If you are a follower of my series, Lost Horizons, please note that the next couple of months (minimum absence time is until August) I will be unavailable for comment, updates or beta. I intend to update as soon as I possibly can but I leave you with no promises as to when that will be.
Alright, now you're giving ME nightmares! *shudders* Ugh, those poor poor Middle-earth inhabitants....
Hmmm....interesting beginning, if very short. On to chapter 2!
1: was Gandalf's shout supposed to be "crebain"? Because it only shows an exclamation mark.
2: You changed pronouns in the middle...from "he" to "she". Was that purposeful?
3: On to chapter 3!!!
Well, you could have extended her reaction a little more...maybe a few "open/close mouth" moments, lol. In all, not a bad chapter.
To the next!
ooooh. NEVER go through a girl's things! Bad ranger!
ha! sucking the pony's blood. thats got to give you some odd indigestion when you're used to human blood...
I cannot die, I am immortal. lol. Hmmm....looks like Leggy is doing the opposite of Gandalf's wise words and forming an attachment...
Just a passing beta note: you want to use the word "sulking" for Pippin, not "skulking". the first is the bad mood, the second means hiding, being secretive, that sort of thing.
Author's Response: Thank you!
lol. one sentence! and such a guy thought, too!
lol, it is my pleasure dear to review a good story.
and Gandalf is a sneaky old man, throwing his knowledge at Annabeth like that! Hmph. Bet it threw her off track though!
fiends? i resemble that remark! LOL. yes you put fiends in the first chapter, not friends.
it's cute so far...if i could think of something i'd add to it!
hehehe....oh my twinsies are so cruel....i think that's why i love them so much. cute...(and Legolas really does wear pink and purple nightshirts, he just doesn't want anyone to know)
ME: Shhhh, don't tell Legolas that. He ignored me for 2 days when he read this.
LEGOLAS: Don't tell me what?
ME: Nothing... I mean... I DIDN"T DO IT!
LEGOLAS: Over reacting much?
ME: Hay I don't over react!
LEGOLAS: Ummm.... right. (walks out of room with a really annoying smile on his face)
ME: Sometimes he can be really annoying.
*ahem* I realise you may not know this but...in actual Tolkien Westron speech, Bilbo's name is Bilba, lol...so, that was not much of a change...
Otherwise, I think it's hilarious! Especially the wraith's fighting over who looks nicer with it.
Ai, well, of course Morgoth knows how to finish the bedamned thing, also. He has had how long to figure it out? This is why the only people who can do them are freaks.
What about childproof caps and the stupid cotton stuffed into the aspirin bottles?
But...do you die? By the way, I hate reading cliffies, for all that I love to write them...(hmm, that pun was just as terrible).
Author's Response: I honestly do not know if I die or not, for I woke up. This story was a dream that I had about a week ago that I decided to write and share with the LotR community. But when I woke up, I felt this deathly cold chill. It was very scary but at the same time exciting. I love writing cliffhangers, always so much fun. Your pun wasn’t that bad. Thank you reading, TiraSil.