Penname: Talking Tree [Contact] Real name:
Member Since: 07/02/08
Membership status: Member
Bio:
Hey. Yeah well this is me. Right now I'm the newest member... that's cool... I suppose. *searches for something to say* *finds nothing* Okay.. I guess I'll just stop now before I embarass myself. Actually its probably too late for that. Um... Goodbye.

P.S. Hi Enigma! *waves crazily*

Oh. Thats how it is, eh? Well then.

If you are wondering I've just discovered that I'm not the newest member anymore... *sigh* I feel so insignificant. Meh.. life goes on... I suppose...
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Reviews by Talking Tree
Summary: The title says it all. I need to give my cousin, Lisa credit. She helped me put this together.
Categories: Off Topic
Characters: Gimli, Legolas
Genres: Parody
Warnings: None
Series: The 10 songs/dances etc That Would Confuse/Scare etc the LOTR Characters
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 219 Read Count: 3810
[Report This] Published: 01/02/06 Updated: 01/02/06
Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 01/03/08 Title: Chapter 1: Funny List

I LOVE IT!
Okay, note to self; If ever I happen to find myself in Middle Earth, DO THESE!
Legend. Pure legend.

Summary: A response to Faramiriel's Culinary challenge. Faramir ATTEMPTS to teach Eowyn how to cook. Disaster ensues!!!
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Aragorn, Faramir
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1557 Read Count: 2282
[Report This] Published: 03/01/07 Updated: 03/01/07
Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 07/02/08 Title: Chapter 1: Mission: Traumatise

It kinda reminds me of my own culinary disasters as I've recently discovered that i actually CAN'T BOIL AN EGG! Apparently "anyone with half a brain can do it!" and its "sooo easy!". Well, not for Talking Tree it isin't! Oh, anyway; cool fanfiction! I like it!

Author's Response: Haha. You\'re better than me, actually. I don\'t even KNOW how to boil an egg. Thank goodness I\'m still in my early teens. I\'d starve!

Summary: A one-shot I did in one-shot, in fact precisely four minutes and thirtythree seconds. It's how I imagined the Battle for Middle Earth might have went. Please excuse allusions to books you feel may already exist. This is entirely coincidental... yeah.
Categories: Off Topic
Characters: None
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 1293 Read Count: 2840
[Report This] Published: 28/01/07 Updated: 28/01/07
Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 07/02/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Um.. I thought it was... interesting...*nervous giggle* Nah, I'm only messing with ya! That fanfiction rocked harder than the Mines of Moria! And I mean that from the bottom of the little, gnarled clump of semi-decayed branches that is my heart. Rock on!

Summary: What happened before my previously-posted story, Estel and his Ada. Estel's plight is unfortunately similar to my own - the title should be self-explanatory...
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Aragorn, Elrond
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Series: The Estel Predicaments
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 948 Read Count: 1554
[Report This] Published: 26/02/07 Updated: 26/02/07
Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 07/02/08 Title: Chapter 1: Poor Estel!

Ah bless! That is so cute and absolutely HILARIOUS! You are a gifted writer, my friend! Jaze, I'm still laughing even now. That was just- just brilliant! I loved it!

Author's Response: thank you so much, it really means a lot to me =)

A World Apart by Enigma Rated: PG-13 [Reviews - 37]
Summary: Two non-Sues end up in ME. Panic ensues, and Middle Earth is doomed.
Aoife is paranoid that she has OCD. Paula is as lazy as heck. Aoife’s a klutz. Paula’s a dreamer. Aoife is a hypochondriac. Best friends. Sisters in all but blood.
LOTR freaks.
But not so much that they’ve memorized every single line and Elvish phrase (well, not Paula anyway) but that they find the eye-candy . . . irresistible.
And when they find themselves in Middle Earth by some unforeseen twist of events, with massive concussions (Aoife is sure) things begin to get a little . . . out of hand.
Both will learn things about each other they never knew, never thought of . . . maybe they never wanted to know . . .
It’s not going to be easy. It’s definitely not going to be pretty. But it’s going to be one heck of a ride, and who knows what could happen next . . .
Categories: Movie-verse, Crossovers
Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Balrog, Boromir, Faramir, Frodo, Gandalf / Olorin, Gimli, Haldir, Legolas, Merry, Original Character, Pippin, Sam, Saruman, Sauron, The Fellowship
Genres: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, General, Humor, Other, Parody
Warnings: AU (alternate universe), First Draft, Violence
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 41450 Read Count: 23195
[Report This] Published: 20/01/08 Updated: 09/04/08
Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 24/07/08 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 - Tough choices - religion or hypothermia?

YAY!! YOU FINALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER!!! *joins in happy dance*

I think I've already read this chapter but still: I like it! Whoop!

And my favourite quote of the chapter?

'I’m not exactly the healthiest person you know, now, am I? I mean, traipsing up this mountain could kill me!’
Paula examined her a moment, before placing a hand on her arm.
‘That’s a chance I am willing to take.’

Haha! Classic! Lol!

Those two Irish gals most fol-ish and fook-ish! Ha ha ha!

Lotsa love and gra and meas and all that jazz . . .

Your bud,
'Tree

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 24/07/08 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 - Tough choices - religion or hypothermia?

Ooh! Looky!

I DID already review this chapter!

Oh well! Ha ha!

CrAAzy FOOK!!

Ha Ha!

Schwah! *poofs out*

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 08/02/08 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 - Hi!!! . . . in the sky . . .

Hey Enigma. I just wrote a massive long review basically attacking the portrayal of Paula in your ff but -lucky for you- I lost it. I will inform you about it at a later date. Good day.

P.S. Really it wasn't all bad... a least it was funny.

Author's Response: Hey Talking Tree. If you have any qualms about the portrayel of one of my fantabulous characters, I would be glad to hear it. It wasn\'t lucky for me. Bring it, sister. And please, please do inform me of it at a later date. I await with baited breath. Truly. Good day to you, too, sir, or madam. Adieu.\r\n\r\nP.S Neither is your face . . . and ditto!!

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 11/02/08 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 - The Sue Patrol . . . can we get matching T-shirts?

Hi! (you:agh! not that betch!) me: oh sea! I'm back at ya betch! Get used to it! you:*runs away! but not very far because hockey-player, athletics-girl Talking Tree rugby-tackles Enigma to ground* (me: Whoop! Rugby rocks! I love rugby players! *tackle-glomps Andrew Trimble*

Um.. anyway moving swiftly onwards! Thanks you very much for fixing Paula so she now resembles a human being as opposed to some weirdo passive side-kick. ...OK, sorry thats a bit harsh! But what I forgot to mention on the other review (if you can even call it that!) is that I freakin' love this ff! Is e an sceal is fearr ar an idirlion go leor! i.e. It rocks!

Gra mor agus slan go foill
Talking Tree
*hugs!*

Author's Response: Hi!! *inches away slowly*
\r\nYou think way too much of yourself, you know, Tree. AND USE CORRECT GRAMMAR, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. And fix your language, you blaggard. This is a public domain.
\r\nBitchiness over. Love you, chick. *whips out sword, flails around, whacking Talking Tree on shoulder, and probably mortally wounding her/leaps up, making Talking Tree remember that this chick did win bronze for Ireland in the Irish Open Judo championships in the under 16 category in 2006. Oh, sea.*
\r\nCan\'t stand rugby players myself, ah well, but to each their own. *swoons over Haldir*
\r\nYeah, well, don\'t sound so happy about it. That chick needed fixing. *readies spork with leer* And she\'s still the passive side-kick. MY fan fiction. I deal out the characters roles. Just because you think she\'s cool because she plays hockey . . . I knew that was a bad idea at the time, you know that? Because you\'d be all like: OOH!! I can relate to her!! BE NICE TO HER!!!
\r\nStill. Go raibh maith agat. I\'m glad yo love it, because, seriously, I was really sure you hated it. No, chreid no na chreid e. Cead mile maith agat.

\r\nAww!! Gra mor freisin!!
\r\n\'Nigma

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 16/02/08 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 - TACKLE-GLOMP!! - Happy Valentines!

WHOOP! TACKLE-GLOMP! You go, Paula! Seriously, fair play to that girl! Alright, I admit that Andrew Trimble is far from the hottest guy in the world but that was a damn good try! Actually, Ronan O'Gara should get the credit but he's old (well, older than Andy anyway!) and Trimble looks a lot hotter on the rugby pitch than in that photo! And he's fit! Really fit! (Though not as fit as Wenty! *sigh*) And yes, I have just spent this whole review making myself sound like some crazed rugger-hugger, which I am not! No really, I'm not!
Anyway, moving away from the subject of rugby players, this chapter is as fantazmical as always. And it's hilarious!
Overall, me likey muchly, muchly. Kudos to you Eniggie, old chum!
Merry Valentines to all! (Even though I do believe that its the biggest scam of a feast day ever! And its already over!)
But merry Valentines to all anyway!

Author's Response: Indeed, much fair-play to that chick. THANK YOU! Andrew Trimble . . . *shudders*
Who is this Ronan O\'Gara you speak of? I must google . . .
*Fifteen seconds later* OH, SWEET JESUS!! Bleurgh!
Ha ha. Yep, you crazed rugger-hugger. Hey you already own Abercrombie . . . next will be Uggs . . . Jeez, way to abandon the Emo Nation.
Not that I\'m a member of it, or anything.
Aha! Well, thanks a bundle. Tut tut! Shameless flattery will most likely make you my favourite person.
Oh, and Tree? Don\'t . . . call me Eniggie. That\'s just odd.
And merry Valentines to you too, old fellow Valentinian hater . . . and to all a good night!

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 24/02/08 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 - War Tactics and Pink Fluff

Howaya. This is my third attempt at a review 'coz according to lotrff I'm not authorised to do reviews! Shite.

Author's Response: Good God, Tree, what kind of filth have you been posting to infer the wrath of LOTRF? You sicken me.

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 24/02/08 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 - War Tactics and Pink Fluff

Omg! That worked! Cool! I have to go now so here's just a hasty sumary of my previous two failed reviews;

Aoife's veering towards Sueishness.
Paula's a lej.

Lotsa luv,
the one, the only, the legend,
the Tree xxx

Author's Response: Okay, HOW?? TELL ME?? I have been trying soooooooo hard not to make her a Sue, I think I\'m going to cry, and turn emo like Aoife. That\'s it. I\'m in the corner already. And I don\'t think I can talk to you anymore. The D4 fringe will be too distracting. I think I might just die if Aoife is a Sue. Thank you for crushing my tender spirit, Tree. *sobs*
Paula is a legend, I admit. She\'s only a legend because she doesn\'t have to deal with the realistic crap that Aoife does, however. If she had to be logical all the time, she\'s be a Sue too. *le sigh* I think I\'ll go dye my hair black and write some tortured poetry. Hello, emo nation.Br>The one, the only, the depressed
Emigmo

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 03/03/08 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 - Logic, Meet Your Match

Duidin, daidin I bloody love this thing! Really, fado fado in Eireann it must've sucked not to have this FF! Or computers for that matter.. Or TV.. Or electric kettles.. Or toilets...
Okay! Anyway! What can I say? It rocked socks! (Give it socks! lol!) That is THE best song EVER! First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to teach it to everyone I know! And that Sue's death scene; pure legend. Kinda graphic and disgusting but I liked it! Uh-huh, I know thats right!

Can't wait for the next (undoubtly brilliant) enstallment!

Le gra,
the one,
the only,
the lej,
the Talking Tree XxX

Author's Response: RUDA DEAS A CHAILL ME!! Good to know, Tree. Yes, indeed, fado fado in Eireann, it must have sucked. No hot guys who weren\'t, like, farmers, or spud-lovers, either. Not that I have anything against spud lovers, not since we named Sam a lej for his dance-mix.
Ahhh, yes. \"GIVE IT SOCKS, YA PUSSY!\" I\'m quite lovin\' the song myself. I just hope the general awesomeness of it came across written down, though . . .
But Tree, I thought you loved graphic violence and horror? I thought it to be, like, your FAVOURITE thing in the world! Sometimes, Tree . . . tcha, you think you know a person . . .
Awwwwww!! Well, as this review was a far-cry from your lsat one (you fantastic hypocrite, you) I\'ll forgive everything.
Le gra freisin,
The one
The only
The modest (unlike Tree)
Enigma xxx

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 11/03/08 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10 - The Perfect Blend of Humiliation and Comedy

AGH! CAKE! *tackles birthday cake*

I mean... ahem *wipes slodges of cake off face* yes, a very amusing chapter it was indeed! *licks fingers*

Really, do I even have to say what my favourite part was? Meh, I'll tell ya anyway!

Why are you doing this, Legolas? You Know this is your baby!

An absolute classic. Kudos to you. (Well some of the kudos anyway, And you know yourself why!) I do kinda feel sorry for oulde Borry. (Hey, that rhymes! Cool!) Its not really his fault that he's the guy you love to hate. Hang on, it is! Feck you, Boromir!

And total randomness; Peppy thinks Andrew Trimble is hot so ha! In yo face!

Luv ya hon,
the one, the only, the never modest,
the Tree XxX

Author's Response: Yes, well . . . now that you have finished with the feral animalisms, there, Tree . . .
Well, I am most certainly glad you thought so! . . . if you\'re quite finished, now, dear . . .
Ahhh, yes. I\'m quite lovin\' that moment myself.
EXCUSE YOU?? I believe much of the kudos for THAT particular line is due to ME. but I do get you. I just can\'t remember why. You do have your (occasional) flashes of brilliance, Tree. Very occasional.
BORRY?? You can\'t call him Borry. It just doesn\'t work. *snorts* Borry. Wait a minute . . . it does!! ZOMG, SCARY!!
Aww, no! Junior likes Borry. I like Borry. Borry\'s not that bad.
ANDREW TRIMBLE IS NOT HOT!!! SWEET CONFECTIONARY, TREE, HE IS NECK MAN!! Case and point, mate.
Well, love ya too, you little irritatingly brace-less one,
The one,
The only,
The becoming repetitive,
Enigma xxx

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 21/03/08 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11 - Love is a Many Splendid Thing . . . Generally . . .

...*sob* *sob* ..just so... so touching!...*dab at eyes* ..family... *sniff* ..friendship... *blink* ..CHEESE TOASTIES! ...Its just so touching
For having no particular plot and being a bunch of random happenings, that was damn frick'n good!
I loved Paula'a "confession" of her love for old Bory ('cause lets face it he is generally unloved - well apart from Junior that is!) The insult fight (or the Bithchin' Match as I like to call it!) was really funny.
And they're all missing home! Aww bless'em! And at least one of the girls has some buds in the Fellowship!
You're rockin' as always! And your welcome for all the jazz and thanks for the acknowledgements! Its nice to feel appreciated!
The one, the only, the -Ooh! Shiney! *chases shiney*
..eh.. the easily-disracted Tree
xxx

Author's Response: I know. I don\'t even want to know how many packets of Kleenex I went through. Ah well. I must be e-mo . . . ; )
Why, thank you! The next chapter might actually have a plot. SHOCK HORROR GASP!! Enigma has a plot? What an unfathomably terrifying idea!
Well, as Aoife has already stated *tut tut* apparently one just isn\'t good enough for her. Well, his generally unloved state is balanced, I do believe by Junior\'s unconditional love. Kudos to that girl.
yes, those girls do really let fly sometimes, don\'t they? Ah well. They love each other really. But that\'s not what it implies! He he.
Yep, getting a tad homesick, there. Oh well, all will be explained to them soon . . .
Oh God. That just made ME sound like a Sue, right? Sorry folks.
Awww! Thanks chic! Seriously, without all of you guys\' proclaimations of love and encouragement, I\'d . . . I\'d . . . I don\'t know. Join my muses and sanity in Fiji probably. ; ) But as I love you guys too, I think I\'ll remain where I am. And you are very welcome, Tree. Lord knows you deserve it.
Tag-line went a bit hay-wire, there, didn\'t it? Oh well. *hoicks Tree back by the collar*
The one,
The only,
The mildly insanely lovable
Enigma xxx

Reviewer: Talking Tree Signed
Date: 10/04/08 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 - Tough choices - religion or hypothermia?

Ar fheabhas ar fad, ar fad mar ar gnach!
Omg! They got cloaks! Lucky! It seems almost like some unspoken initiation, doesn't it?
And oh yes, the grandour of the Joyce County Ceili Band has made an appearance! I solute you for recognising it tremendous awsomness.
I really feel sorry for poor Aragorn! I mean he seems to be the only one that realises that these two girls could quite possibly be the death of Middle Earth as we know it. He's a nice guy, all he wants is to save the world! So no disrespect to the rockin' two Irsh gals but for that reason I hope Aragorn wins this next "mind war" between him and Aoife.
And the victory might keep him off the verge of suicide.