Your first two senstences of 'A chance encounter' threw me off becasue they could have been better. The second sentence introduces only one semi-new idea to the reader: "constant" and the rest of it is just synopszing the first sentence. Also, though it is much shorter the first sentence, the 2nd repeats the first in that it changes "served to calm" to "helped to calm." Try 'soothe' or 'mollify' or 'assuage' instead of 'calm' twice and change up the syntax of (some word related to causation)-ed + infinitive. Try just directly saying calmed/soothed/mollified/whatever you decide.
I heart (
Author's Response: I glad. Thank you so much for reviewing! ^__^
The power of positive thinking...
I think your poem is one of the nicest things you can do for anyone(I'm guessing you've read this to the poor kid.) Such a few words can really make a difference, especially for little kids, as they wouldn't have possibly the idea that the first eight years of a person's life "reaps" less than a following eight, and quite possibly I think there might not be a difference, anyways.
Regarless of the existance of innate ideas (or lack therof) and the purity of children's thought, your poem would make for an excelent birthday card to other children in the same situation.
Author's Response: Actually I haven\'t read it to him. he lives two hours away so i\'m just sending him a card. i\'m not even sure he\'ll understand it because he\'s french. oh well. And yeah, I should give other kids birthday cards like that. thanx for the idea and review! iggybaby