Penname: Ria [Contact] Real name:
Member Since: 08/04/06
Membership status: Administrator
Bio:
**CURRENTLY IN THE THRALL OF NANOWRIMO**

Mine is a Callimachean muse, and a relentlessly silly one. That means I tend to write fluff, satire and randomness. "The Campfire" and "A Sweet Snore" are my fluffiest; "Mary Sue Productions" is an example of satire (go figure); and "Radagast Departs" and "Beside the Well" fit into the random bucket.


I have adopted Ithilion the Mini-Balrog.

My favorite pre-modern authors are: Ovid, Sei Shonagon and Shakespeare. My favorite authors from before the midcentury are: Jane Austen, P.J. Wodehouse and Raphael Sabatini. My favorite recent authors (at the moment) are: Harry Turtledove, Lois McMaster Bujold, Judith Merkle Riley and Jennifer Crusie.

Please try my new challenge, Wild in the Woods.
Beta-reader: Yes
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Reviews by Ria
Summary: Raystelieme just wanted to have a family. Or a boyfriend. Or both. Or the Fellowship drooling over her. But really, the Fellowship has seen *way* too much of Mary-Sues. So, they decide to get rid of her... But Raystelieme is much more a troublesome Mary-Sue than most. Originally posted on "Middle-Earth on TV!" Lots of misadventures, parodies, crossovers, chaos, and sarcastic humor. I promise.
Categories: Crossovers
Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, Frodo, Gandalf / Olorin, Gimli, Glorfindel, Legolas, Merry, Original Character, Pippin, Sam, Sauron
Genres: Humor, Parody
Warnings: AU (alternate universe)
Series: None
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 7837 Read Count: 5303
[Report This] Published: 03/01/06 Updated: 23/06/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 09/05/06 Title: Chapter 2: Part Two - Mary-Sues Are Scary

I love the detail of her selecting her smile. Also, the song is quite funny.

I will definitely read on!

RS

Author's Response: :D Thanks, glad to have an appreciative reader!

By the way, if you think the song is funny now, you should see my brother sing it, in a tutu and all frou frou things, complete with a blonde wig. Quite disturbingly hilarious.

Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 27/07/07 Title: Chapter 2: Part Two - Mary-Sues Are Scary

I really like the line "Undill. Undominel. Whatever." Very funny!

Please, though, don't use repeated characters for line breaks, or if you want a graphic break, group them in groups of two or three at most. (** **)

Summary: I FINALLY UPDATED!!!!!!! What if Galadriel had failed the test and accepted the Ring when Frodo offered it to her? Totally OOC and goofy and random
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Galadriel, Other, Sam, Sauron
Genres: Action/Adventure, Humor
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 1422 Read Count: 5020
[Report This] Published: 09/01/06 Updated: 17/10/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 06/05/06 Title: Chapter 2: Mirrors & Wraiths

I think you have a great idea (kind of like Glen Cook's Black Company character, the Lady), but the choppy style you chose makes it harder to take in. Even though it's humor, it seems like an epic subject.

I want to read your next chapters.

RS

Author's Response: Thanks!

Blood Thorns by angelsfyre1 Rated: NC-17 [Reviews - 27]
Summary: A possible spy is captured by the sons of Elrond just after the departure of the Fellowship. Is she truly a threat? That is what Glorfindel and the twins wish to discover. GlorfindelOC ,OC,M/F
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Elrond, Elrohir, Elladan, Glorfindel, Original Character, Erestor
Genres: Romance, Action/Adventure, Angst, Humor
Warnings: AU (alternate universe)
Series: None
Chapters: 14 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 25850 Read Count: 14290
[Report This] Published: 21/01/06 Updated: 29/01/07
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 30/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: Arrival of Chaos

You should add this to the A Spy in Rivendell challenge! It seems perfect.

Summary: Very short; Boromir and Faramir share a carefree afternoon in their younger years.
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Boromir, Faramir, Denethor
Genres: General
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 892 Read Count: 1654
[Report This] Published: 16/02/06 Updated: 16/02/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 22/07/08 Title: Chapter 1: A Day of Play

Great job writing a more nuanced Denethor. Also, the relationship between the brothers is very nicely drawn.

Heart's Joy by rivergirl Rated: NC-17 [Reviews - 7]
Summary: Legolas/Elrond fic written for Valentine fic swap -- Legolas turns the tables on Elrond during the Elvish love celebration
Categories: Book Verse Slash
Characters: Elrond, Legolas
Genres: Romance, Erotica
Warnings: Slash (same sex pairing)
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 6304 Read Count: 2620
[Report This] Published: 20/02/06 Updated: 20/02/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 02/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Complete

Hey, add this to my Valentine's Day challenge: it's perfect!

Braveheart by Numenora Rated: G [Reviews - 7]
Summary: Faramir stands his ground. Written for writers_art lj community (not posted); Prompt #2: "Bravely, he turned to face them."

Categories: Book-verse, Movie-verse
Characters: Faramir, Faramir
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 260 Read Count: 1689
[Report This] Published: 30/03/06 Updated: 30/03/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 22/04/06 Title: Chapter 1: Braveheart

Charming!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Ria. Patty.

An Attempt At Realism by Aralia Rated: PG-13 [Reviews - 30]
Summary: Young woman finds herself in Middle Earth, unfortuately it's nothing like the films, the little book knowledge she has is hardly any help either.
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Aragorn, Boromir, Denethor, Diamond Took, Elrond, Faramir, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf / Olorin, Gimli, Gollum, Ioreth, Ioreth, Legolas, Merry, Orcs/Uruk-Hai, Original Character, Pippin, Sam, Sauron, Treebeard, Witch King
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: AU (alternate universe), Character Death
Series: None
Chapters: 15 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 15421 Read Count: 21730
[Report This] Published: 06/04/06 Updated: 29/05/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 18/04/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1- Realism

Aralia, I like your idea. I would do some beta reading for you, if you like, though I can't commit to it all. I'm a grammar-waffe, if not a full on grammar Nazi. ;)
RS

Haunted by Clever Hobbit Rated: PG-13 [Reviews - 2]
Summary: Years after the War of the Ring, when all of the hobbits have left the Shire, a young Ranger discovers the secrets of Bag End when driven in there by need.
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam
Genres: Action/Adventure, Fantasy
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 7290 Read Count: 1863
[Report This] Published: 15/04/06 Updated: 15/04/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 13/04/07 Title: Chapter 2: Part 2: Inhabited

This is a great story about what happened after the War of the Ring, although it's sad to think of Bag End being abandoned.

Summary: What happened to Faramir between the suicide charge to Osgiliath and his return, unconscious and wounded, to the gate of Minas Tirith? How did he come to be the only survivor? And what happened to him in the Houses of Healing?
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Faramir, Orcs/Uruk-Hai
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama
Warnings: Torture
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4093 Read Count: 2239
[Report This] Published: 22/04/06 Updated: 22/04/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 22/04/06 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Excellent! One thing I do like from the movie-verse is the moment of contact when Faramir wakes up while Denethor is burning . . . you melded the book-verse depth of Faramir nicely with the dramatic events of the movie.

RS

Summary: A newcomer with a perchance for Feanor’s treasure chest arrives in Mandos and decides to appropriate Feanor's rooms for himself and kill anyone who tries to resist him. Thankfully, everyone already is dead. Still, what with an oxygen-deprived Elf as an assistant, an idle wife, and a vain overlord! What's a Vala of the Dead supposed to do?
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Eonwe, Feanor, Gwindor, Namo / Mandos, Smaug
Genres: Humor, Parody
Warnings: AU (alternate universe)
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4221 Read Count: 2195
[Report This] Published: 27/04/06 Updated: 27/04/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 27/04/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Problematic Dragon

Very recognizable Smaug, but a very creative and unexpected setting. I liked it a lot. I think you probably matched the spirit of Gondor's True Queen's challenge perfectly.

RS

Author's Response: Thank you very much. *is pleased and touched*

Summary: What if Feanor had not set sail on the Telerin ships, leaving Fingolfin and his host behind, hmm?

Written for the "Canon twist" challenge at the Silmarillion Writer's Guild, this little fic raises many questions and answers none, I'm afraid.
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Fingolfin, Turgon
Genres: Angst
Warnings: AU (alternate universe)
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1449 Read Count: 1848
[Report This] Published: 01/05/06 Updated: 01/05/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 06/05/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is very clear and intriguing. I would like to find out what happens next.

RS

Author's Response: Thank you! I would like to know what happens next too. :) At any rate, it would be very different form the events in the Silmarillion.

Cold Iron by gythia Rated: G [Reviews - 9]
Summary: Arwen and Eowyn discuss the odd things that Men believe about elves.
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Arwen
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 886 Read Count: 1321
[Report This] Published: 10/05/06 Updated: 10/05/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 08/12/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is my second time reading this witty story. I love the view of these two heroines it gives (especially Eowyn's pregnant munchies). The best part of the joke is that Arwen herself originated the myth that elves are allergic to iron.

Author's Response: thanks!

Summary: Crossover: lotr / Norse mythology / fanfic authors.
Categories: Crossovers
Characters: Legolas
Genres: Humor
Warnings: Torture
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1268 Read Count: 1078
[Report This] Published: 13/05/06 Updated: 13/05/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 14/05/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Cave of Abandoned Stories

An excellent contribution to the over-myth, and you used the Legolas-Gimli friendship very charmingly.

RS

Author's Response: Thanks Ria!

Hand in Marriage by gythia Rated: G [Reviews - 5]
Summary: Galadriel/Celeborn het erotica, non-graphic. Set after the end of the War of the Ring.
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Celeborn, Galadriel
Genres: Erotica
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1190 Read Count: 1557
[Report This] Published: 17/05/06 Updated: 17/05/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 15/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: Hand in Marriage

Very nice picture of their relationship! There would be fascinating power issues between them, wouldn't there? I've always liked the throwaway tragedy of Celeborn's last line in the Lord of the Rings, and you addressed it excellently.

Author's Response: thanks! So glad you liked it!

Eternal Farewell by Eariel Rated: G [Reviews - 1]
Summary: The War against Sauron is over and the heir of Isildur has been rightfully crowned as the King of Gondor and Arnor. Two hands are finally joined in marriage...and the time of the departure of the Elves approaches. How will father and daughter say their farewells - their eternal farewells?
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Arwen, Elrond
Genres: Angst
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 3114 Read Count: 2701
[Report This] Published: 20/05/06 Updated: 20/05/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 30/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: Eternal Farewell

Yes, that passage in Return of the King is very tempting. I like the way you handled it -- it is a terribly sad scene, but not awash in angst-for-angst's sake.

Summary: A beautiful stranger from the U.S. enters Middle Earth. With hair and eye color that changes with the seasons and a smorgasbord of special powers, the only thing we can say is "Add to Favorites!"

COMPLETE
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Legolas, Original Character, The Fellowship
Genres: Humor, Parody, Romance
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2903 Read Count: 3549
[Report This] Published: 20/06/06 Updated: 21/06/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 17/05/07 Title: Chapter 3: Scene Three

That was perfect in tone and length, and I loved all the deliberate inconsistencies. I felt bad for Notice-Everything Reader, though. Will she recover?

Summary: Sauron's quite return has blown Gondor into wonder and worriement so many ranger patrols have been sent out but soon , Haramir son of Darlond, discovers an orc party that seem like a spie party which ultimately leads to a chain of events that set Middle-Earth into a clamactic war of which has never seen before!
Categories: Book-verse, Crossovers
Characters: Aragorn, Aragorn, Legolas, Legolas, Merry, Merry, Orcs/Uruk-Hai, Orcs/Uruk-Hai, Original Character, Original Character, Pippin, Pippin, Sam, Sam, Saruman, Saruman, Sauron, Sauron, Treebeard, Treebeard
Genres: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Tragedy
Warnings: Character Death
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 2200 Read Count: 2940
[Report This] Published: 23/06/06 Updated: 23/07/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 14/10/06 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter Seventeen

You have a nice touch with the characters.

RS

Author's Response: Thank you so much !I am hoping to post quite a long series about the same characters here.

Summary: A lovely romance that totally makes sense and definitely could have happened.
Categories: Lord of the Rings Slash
Characters: The Fellowship
Genres: Parody
Warnings: AU (alternate universe), Slash (same sex pairing)
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 1254 Read Count: 4004
[Report This] Published: 04/07/06 Updated: 04/07/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 04/10/06 Title: Chapter 2: Chess

Hehehe. I particularly like the authorial inserts ("**He then goes on to describe how Chess Is Like A Battle. This is sexy. However, it goes on for longer than we thought, and we scroll down past it.**")
RS

Author's Response: haha thanks...i totally know how it feels to click on a romance fic and there be like a TON of explanations and descriptions, and you skip past them to get to the good stuff lol

Summary: The Fellowship gained an important ally on their way through Moria ... but there was a price!
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: The Fellowship
Genres: Humor, Parody
Warnings: AU (alternate universe), Character Death
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1020 Read Count: 1138
[Report This] Published: 14/07/06 Updated: 14/07/06
Reviewer: Ria Signed
Date: 30/09/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That is funny. I like how you included the movie version of Scary!Galadriel, and the Sue-like changing eye colors of Movie Legolas (which continuity gaffe always irks me).