What a dramatic beginning: great start!
Author's Response: Yeah, maybe I overdid it a little. Thanks for your review!
Oh, very clever!
Author's Response: Thank you for reading :)
Well, that does end in disaster . . . I notice Arwen manages to stay far away from the kitchen. I bet Strider's a pretty good cook, though.
Author's Response: Oh, you really think that? Maybe I\'ll write a story to show you JUST how wrong I think you are!
I like the characterization of the Ring as vain. Maybe there's a Tenth Walker tale (with the Ring as the Mary Sue) in that.
I prefer narrative to screenplay style, but of course you chose to continue in the same style as the first part of the series. I'm curious to read "Feuding at the Fishing Hole" -- part 3.
This is quite an engaging vignette.
Author's Response: Thanks, Ria. I\'m glad you enjoyed it.
What a lovely creepy idea! Would a gem like that be a feamir?
Author's Response: *laughs* I guess feamir fits it, huh! *hugs* Glad you enjoyed it, Ria. Thank you.
I love the concept of the story, and I really admire your bravery in tackling it. So far, the characters are interesting and believable.
Author's Response: Thank you! I was a little wary of it myself at the beginning, but I\'m having fun now. :)
Maybe you could name this chapter "A Morning Without Coffee". I can't but imagine that there will be repercussions to Sir Ian's missing his coffee. (!) This chapter seems good even un-proofread.
Author's Response: Thanks! Haha, great idea. :) I will do so.
I hope you'll update this soon. I've actually reread several chapters just to stay in touch with the story, but I'd rather have MORE.
That's a great start to your story. I feel for Beregond, though: shot, stabbed at and hit by a car, all in the first chapter.
Author's Response: Yeah, I\'m mean like that. *whistles innocently* And, like Havoc said - that\'s just the tip of the iceberg.
I finally finished this story, and it's great. I like how Beregond developed alchemical powers without becoming so powerful that he disrupted the plot. I've never watched the anime (alas), but I got a real sense of its characters and world through your writing.
Author's Response: Well, yeah, I\'m not really in favour of all the: \"ZOMG! I now have a new convenient power and now I\'ll magically solve everything.\" After all, powerful or not, Beregond is still new in this alchemy business and he lacks the confidence. This will be more evident as the story goes on.
That's a good start. The descriptions are well done. I really like that you describe the characters more through their interactions than their hair and eye coloring. I think you can improve it by proofreading a bit, particularly the direct speech.
I really enjoyed the character of the Balrog bartender. Somebody ought to draw you up a picture of him. (I don't have the skill, unfortunately.)
Author's Response: *grins* Glad you like him; I also like him. :) Thanks, Ria. Happy you enjoyed the fic.
Nicely written -- I like how you worked the dragon reference into the conversation so that it didn't seem hideously purple.
I really like the beginning. Your characterization of the Fellowship is clear and entertaining. I hope you put in some more paragraph breaks in the last chunk of the story, though.
Author's Response: I definitely will try to improve my formatting. I haven\'t gotten the hang of html yet. I\'m glad you enjoyed it and thanks for reviewing.
And here I thought they'd have found Paris, or Will Turner . . .! This is more drama for Balian, though.
Author's Response: Hmm, Orlando Bloom\'s good, but you can have too much of a good thing. :P Balian will just have to deal with his archenemy for the rest of the war. Poor him.
Congratulations on trying out a new literary technique! That's one of the most enjoyable aspects of writing fanfic. You surprised me in this chapter (a good thing!): I thought you were going to have Guy be the goat and die instead of Boromir.
Author's Response: Thanks. I had quite a bit of fun writing Boromir\'s stream of consciousness.
I like the story, but I don't think the repeated Balian-abuse is exciting. It seems like he gets tied up and beaten or threatened every other chapter. =( He's such a Walter Scott hero, he should be able to find a way around it. Admittedly, that's all my personal opinion about the plot -- your writing is very clear and vivid, and I dig the way that you're really examining how he might see and understand Middle Earth.
Author's Response: Well, he\'s going to stop getting into so much of this sort of trouble from now on because all the misunderstandings have been cleared up now. It\'s going to be much more angsty in the later chapters when the war actually starts for real.
Hurrah! Balian at Helm's Deep!
I'm glad you're using so many of the great scenes from the extended edition. I liked it that they managed to include Saruman and Grima's ends even though they didn't have the Scouring of the Shire. You've really managed to take the movie's words and scenes and make them your own through the lens of Balian and by adding more -- it flows very well.
That said, I thought Legolas and Gimli were acting a mite childish in the last chapter.
Author's Response: I love the scenes from Extended Edition. The childish behaviour were all for the sake of comedy and they always struck me as being rather immature.