HA! this was hilarious. I especially liked the part about sticking your head in the over and the other choices. roflmao *can't stop laughing* it's so absurd and yet so true, how can you not help but cackle? **We trust him. Wrongly** *cackles off into distance...*
Author's Response: Nieriel, Thank you for your review. However, these stories are not meant to be comedic. In my opinion, they provide characters with much depth that remain true to Tolkien. The Å“humorÂ setting under Å“genreÂ must have been a mistake. Clearly these are deeply dramatic stories with compelling undertones that show the desperation of the times. Excuse me while I write a slash fic to better illustrate my point. Much Love, KimberlyJane P.S.- Thank you for the nice review. I think I want one more chapter for this story, parody one more genre, and then maybe try to write a real fic. By the way, I just started \"Stolen Desert Gold\" and am really enjoying it, even if it lacks the unquestionable depth and intensity that is present in my works of dramatic genius.
wtf? (a good wtf) lmao. I have no clue what corner of your mind this fic came from but it is hilarious. hurry and update! :D
Author's Response: As I stated previously, naught but dramatic genius.
:P good job, hehehehee. *glomps you*
Author's Response: Thanks so much! It was a ton of fun to write, and got my brain back in shape for summer AP work (bleh). Six books and six assignments to go along with them for two months. Really only one month because I\'ll be at Ithaca ALL of July for a musical theater thing...so I\'m going to try to post two more stories before I go...if I can ever decide on my next genre to parody.
I hope you continue this, but some points: We already know all the races, you don't have to explain them. Orcs are spelled with c's. And "1 girl had survived," and other instances where you used the number 1, you should type out the word.
Also, if you want to hook your readers a bit better, show, don't tell. This means don't give us a summary of Kelsey's ability and life and all the races, write a scene where it is shown to us by words and actions.
Author's Response: I thank you very much for your review. I know I wrote orcs with a K but that may come because I\'m Dutch and we write it with a K. The scenes that you mention will come. They are on the way but aren\'t ready yet. I\'m writing this while the second came in so i\'ll tell you also some things that you said in the second. Kelsey was a name that I just made up. I liked the name so I just used it. I hope that doesn\'t bother you. With emotions I\'m not so good. Also not with details. I\'m trying to perfect that but because this is not one of my newest it isn\'t that great yet. The bad guy died in the second chapter so I can\'t make him very evil anymore =P And I know that Haldir comes from LothLorien. But I like him and in later chapters I need him like that. If you don\'t mind =P Thanks again for your reviews and happy reading =D KelseyWhiteleaf
Ok, if Kelsey is an elf, Kelsey would not be her name. It's quite unrealistic. Haldir lives in Lothlorien, not Rivendell. It would also be nice if you could try to make the emotions a bit more real by smoothing out and lengthening your sentences so they aren't choppy, as in the beginning when he was interrogating Kelsey. Otherwise it jerks the reader.
Please make that guy a better bad guy than your typical generic evil person? *bats eyes* please?
Show more of his point of view, his motivations, etc. Don't just go "he grinned evilly." "he slapped her." Go past the generic bad guy and make a really good one. :)
hehehehe this was funny and smoothly written ;) Good work.
Author's Response: My first reviewer! Thanks. Glad you liked it. I had great fun writing it. I lover (relatively) clueless Aragorn. *Snicker* I have more stories (only two) over at FF.Net . I\'ll probably post them here when I get around to it.
Author's Response: **Shrugs** Well, maybe it will get better by chap three. I\'m actually pondering taking it down and totally revising it and then posting it again. We\'ll see.
hahaa, that mascara thing was funny, it sounds like something Denethor could have done. :P
Author's Response: HA I know. I think I\'m going to write him a fic at one point or another.
hehehehe, I ventured into this fic because it was PG and you delivered, lol. chocolate is awesome!
hmm...I think that this could be an interesting concept, except it seems like you are remaking the Lord of the Rings. Elendil was way back with Numenor, Huor was a man in the First Age (The Silmarillion). Sauron is extremely dead. Maybe you could make The Mouth of Sauron be the new villain? He doesn't die in the books, he dies in the movie, so you're all good. And changing the names of the characters along with that would make this story 10x better right off the bat.
Author's Response: You know, I don\'t know why I didn\'t see this happening and why I didn\'t explain myself better but thank you for pointing it out! Elendil is not the same as the one in Numenor, it is a boy that is after the War of the Ring and is given the same name. I feel a fool for not explaining that and perhaps the chosen name was a bit wrong but there is reason to it, I promise. Thank you though so much for the input and bit of aide you offered, it\'s nice to hear such well versed fans of Tolkien still exist.
I like how you are writing this as a story...I somewhat expected a more documentary-style work, but this is very good so far, I like it.
Author's Response: Thanks.