A lot of the concepts here are very good, and rare finds in the stuff I've read. Loved it!
I've read this a couple of times, and the only part I don't like is the reference to Celebrian; Arwen, Elladan, and Elrohir's mother. Tolkien explains in Fellowship that she was "torment[ed] in the dens of the orcs." I know it's a small detail, but it changes the mood a little. Other than that, I LOVE it.
Very creative; enjoyed the pieces about SARUMAN, THEODEN, and EOWYN units. Certailny sounds like it was fun to write.
Continue to other chapters until it is completed. You have a very good start as far as plot is concerned, but the language, especially the dialogue, is too informal and modern. *Tolkien's style of archaic words works for a reason*- but that's just how I like LOTR, other people like modern dialogue.
You have the whole story set up very nicely, so run with it!
Author's Response: Hey, I don\'t know if you will keep reading the story, which I have just finished, but here\'s something you should know: I totally agree with you on the too informal language stuff. I\'m sorry for that. I too admire Tolkien\'s work, and I understand why the formal language works, and I confess I like it this way, and I wish I could write it this way. Unfortuntately, I don\'t have intimacy with that. First of all, I\'m from Brazil, I\'m not english speaking, so I do have difficulties with the language already. Plus, I have not read the books, only the movies. Then, I write BSB slash, not LOTRs slash. I decided to write this one because of an insistent dream I kept having. And I\'m glad I decided to write it and share this story with people. The response has been great! And I understand that I should learn how to write in the more formal Tolkien way, but honestly, I don\'t think I\'ll be ever writing LOTRs fics again (though I will definitely continue reading them), so I didn\'t really think it was necessary. Thanks for the review!!
OMG...this took me forever, but it was worth it. I especially love the development of Elrond's character...call me nuts, but he's, like, my favorite.
Oh my gosh,,,this is HILARIOUS!
Very nice, and refreshing to read after the piles of slash fiction. They're two of my favorite characters.
Author's Response: thanks!
It is a good start, and one that I like.
There is an old rule of writing, in any form: show, don't tell. Telling usually involves the verb "to be" and its conjugates. Someone telling me a story is not the same as being there—the same is true of reading. The best books I have read are those that made me forget that the author was trying to tell me a story. I became a part of the story, and the story became a part of me.
There are a lot of things that readers can relate to in this, but it sounds a little expository to me.
Do please keep the iine, "To hell with California. I'm going home."
I love that you've created a multi-dimensional character for Eomer (and one with flaws...bravo!). SO many people turn the men in these into flawless phantoms. It's refreshing to see a change.
OMG Monty Python! I laughed so hard I cried.
Author's Response: I\'m really glad. That you liked it that much, that is. Thank you so much for reviewing! ^__^
Certainly an interesting twist on Eomer, and not one that I would hve expected. I did expect it of Aragorn though, but in a good way.
Author's Response: Thanks. I just wondered whether the heritage-y and part-elven royalty of Dol Amroth would be somewhat intimidating.
OMG...THANK YOU for getting the bit about Celebrian right. And I LOVE the characterization of Elrond (my favorite elf, by the way). Seriously outstanding job!
Author's Response: Thanks a lot!!
A worthy name, but have you written stories about the Celestials yet?
Author's Response: No, not yet. I\'ve actually never thought about writing a story about them...\r\nYeah! Another story idea! I\'ll look into that...
Very nice. I like the end reference to Celeborn and Galadriel's history—it might encourage more people to read Tolkien's other work.
Author's Response: Thanks. I had to go back and reread a little myself to write it, since I'm not as familiar as I ought to be.