Penname: Camwyn [Contact] Real name: J. McGeary
Member Since: 14/10/04
Membership status: Member
Bio:
Er. I'm not really sure what to put here... I'm thirty, I've been exposed to Tolkien since I was maybe five (the cartoon version of the Hobbit started it all rolling), and I'm quite fond of really good fanfiction. Also, I wrote the One Thousand Word Silmarillion, which seems to be how most people know me, if they know me at all...
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Reviews by Camwyn
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Summary:
Categories: Orphan
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Series: Into the West
Chapters: 0 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 0 Read Count: 0
[Report This] Published: 01/01/70 Updated: 01/01/70
Reviewer: Camwyn Signed
Date: 22/10/04 Title: None

Hmm. All right, where do I begin... First of all, the prospect of Legolas having siblings is an interesting one. Granted, most of the LOTR elves who have siblings make it abundantly clear very early on, but there's always the possibility that this is because their brothers and sisters are present. Since Legolas came to Rivendell alone as a diplomatic representative from Thranduil, I guess there's room for brothers. I don't believe I've seen anyone else attempt that in fanfiction before, so that's a nice fresh angle. The names, though, could use a bit of touching up. Haldof sounds like something I could easily see in LOTR- but in *Rohan*. It really sounds much more like something that the Rohirrim would name a kid- it's got too much of an old English feel to be really Elven. Tarnil isn't half bad, but Galamed... er. You might want to change that. It sounds like something you should be asking your doctor about, I"m afraid. The place-names have a bit too much of an Earthly ring, too. 'Veridis' and 'Crassus' are rather closer to Latin vocabulary words than I think you really wanted- Tolkien was a linguist, yes, but he didn't generally come down *that* close to real-world languages in his place names. It's a little distracting. Overall I think there's some nice potential here, but you might want to rework those names, like I said. You may also want to be a little less obvious about Haldof's temperament. If he's hasty and impetuous and hot-tempered, show it in his actions and words. Don't come out and say it in the narration- when you said 'Haldof grew hot. He did not like being second judged.', it seemed like you were restating the obvious. Trust your characters; if you give them the right dialogue and right reactions, people will understand what you're trying to say without having to be told.

Summary: A young Dorwinion woman and her uncle travel north from the inland sea of Rhun to Esgaroth seeking employment at the Elfking Thranduil's new vineyard.
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Thranduil
Genres: Romance
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 50 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 177985 Read Count: 38408
[Report This] Published: 21/10/04 Updated: 15/04/05
Reviewer: Camwyn Signed
Date: 23/10/04 Title: Chapter 9: Cloudburst

I don't think I've ever seen anyone bother with fanfic that goes this deeply into the period between The Hobbit and LOTR before. I have to say, I'm absolutely fascinated- both by the main character and by the wealth of detail you put in. This is a lovely, leisurely piece of work, and I can't wait to see how your heroine fares next.