Penname: elf pimp [Contact] Real name: Bird
Member Since: 19/11/04
Membership status: Member
Bio:
HI! I'm Bird, and I just adore snoggin' elves.

And this is my lovely co-author Kath...:D

We are known as the demonic duo to our muses. And you will soon see why...;)

I, Bird, have quite a number of muses -
Haldir and Urewe (who is an Avari; Hot One in Quenya) are my main two muses, with Ingwe and Olwe.

Kath's muses are Legolas and Lancedhil (Naked Elf; a warden in Lorien), so far...;)

We love to torment our elves, and take advantage of every pervy or goofy, and sometimes serious, plot bunny with sharp pointy teeth that hops our way...
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Reviews by elf pimp
by Rated: [Reviews - ]
Summary:
Categories: Orphan
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Series: Into the West
Chapters: 0 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 0 Read Count: 0
[Report This] Published: 01/01/70 Updated: 01/01/70
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 02/12/04 Title: None

*pounces Emmess* Woohoo! Um...you already know how I feel...:P Haldir: *rolls eyes* Yeah...I know too, you are so friggin' touchy feely... Bird: only with you babe...:D

Author's Response: *pounces Bird back* thanks for reviewing, Bird! Haldir...you're a fine one to talk...didn't I see you bawl like at baby during Ol' Yeller?

Summary: Legolas gets laid! Peep through some tent flaps in Dunharrow and watch the Prince of Mirkwood lose his virginity (and then some!) Complete and utter smut! Het,OFC, oral, PWP, very NC17
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Legolas
Genres: Erotica
Warnings: Graphic Sex
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 5851 Read Count: 16480
[Report This] Published: 10/10/04 Updated: 14/10/04
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 22/11/04 Title: Chapter 3: The Next Morning

This is very hot...:D But I keep on imaging Aragorn and Gimli outside of the tent listening in on everything...;) That would have beeen funny the next morning...heheheheh...anyway...loved it...:D

Author's Response: *giggling* Oh, now that IS naughty! ;-)

by Rated: [Reviews - ]
Summary:
Categories: Orphan
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Series: Into the West
Chapters: 0 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 0 Read Count: 0
[Report This] Published: 01/01/70 Updated: 01/01/70
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 06/12/04 Title: None

YO! You already know how much I love this story...now for the pokes to finish it...Haldir, get out DOD and poke Kath till she finishes this one...

Fun With Elves by Nephthys Rated: NC-17 [Reviews - 5]
Summary: What happens when two amorous elves pay a late night visit to a mutual friend. Complete and utter smut set in the 21st century. Het, oral, PWP, very NC17, threesome, anal
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Legolas, Haldir
Genres: Erotica
Warnings: Graphic Sex
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 6369 Read Count: 15721
[Report This] Published: 29/10/04 Updated: 17/11/04
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 22/11/04 Title: Chapter 3: Under My Thumb

alright *inserts self into story* I think i can handle that...:D Very hot...:D Bird

Author's Response: Those two (Legolas and Haldir) are great, aren't they? I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Summary: Legolas and a childhood friend are paired on a scouting mission for Elrond before The Ring heads south. Will they ever admit to their mutual desire or drive each other crazy trying to deny their attraction? Het, OFC, solo, oral, NC17
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Legolas, Original Character
Genres: Romance, Action/Adventure
Warnings: Graphic Sex
Series: None
Chapters: 27 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 38401 Read Count: 58285
[Report This] Published: 01/11/04 Updated: 08/01/05
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 22/11/04 Title: Chapter 14: A Vision of the Future?

My lord! YES! MORE! This is a fabulous story and I want to know what happens in the end! I give this two thumbs up! (Love the tension releasing scenes...;)

Author's Response: Thank you, elf pimp! I'm glad you like it and find the tension believeable. Poor Legolas has to take care of his tension somehow!

Green by Khylaren Rated: NC-17 [Reviews - 2]
Summary: Erestor sees Thranduil. Thranduil sees Erestor.
Categories: Lord of the Rings Slash
Characters: Erestor, Thranduil
Genres: Romance, Angst, Erotica
Warnings: Slash (same sex pairing), Graphic Sex
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2893 Read Count: 1694
[Report This] Published: 19/11/04 Updated: 19/11/04
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 16/01/05 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

this is WONDERFUL...the pairing of erestor and thranduil is such a unique one, and delicious! - Bird

Escape by Khylaren Rated: NC-17 [Reviews - 7]
Summary: A battered housewife finds a hero in Haldir.
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Haldir, Original Character
Genres: Romance, Drama, Angst, Erotica
Warnings: Graphic Sex
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 3628 Read Count: 2428
[Report This] Published: 19/11/04 Updated: 19/11/04
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 05/12/04 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I read this one so long ago at OEAM but didn't know how to comment, so here I am now! WOW...this one still is as touching as it was before...Very much tugs at my heart. Bastard, and now she is forever safe! - Bird

Author's Response: Thank you. I appreciate that more than you know!

Lost by Khylaren Rated: NC-17 [Reviews - 24]
Summary: HET and SLASH: Erin Smith goes camping in the wilderness of the Olympic National park, and wakes up on the plains of Rohan, meeting Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas as they track the Uruk-Hai. Is she there for a reason, or did the Valar play a cruel prank?
Categories: Movie-verse, Lord of the Rings Slash
Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Celeborn, Elladan, Elrohir, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf / Olorin, Gimli, Haldir, Legolas, Original Character, Orophin, Other, Pippin, Sam
Genres: Action/Adventure, Erotica, Humor, Romance
Warnings: AU (alternate universe), Graphic Sex, Slash (same sex pairing)
Series: None
Chapters: 14 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 106626 Read Count: 22418
[Report This] Published: 19/11/04 Updated: 30/11/04
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 21/11/04 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

oh my...this is a lovely story and is keeping me on the edge of my seat! I anticipate your next chapter eagerly! Bird

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm delighted you're enjoying it. I now have the remaining chapters posted. ~Khylaren

Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 05/12/04 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

YES! Okay...I truly adore this story...:D Now off to read the next chapter...:D

Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 05/12/04 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

oh no...Rumil is staying through the night to snuggle...this does not bode well for emotional distant! LOVERLY Chapter! On to the next

Author's Response: Thank you! I have a soft spot for Rumil.

Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 05/12/04 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

This is a most enthralling story, and i am loving every word of it...:D

Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 05/12/04 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 - Final

*wipes away a tear* *sniffs* I loved this story! I cannot wait for whatever you have planned for her next! *sniffles again* Hmmm...do we see Rumil and Orophin again...? Just for fun of course...;) Anyway...lovely! - Bird

Author's Response: Thank you for all your kind reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 06/12/04 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

"Got any sisters?" My favorite line in the whole story! :D Too funny, too cute...:D - Bird

Found by Khylaren Rated: R [Reviews - 7]
Summary: Sequel to Lost. HET and SLASH. Erin has made her choice. Can she live with it and find happiness in the middle of a war?
Categories: Movie-verse, Lord of the Rings Slash
Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Celeborn, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf / Olorin, Gimli, Haldir, Legolas, Original Character, Orophin, Other, Pippin, Sam
Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Erotica, Humor, Romance
Warnings: Slash (same sex pairing)
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 75062 Read Count: 17670
[Report This] Published: 05/12/04 Updated: 24/09/05
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 07/12/04 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

YES! The sequel! I cannot wait for your updates...:D I am interested in finding out what you have in store for Elladan and Eowyn...that is a pair I would have never even consider...a refreshing surprise! - bird

Summary: All you ever needed (but perhaps didn't want) to know about GRÍMA WORMTONGUE! This Guide has been said to be more reliable than a Palantír!

Voted best Humor/Parody at the Flame of Anor Awards 2006.
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: None
Genres: Humor, Parody
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1796 Read Count: 5620
[Report This] Published: 06/12/04 Updated: 06/12/04
Reviewer: elf pimp Signed
Date: 07/12/04 Title: Chapter 1: The Owner's Guide

snortsss...this is too funny! Love it...-Bird