Haha, good one.
Author's Response: thanks. ^__^
The answer to your question: It is because they're Mary-Sues. Interesting story by the way.
Author's Response: What Question?
Author's Response: Ah i see. Yes i am fully aware that i\'d because they are Mary Sue\'s, I was actually wondering what the constant attraction towards the same old character was. Personally, I like Orlando, but i do get sick of hearing about his bluer than blue perfect eyes.
I don't think the phrase "Amin hiraetha" is proper Tolkien Elvish. That and I'm fairly sure there is no wording that means exactly the same as "I'm sorry", the closest to that is "Goheno nin" which means "forgive me".
I really don't mean to be rude, but I don't want a story, probably one of the best Girl-goes-to-ME stories I've seen, to become as low as those try-hard Mary-Sue tales I've read.
Keep up the great work! And methinks the berries have something to do with nose bleeds... :D
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. You have not gotten yet to Chapter nine. This is my explanation in the author\'s notes of that chapter: \"Please note the Elvish phrases are translated at the end of the chapter. Although its likely most elves in this time period converse in Sindarin, Tolkien did not provide a great deal of Sindarin words in his writings. [most of the Elvish in The Silmarillion is Quenya] The Elvish I use is from various websites and has been expanded upon with Quenya and there may be terms from the movies, videogames and other fantasy sources. I do not claim accuracy; its just a story after all.\"
There is even controversy among scholars of Elvish as to whether \"thank you\" should be written hannon le or le hannon. Unfortunately, I am not a linguist as Professor Tolkien was. I am just an old soldier who writes fanfiction.
Perhaps I should have put this disclaimer in earlier. Check out the website, cited at the end of the chapter, that\'s where I\'m getting most of the Elvish phrases from. In addition, there are probably as many ways to ask forgiveness in Elvish as there are in English.
I\'m glad you are enjoying the story for the most part, the mystery of the berries will be revealed. Keep reading! 8-)
Author's Response: Oh, and please let me know if you run across anything else that is inconsistent. I welcome ALL forms of feedback.
A good site for proper Tolkien Elvish would be CouncilofElrond. Arwen-Undomiel tends to use what us Tolkien fans call "Grelvish", its not actualy Elvish, but rather a mix of poorly made Sindarin and Quenya, modern languages and jibberish. Again, I really don't mean to be rude, I just want to help!
Author's Response: I appreciate it. The following is quoted from http://www.omniglot.com/writing/tengwar.htm :
\"J.R.R. Tolkien created many languages throughout his life. He wrote in one of his letters that the tales of Middle-earth (The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, etc) grew from these languages, rather than the languages being created for use in the stories.
Tolkien also created a number of different alphabets to write his languages - Tengwar, or Feanorian letters, is the one which appears most frequently in his work. The way the vowels are indicated in Tengwar resembles Tibetan and other Brahmi-derived scripts.
[Tengwar can be] Used to write a number of different languages of Middle-Earth, such as:
Quenya, Qenya or High-Elven, the most prominent language of the Amanya branch of the Elvish language family. Tolkien compiled the \"Qenya Lexicon\", his first list of Elvish words, in 1915 at the age of 23 and continued to refine the language throughout his life. It is based mainly on Finnish, but also partly on Greek and partly on Latin.
Sindarin, the language of the Grey-elves or Sindar. Tolkien based Sindarin on Welsh and originally called it gnomish.
Sylvan, Westron, etc
Tengwar can also be used to write English, Welsh, Scottish Gaelic, Swedish, Polish, Esperanto [another invented language] and a variety of other languages.\"
As with ancient latin, when a word that is not found in the original texts is required, one can use the original grammatical rules to create new \"modernized\" words. I\'m not saying that I did so, as I said, I\'m not a linguist, but barring actually researching the original Qenya Lexicon, I have to go with what I can find. Is there a reason you believe \"Councilof Elrond\" to be more accurate than \"TheGreyCompany\"? I would very much like to know why.
Finally, I am definitely interested in your perspective, but please refrain from referring to other writers\'s styles negatively in my review section. It is neither informative, nor helpful.