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Author's Chapter Notes:
I own no place or Character from Middle Earth !

Dear Readers this is a new story, it is unlike any other I had written because it has my own pain in it.:) I do hope you'll enjoy this story and understand that it is not a fan fiction but a pure parody! But I shall speak (write.) no more, you should read for yourself and judge.

Dedicated to Yulia and Efrat who had encouraged me to re write this wee evil piece.:)
My little Parody.

Based on a real story :)

Chapter one or "my miseries list"

Bars, Discos, Restaurants, Cafes. All the sweet smells of the Metropolis, the drunken men sleeping on the benches, the colorful prostitutes respectfully earning their money on the boulevards, the thieves, the maniacs, the youth. All these beautiful symbols of the big city passed me by as I, regretfully toeing behind a cheerful company of eager teenagers, which were also known by the title: "friends", made my way through the dreary crowed that filled the main street of the busy capital.

We were looking for a place to "hang out" as you call it these days, to sit and relax, maybe have a drink or two, even three if the sober mind and the empty pocket will allow it. But alas, nothing seemed to fit our likings, and we were desperately roaming the city, entering every single bar that opened its doors to us.

I was walking by myself, behind, in the rear, as I have told you, when suddenly Flora Sue, one of the youngest creatures in our little 'Gang' appeared at my side.

"Hey Lori! Listen I have to talk to ya! I feel that you are the only one who truly understands me when it comes to this subject, ya know, 'cause you used to be one -"

Pause. Stop the tape.

Let me tell you just a little bit about who I was and what that little wretch was talking about.

You see, I was a Goth once, yes, a Goth. You know, those freaky beings dressed in black, with those white faces and terrifying satanic jewelry who look as if they had just walked out of the concert of "The Vampire Lestat"?

Well, that was I, and I was very happy indeed, as only a true Goth can be, only when it rained.

But my quiet, happy days of agony were drawing to their hair-rising end when, in my own living room (!) the little goat had tolled me she really, really wanted to be gothic, it really fitted her moods, you see, it was the way she felt right now, she felt gothic, truly gothic! Then she asked me what being Gothic means.

I really, really, with all my heart and strength, wanted to through a shoe at her.

But with the loss of my unique identity I was not utterly dead to the world. I simply gained some experience and wisdom and had successfully recovered from the painful, heartbreaking lack of uniqueness.

I have found myself another identity! One that Flora Sue could not so easily snatch from my gentle hands and claim as her own!

I became a true fan of elvish style. I spoke Quenya and Sinderin, I wore clothes that granted me the looks of an Elf maiden, and I even had a little wooden crown upon my brow that made my ears pointed. But the best part of it all, the piece de resistance, was that little Flora Sue could not copy my new lifestyle and me only because she had short hair!

I was unique again, and happy.

"- I really feel that life is dark and gloomy, I feel the darkness had consumed my life and all of it is-"

Well, back to the story and back to the dark minutes I had in life when Flora Sue was muttering cheap teenage philosophy in my delicate ears.

I scowled, I gritted my teeth, but I endured all this and took it like a man! I nodded wearily, pretending that I was very interested and listening.

In my troubled mind I cursed my self for joining this zoo, I swore like a porter, I think I even mentally slapped my self, but I'm not sure, I was so lost in thought.

And due to that intensive thinking and total denial of the world around me, I did not see the huge pit in the middle of the sidewalk, and neither did Flora Sue, as it seemed for she had fallen to the pit first, clutching forcefully to my black velvet cloak that hung to the very floor, pulling me down together with her. And so we fell, two black clad screaming figures, further on to the endless unknown.
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