This is very good so far, especially for your first story. I like the way you handled the suspense; you let us know there was something wrong right away, then you drew it out (to the point where I imagine it would have been infuriating and painful if the reader had to wait for updates!) slowly and realistically, dropping just enough bits to keep it going. A little slow perhaps at times, but the realism made up for that. I also like how you picked up the story, so to speak, in the middle, not bothering with needless exposition or introductions but diving right in. I hope to see more character evolution as the story progresses, but you have everyone's relationship very well defined so far; nicely done. I'm particuarly fond of your Thranduil's sudden mood swings and the others' reactions to him; great touch. ;) This Mordraug sounds interesting, and again, good job with the suspense there. I can't wait to see what happens to poor Legolas (and the others) next! ~Tathrin (who is unfortunately retiring for the night as she has an early class--grr! Bloody idiot, starts reading a 61 chapter story late at night...only myself to blame...)
*snicker* Heh, loved the flashbacks (although I know I've read that butterfly bit before). Can't wait to see what the memory reveals! This, and the previous chapter, were so sadly sweet. Nice job! Sorry I haven't been able to read any more for a while; I was caught up by homework and promises to update. Cliffies are fun, but your readers tend to be upset if you leave them like that too long (*hintBlackMountainhint*). And, of course, I'm starting this at night...sigh...I'll never learn...
Oooh...what a threat! Loved the part with them at the campfire. Perfect dialogue.
:) Awww, how swee--crap!
Awww! Heartbreaking. A very impressive chapter, and a highly realistic farewell. Beautifully done.
Noo! That was so sad! Poor, poor Thranduil! Tears in my eyes...*sniff* So sad. :(
Ah, bugger...sixty-one chapters...class tomorrow...grr! Anyway, this is being very well done. I'm highly impressed. Everyone's emotions are so poignant and moving. And the scientific detail--wow! How are you doing that? It's amazing! I swear, if I see Elrond in a lab coat next chapter, I won't even blink an eye. The detail is absolutely amazing, and it really adds a whole new element to the story--which is, by the way, beautiful! Great, great fic!
That was really cool. I like how you can say so much without really saying it--everything's implied, but really clear. Very elegant, too.
I love this story! I'm glad you posted it on this site, too! :)
Oh my god, that was so sad... This was an amazing fic. Their emotions were so marvellously portrayed. It was a very realistic growing affection, and the writing style was beautiful. The time-span was well handled and the transitions between the sections were very smooth. Their pain and torment were so evident and expertly done, and their attempts at denial great. This was a lovely story of their friendship and love!
Whoah...that was, just...wow. I didn't know my eyes opened that wide. My throat's tight with the emotions you've conjured up. *swallow* I can't believe how sad that was...It's one of those can't-even-feel-like-crying sads, where you just sort of sit there with a lump in your chest and stare...
Author's Response: Yes, I am quite mean to poor Gimli and Legolas. *looks down in shame*
That has got to be the best "girl falls into Middle-earth" bit I have ever read. Spectacular! Good level of detail, too; nicely written. But oh, I am just so humerously overcome by that...heh... "Mary Sue the Vampire"--okay, I'm done now...
My my, so she's not dead...now that's interesting! Trust little Undomiel to charm even a Vampire into falling for her. ;)
Very nice, you have a great sense of description. It makes Imladris very beautiful. I like the shifts in perspective between Arwen and Faye. You capture both of them very well and seem to have no problem shifting between a well-done childish viewpoint and a far older one. Only one problem this chapter: I cringe whenever I see the word "okay" in a LoTR fic, although at least it was the elflings using it so it's not as bad. That's just a personal pet peeve, though, and I'm probably being too nitpicky. Anyway, I can't wait to see what you concoct with Faye and little Arwen next.
That was a great last line! Awesome!
Beautiful battle sequence. Again, the shift in perspective was well handled as well. But can this really be the end of Faye? Nay, surely it's not!
Heh heh, nope, not the end of Faye after all...nicely done. Seeing it through Mur's eyes and then only arriving to find the aftermath adds a nice element of--well, not really mystery, but something akin to that. Poor little Arwen, getting snapped at; Elrond's just frightened and worried, but she's too young to know that...methinks a conversation or two will be needed to heal that.
Very nicely done. I still maintain that was the best "girl falls into Middle-earth" moment in history, though. ;) You created some very real emotions, and managed to make them realistic in two vastly different ages. Faye's journey from monster to not-monster was well handled and very realistic--not to mention quite a bit of fun to read. The descriptions throughout were nicely detailed and very vivid as well, which added another element to the story's impressiveness. Nice job.
That was beautiful. Quite often, all we see is straing between Legolas and his father. It was nice to see how much Thranduil loves him. I like how you put in so much background exposition without bogging the story down with it--nicely done. It was a great insight into Thranduil and how much he cares for his children, and I liked the foreshadowing you give about how Legolas will grow up. Great interactions between all three of them; you really get a sense of how close they all are. Great story!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the story. The one thing I always tried to do in all of my stories is to show how loving Legolas's family is. I think that is a strong basis for him being who he is. I hate stories that go into so much detail the story gets boring. I try hard to reach a good balance. Thanks again.
Aw, that was really sweet. Short and cute; great depiction of a friendship.