Members: Frida VI
I liked this story A LOT! Though never into Leggy or Orlando, I really enjoyed the reading. Rowannen was so sweet a wench, you really had me care and feel for her. I can tell that you have one REALLY vivid imagination, it's lovely. All those things... like difference between the people of Rohan and Gondor in so many aspects, the meaning of the braids, the rohirric horse game, rain chambers etc. and above all the prophecy... you know it's so full of hope and meaning it gives me gooseflesh and form knot in my throat everytime I read it over. =;)
I have only one remark and that's about Elvish. It felt somehow extremely jarring in certain moments for me, mostly because of the use of (I daresay) those "whored" phrases that were used in the movies, like "Noro Lim," "Stille nú" or "Dolen i vad o nin" etc. etc. (although I didn't mind that you put the word's of Arwen about path and faltering, for example, into Legolas' mouth at all!). I would rather appreciate some of your own constructions, even if it were flawn... because I just tend to think the "movie lines" are used so often that they lost their magic and readers/movie goers already have them memorized. =:))) Also I don't think there's the necessity to translate everything - let the readers' imagination work. =;)
But... nah, it's just me and I promise it didn't spoil the magic of the story that much for me. This was meant to be just a friendly counsel. =;)
OK, so where to begin... Ah, yes I know...
I got almost fired from my job these past two days, because I simply couldn't do anything else than reading this story. Much to my surprise, because I was never really into Orlando. =:))) This is absolutely INCREIDBLE, one of the very best FanFictions that I've ever laid my eyes on! Just keep it up and update soon, please! =;)
Although I noticed a few spelling errors here and there and, to be honest, the initial Wynter's change, symbolized by the blue top and then Liv's coming into the story seemed a bit too quick to my eyes. But never mind; It doen't cast any shadow on my opinion this is a great story I'm instatnly faving. =;)
Author's Response: Oops! I never imagined I\'d get someone close to getting fired for any of my stories,,, that\'s new! XDD \r\n\r\nAnyway, I\'m really glad you like it, even more so because you\'re not that much into Orlando. That tells me that this story has something special. :D\r\n\r\nThe spelling errors... blame me. English isn\'t my first language and some times, I don\'t detect the spelling errors if the spellchecker fails.\r\n\r\nOh, and I accept your critic on Wynter\'s change. Maybe I did rush things a bit to get them moving... :P The advice will work for any stories I might write in the future. Thank you so much for your comment and constructive criticism! :)\r\n\r\nNadia
For some reason I'm having a hard time finding this funny, although I do appreciate the effort that you put into it and I think it is very well written with rich fantasy and even though I usually enjoy LotR based humor. I just think it's not my cup of tea, but that happens. It caught my eyes simply because I agree to the bits with the statement that it all could have been much worse. =;)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. If you have any suggestions for improvement, though, don\'t hesitate to send them to me.
I liked this a LOT! Very unique idea and very well written, thanks for the story. =:)
Author's Response: Glad ya liked it. I was sitting at a winery with my mum and her partener when i thought this up, dunno what inspired me, must have been something in the hot chocolate i had. Hope ya read the first one too, that one\'s short but possibly a better storyline, even if it is rushed. Anyways, glad ya liked it and thanks for the review - Li
Uf... Let me comment on those points. =;)
1. OK, she did what the script told her. It sounds as the same thing as fretting about Tom Bombadil's absence, about Legolas' "orc-shield skateboard" in Helm's Deep and such... What did you people expect? The team that worked on those movies was a team of high-capacity CREATIVE artists, not just some random "plagiators," which was how the exact book remake would look like. Though I can't say I fancy all their changes, I'm decent enough to respect their decisions for all the other beauty and effort they put to make the characters breathe.
2. Wikipedia: "According to the movie trilogy's official publicity material, Hadhafang once belonged to the Elven princess Idril, who wed a mortal Man (Tuor) and bore Eärendil, the father of Elrond, who in turn was father to Arwen. Before Arwen's birth, Elrond wielded Hadhafang at the end of the Second Age of Middle-earth, during the Last Alliance of Elves and Men in the great battle against Sauron on the slopes of Mount Doom.“
- looks like more individuals need a klepto-therapy then... =;)
3. That's a very discutable statement. Though I agree that it's not the best dress she wears in the movie, I'd personally say the "Farewell dress" she wears when the Fellowhip leaves Rivendell competes in the "Worst dress ranking" very close. =;)
4. Her affection for Aragorn was determined ages before they were both born and therefore so was her choice of mortal life. It's the third union of Elves and Men in all the history and hell it's all full of so forceful ideas it gives me chills. They are one, they are complete; without each other they don't even exist as half of themselves. I don't think we should fret about this relationship just because we are green with envy of it. =;)
Peace, lady, I don’t wish to offend you. I only wanted to share my POV. =:)
Author's Response: Gathered that. I don\'t mind what people have to say and i know this thing needs some twaking but i\'ve never gotten around to it. I\'m dead for words right now, not good. Anyways, thanks for the review - Li
Can I sign this. =;)
Author's Response: I am not quite sure what you mean, but sure?
I merely wanted to say that as I read the words, it felt as if they were coming from my own heart and mind. =:)
Great story, dear. Love the Elvish way you refer to the Sun as "she," which, along with lots of other details, finely shapes the story as a complex. =;) I'm looking forward to the other sequel. =:)
Author's Response: \r\nThanks, I’m glad to know that you enjoyed it!\r\n
I honestly don't know what to say. I've been following this count from the very beginning and I really have to say that I like it very much. Your writing is literally "sucking" me into the story, which I find very pleasing. =:) Keep it up, I'm really worried about the two and I am very much looking forward to your description of the "big meeting" of Aragorn and Arwen. =;)
Author's Response: Thanks for leaving a review, jouzinka! I always like to know what people think of my writing. Honestly, if people don’t review, then I assume that they didn’t like it too much. It’s nice to know that you are enjoying my writing and that you feel drawn into the story.
As you write that you're not pleased with the chapter, I think that I can add my bit to it. =:))) I'd like to see more of an excursion into Elrohir's thoughts after they've left the cave and went to help to destroy the Troll. =;) In my opinion it could add some more depth and meaning to the whole scene. Also, I would have him receive the message about thin air in the cave earlier, during the fight with the Troll, because it actually seems too quick to me...
You see - from the moment Aragorn killed the first Troll who fell and imprisoned him and Elladan in the cave, Aragorn fell unconscious, woke up from that, healed Elladan, fell into hypovolemic shock (IMHO) and Elladan woke from unconsciousness. That's quite a lot of occasions when you compare that Elrohir and Glorfindel had to kill a Troll, rally their companions, shake off the battle events and get to the cave to start working on the stones before Elrohir received the thought from his brother.
There's a misbalance in time if you follow my strange flow of thoughts. =;) Even though I don't doubt that Elrohir and Glorfindel raised the spirits of their warriors, despite the thoughts of Elrohir and the Troll that you revealed, it seems to me that the last one was killed too quickly. =;)
Author's Response: Thanks a lot for your feedback, jouzinka. I understand what you mean about a “misbalance in time,” and, believe me, I do notice that in a story, if events occurring within the timeframe of the story do not seem to make sense or “measure up.” In fact, I did think about this very point when I was writing the chapter. As this chapter was meant to cover roughly the same span of time as the previous chapter, I did think it through to see if it made sense, or at least seemed reasonable, and it did to me. However, if it seemed to your that the last troll was killed too quickly, as I explained to Fanarix in the previous review, I wasn’t terribly keen on having to write another battle scene at all, so perhaps your perceptions are correct! Thanks again for reviewing, it is always appreciated.\r\n\r\n
I agree, this felt so real I felt the pain in my heart. It brought tears to my eyes.
Author's Response: As far as I’m concerned, the greatest compliment that I can receive as a writer is to know that I have been able to move my readers and stir their emotions with my words. Thanks so much for reviewing!
I like this story. To be honest, the idea of Middle Earth and our world being just different dimensions is absolutely AWESOME and I'm jealous that the idea wasn't mine. =:)))
One thing jumps at me in your story, though, and that being the way Thranduil and his men treat Legolas. As if he were still merely an elfling. I realize that Legolas is Thranduil's child and therefore the King can be patronizing, but to my eyes Thranduil is being condescent and demeaning and it would be a wonder if Legolas had grown up in the man I know, with the self-confidence that he has shown. He's a grown man, Thranduil had a few millenia to realize that and start to respect his son as an independent functioning unit, a complete person that he can influence, yes, but not raise anymore.
That's just my two cents. It's not meant to be disrespectful or in anyway means that I don't like the story. I'm enjoying it very much and I will certainly be waiting for more. =:)
Author's Response: Hello jouzinka. It's always nice to hear from a new reviewer. Glad you are enjoying the story so far. I usually don't write modern day mix ups. This is a first for me. I understand you view of Thranduil and Legolas. Perhaps I did not express myself as I would have liked. Thranduil is desperate to close the portals and Legolas is the one to accomplish this. But the king feels his son is getting off the path by befriending our modern girl. He did warn him not to get involved. This is probably why Thranduil might seem to get a little fatherly at times; he just wants him to get the job done already. Of course, there's more to our girl than any of them know yet and it will be revealed soon. Looking back at it now, I might have changed this father/son relationship. I'm still new at this and learning with every story I write. However, that being said, it is fiction and everyone writes differently. I too have read stories that I didn't feel were developing the way I would like to have seen. This was partly the reason I began writing in the first place. Still, I greatly appreciate your 'two cents' and you have made me think about these two. If I wasn't so far into this tale, I might have tried to word things differently. Thanks again for reading and especially for reviewing.
Hi, Moe, thanks for getting back to me. =:)
I see your point - we're all different, we perceive things differently and we picture things differently. What I suggested was my impression and I respect that it might not be yours. I hope I didn't upset you as I'd hate that. =:(
Author's Response: oh not at all. I am not upset in the least. If anything you have helped me to pay better attention to how I express my ideas. Thanks and I hope to hear from you again.
"...Legolas will recognize something and become overwhelmed with emotion *hehe*"
Can you tell patience is not my strongest virtue already? =:)))
Author's Response: It's not easy to be patience when Legolas is involved. But you won't have to wait long my friend.