This is such a beautifully written beginning. I found no grammar mistakes, this piece seems impeccable!
I look forward to an update!
Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you will enjoy the other chapters as well.
hmm. This is an interesting bit of poem. You paint a very good mind picture, complete with mental agony. Good job.
Heh. That's a cute story behind your name. Misunderstandings can be so funny at times. NZ
Author's Response: Yeah, they lead to the best things (sometimes) ever! :-) meerkatalex
You've got a very interesting writing style: On the one hand, it is very formal, almost as much as Tolkien himself, but at the same time more modern. I'm interested to see where this story is headed. It's always suspicious when a new person just drops out of the middle of nowhere. :) I think one area you could improve on is not assume that the reader already has read the books. I, for one have, but not everyone does, and the mark of a good author is one that can explain the original story, not just elaborate on it. Barring that, this looks very interesting, and I wish you happy writing.
Author's Response: Yes, my friends and family think I'm too formal to be normal! :-) I totally forgot about people who had not read the books, and I'm extremely sorry about that! When I have a moment I will update this and take your constructive critisism into account! Thank you! meerkatalex
It's simple, which is nice. It might be a little more satisfying to read if it weren't in freeverse format. (Not denying freeform isn't fun, but sometimes a poem will benefit from rhyming). Overall, my first impression was favorable, and it slightly reminded me of the Raven by Poe. Practice makes perfect. NZ
Author's Response: Thank you for your reviews! They are lovely and full of tips and hints and constructive critisism, which is very helpful! Good luck in your own writing! meerkatalex