my burning skin.
Am I awake?
If I am awake, then why is it dark? Or if I am sleeping, why is my dream so vivid?
I smell salt, and something wild and fresh. It is the sea, for I hear waves crash against the shore. A light trickle of water falls on me, and I can taste salt on my lips.
It is still dark. The wind whips my hair across my skin, and I try to lift my hand to brush it away.
Pain assaults me, my whole body screaming in protest as my hand is lifted. I can hear myself whimper slightly, but the wind carries the sound away.
The pain lessens, and I roll over to my side. I can feel sand next to my cheek, wet sand. I do not feel cold, for my skin still burns.
Slowly, the black begins to fade into grey, and grey into pale brown. The fog before my eyes unravel, and I can see.
Waves crash against the shore before me, waves from an endless ocean. Where the ocean ends and the sky begins is not clear, for it is all blue to my eyes. Dark blue and light blue, sometimes so light it is almost white and sometimes so dark it is almost black.
The image stirs my heart, though I have no idea why.
There is blood in the sand, blood that must come from me, for there is no other life here as far as I can see. The beach stretches far, ending in rocks, and beyond that, grassy hills. I see trees far off, and that too awakens a feeling in me. Is it familiar, or do I only wish to believe it is?
Where am I?
Is this Valinor? Is this the Blessed Realm at last?
Light. It is so light around me. Should it be this light? It almost hurts my eyes. We were sailing towards Valinor, Gimli and I. I remember now. We were sailing…
“Gimli!” I cry out, as an image comes to me. An image of waves over our ship. A storm.
There is no answer but the never-ending waves against the shore, treacherous as they are beautiful.
The sea. The beautiful sea has betrayed me and I scream in anguish. Why? Why am I denied this one joy of having my friend by my side for just a little longer?
And then I see something glimmer out there, like the sun catching a helmet. Something is floating out there, a body.
No. No, it cannot be. Yet I know it is him, for my eyes do not betray me.
The water is cold as I dive in. I will not leave him there, my dear friend. He will reach Valinor and rest there, in light and peace until the end of time.
The sea fights me, but my will is stronger than my pain, and I tread through the water. A strange urge to simply let myself float comes over me, but I cannot give in. I cannot become one with the sea… I cannot.
And finally, I reach him. He floats so peacefully, only the eyes widened in terror speak of his terrible fate. Or perhaps it is not so terrible, but merely like sleeping.
My friend, my dear friend.
I hold onto him, but I feel so tired. So very tired. The sea is pulling at me and him, together as always. Where will I go without Gimli?
My arms feel numb. The pain is gone, there is just numbness. My head falls backwards, and I stare up at the sky.
I can hear birds, their sad cries the only dirge Gimli will have. I can offer no, for my lips draw breath no longer.
I am sinking…
Gentle waves, rocking me so softly it feels like the world is moving and not I. The water embraces me, a cold, cold blanket. It is quiet down here, the silence a lullaby luring me to sleep.
To sleep and to dream.
I dream of the sea, I dream of Valinor, I dream of Middle-earth. I dream of me and Gimli riding across the land, laughing in joy.
Let all my life be a dream…