so good. yay! Elijah seems a bit crazy, hehe.
geh, I had to review again because I wasn't really constructive the first time, lmao. anyways, this is the best short thing I have read in a long time. You have a really nice sense of flow and make pictures with words without over-stuffing it. Less is more, they say. hehe.
Soo goood. *tackles you and steals your writing brain*
So good, yay!
so nice, I like the characters. For some reason, I thought Isum would be the girl and Jovy the guy. lol. anyways, don't mind me, I'm sick ;)
gruesome, yet good. lol.
Quite lovely and entertaining, very well written. I especially liked the part when Namo was talking to Vaire. :P
Author's Response: Hehe. Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you very much.
This was so nice! I always love it when people take a moment from the movies or book, and make it so that we see so much more of what a character was thinking during that 5 or 10 seconds. whee. =D
Author's Response: I know that that little moment in the extended edition looks like they\'ve both completely given up to most people, but I never always thought there was something different happening there. Thanks so much for your review!
soo good. :D It drew me in. There was not extremely long descriptions or anything, but in a way that made it better, especially using the First Person POV for Smaug.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!
Nice so far, a spelling mistake: Celebrain = Celebrian. Also, you might want to have a more Elvish name for Alexandria.
Interesting story idea, I'll keep reading tomorrow when I'm not so dead *yawns* hehehe. me like.
Hi there -- I just had some comments about your fic so far. Well...your summary gives too much away, I think. You should give those details away throughout the story instead of right off the bat.
Also, this first chapter was a bit erratic. The characters emotions change extremely rapidly and their motivations are unclear (why exactly can Nienna not return until she has produced a family? Why can't Haldir return? Why is Galadriel so mean to Nienna -- surely it can't be because of Haldir only.) And when they are first walking through the woods, Nienna tells Haldir to "prove" he loves her by kissing her...despite the fact that they have already said "I Love you" before. It just makes her seem manipulative (and with the part that said "their lips crashed together" that was slightly strange vocabulary). Also...you don't really need tags at the end of the dialogue so much.
You have a great concept here, but I think you're dumbing it down a little too much (by focusing on cheap emotion like "crashing lips" or Arwen yelling after about a 10 second exchange for no reason really) without really explaining important things like how the heck she'd make it out of Lothlorien like that, for example. I don't mean to be harsh...just want to help :)
*in addition to the last paragraph of my first review - or without really setting the stage
Nienna acts extremely childish...and why would Galadriel randomly decide to let them be together??
Ok...well...why exactly would Nienna go insane if she found out that someone else loved her????? That kind of defies logic. And why would she go crazy and assume that haldir is lying and that he must not love her?? And where was there any indication, any reason, that she would go to Legolas over Haldir? I'm sorry...but this is all highly improbable and very strange.
Ok...um....yeah. She breaks up with him after one fight? She randomly charges back and forth between two guys for apparently no reason? And Haldir is acting pretty stupid if he just randomly accepts her back without saying "gee, maybe I'll get hurt again"? And why is Galadriel being so creepy to her own daughter?
geh this is so good! please continue. I'll be more specific if you want ;) just too dead right now to do an analysis.
hehhe, I do that trying-to-find-clothes thing a lot. I do discover things I thought I lost in my closet, and then I complain about having nothing to wear. :P I loove your story, it's so realistic and un-mary-sue like.
teehee. I would have died by now. and that is the really great thing about this story -- you can relate with the characters and enjoy their story.
tee, roxie is really one cool gal. nice job with this chapter.
this is really pretty and lyrical. it has a nice rhythm and it conveys the emotions of Helms Deep (and other battles) really well. Nice! (much better than I could ever write poetry, haha) :D
Author's Response: Thanks alot. I\'m very proud about this poem. But it\'s true! I did write this poem after watching the battle at Helm\'s Deep.