Penname: atouchofhobbit [Contact] Real name:
Member Since: 17/08/08
Membership status: Member


I dwell in Scotland, a truly fabulous and beautiful country, when you finally get past the concreted-over parts.
I am, of course, a Tolkienite, Ringer, LOTRer, Ringnut, wielder of the LOTR obsession, and so on and so forth. I also have a great fondness for the Discworld and its inhabitants, not to mention the Great A’Tuin and associated pachyderms. (And does anyone know where I can get a homicidal many-legged travelling trunk?) Also, I reckon that The Big Bang Theory is the best sitcom on the face of the Earth, as evidenced by the quotes at the bottom of this bio.
Within Middle-earth canon, I have a particular fondness for First Age mythology, and in fanfiction… well, I’ll read anything that I like the look of, but I love stories that deal with stuff Tolkien didn’t write very much about, like the lands in the east of Middle-earth and/or their peoples, the Second Age, etcetera.
My joint #1 pet hates are patronization and poor spelling. Either one of these will cause me to give myself brain damage by banging my head repeatedly off of the nearest convenient surface.
As for musical tastes, I generally go in for rock or country-and-western. I make little music videos in my head as I’m listening to a song. *chuckle*
I am addicted to The Sims, too, which accounts for a low productivity level on stories. Beware, computer games dull your wits. But they are so cool.
I’m a huge hypochondriac – I get a headache and I’m scared I’ve got a serious brain condition. I also fear the dark (one too many ghost stories) and needles (I can never remember the official name for a fear of needles).
And now I think that’s more than enough about me, possibly straying into TMI territory, so farewell.

– atouchofhobbit

I am on as LOTR_obsessed_loony, but rarely visit there.

“I’m a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.”
“Who’s Radiohead?”
“I have a working knowledge of the important things.”
- Sheldon and Penny, The Big Bang Theory

“You know, it's amazing how many supervillains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.” - Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory

“I weep for the future of science. Now if you’ll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out.” - Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory
Beta-reader: No
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Reviews by atouchofhobbit
Summary: A brief, oneshot thing I wrote when I was feeling incredibly cross with the way things were going on Earth. Not intended to offend anyone. This has nothing to do with LOTR, sorry =)
Categories: Off Topic
Characters: None
Genres: Angst, Horror, Tragedy
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 177 Read Count: 1338
[Report This] Published: 24/09/06 Updated: 24/09/06
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 01/10/08 Title: Chapter 1: One Week

So true. :'(

Summary: There are many diehard Tolkien fans that complain that either Peter Jackson's films destroyed their cherished images of Middle Earth or didn't capture the spirit of Middle Earth. My answer? It could have been a thousand times worse.
Categories: Movie-verse
Characters: Arwen, Bilbo, Bill the Pony, Denethor, Elrond, Eomer, Eowyn, Faramir, Galadriel, Gollum, Gríma, Nazgûl, Orcs/Uruk-Hai, Original Character, Other Canon Character, Sauron, The Fellowship, Théoden, Witch King
Genres: Horror, Parody
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 27966 Read Count: 57359
[Report This] Published: 22/11/06 Updated: 19/04/08
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 17/08/08 Title: Chapter 1: The Power of Friendship

I'm not sure whether to laugh, cry, or lose my lunch. It's fabulous, yet extremely nauseating. (Description of Aragorn sounds really familiar for some reason...)

Author's Response: I admit I got the "hawk-nosed Indian" description from Bakshi's animated version of Aragorn, so that's probably why it seems so familiar.

Summary: A few decades after his defeat on the Isle of Werewolves in the First Age of the Sun, Sauron goes back to Angband and after seeing Morgoth, enters a pub. A rather inquisitive balrog (who is left unnamed because Tolkien never named him *sobs*) starts to chat him up.
Categories: Book Verse Slash
Characters: Balrog, Glorfindel, Orcs/Uruk-Hai, Other, Sauron
Genres: Humor
Warnings: AU (alternate universe), Slash (same sex pairing)
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1985 Read Count: 2322
[Report This] Published: 17/01/07 Updated: 17/01/07
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 20/09/08 Title: Chapter 1: Angband Pub, Second Class

"Mind you, I do not live alone - looking after unlucky Glaurung's little one, Smaug, the poor baby. But he is too young to understand; only understands jewels, that one. Got him a bed of the stuff."

Awww... baby Smaug...

Author's Response: Hehehe. Thank you. I'm so happy you enjoyed this story. It's one of my favourites.

Clara by Ophelia Rated: PG-13 [Reviews - 1]
Summary: A daughter must choose between carrying a crushing secret about her recently deceased sister or saving her parents from further grief.

An off-topic short story I wrote. This one goes with my other short story Vanity, as part of a project to examine different aspects of sibling relationships. Please leave a review and be sure to check out Vanity.
Categories: Off Topic
Characters: None
Genres: Tragedy
Warnings: Character Death
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1601 Read Count: 1224
[Report This] Published: 06/08/07 Updated: 06/08/07
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 25/09/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I wish I could say exactly what I think, but I can't think of words that would do justice to this story. You have amazing talent.

Summary: We all know what happens to Gandalf during the books, but what were his secret thoughts? Read Gandalf's secret diary during his last 20 years in Middle Earth.
Categories: Book-verse, Movie-verse
Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Bilbo, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf / Olorin, Gimli, Gollum, Legolas, Manwe, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Sméagol, The Fellowship, Théoden
Genres: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Humor
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 6491 Read Count: 6502
[Report This] Published: 06/07/08 Updated: 22/05/15
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 29/09/08 Title: Chapter 1: Laughter Floating Over My Shoulder

For the Valar’s sake --*rumble of thunder* -- SORRY!

Haha... Loved it and really hope you get the second chapter up soon!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'll get it up by tommorrow! And there will be refrences to the powers, eventually.

Summary: An off topic poem about entering another world.
Categories: Off Topic
Characters: None
Genres: Fantasy
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 118 Read Count: 1236
[Report This] Published: 09/09/08 Updated: 09/09/08
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 04/10/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I loved this, and have favourited it. I wish I could write like this.
*worships* :D

Author's Response: Thank you so so much!! i'm really touched!

Summary: It all began when Traveller looked at my darling Maedhros the wrong way. Nothing would have happened if she had heeded my threats. In defense, I have assembled what forces were necessary to take on… dun dun dun… KILLER Tooks! That’s right folks—Merry and Pippin have constructed a Trojan Bunny supplied with the deadly Ammo of…Herbal Essences Shampoo Bottles. Witness the battle between Ar-feiniel and Traveller for Lindt’s Chocolate, bragging rights as Ruler of Himring, a free dinner at the Prancing Pony, and Maedhros’ signature.
Categories: Off Topic
Characters: Bilbo, Celegorm, Esmeralda (Took) Brandybuck, Faramir Took, Farmer Maggot, Frodo, Legolas, Maedhros, Merry, Original Character, Paladin Took, Pippin
Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor
Warnings: AU (alternate universe)
Series: None
Chapters: 15 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 18824 Read Count: 13489
[Report This] Published: 04/03/09 Updated: 09/05/09
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 10/05/09 Title: Chapter 1: Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine?

This. Is. Hysterical. Following it faithfully. I've been choking down laughter every few seconds so that I don't get the "What's so funny?" "What are you doing?" grilling. But I digress.
First off - can we please, please have an Ipod scene with Maglor? I just have this very, very vivid image of him warbling along to some of today's rock or pop songs... :)
Second off - Fair is probably the cutest little kid I've ever encountered. I wanna adopt him! - but I doubt Pippin etc. would be very happy about that... maybe I'll adopt Huan instead. :P
And in conclusion... did I mention that this is hysterical?
Lovin' it.
- atouchofhobbit

Summary: A short poem based off of when Gollum finds Frodo and Sam resting by eachother on the Stairs of Cirith Ungol, when he remembers friendship and happier times.
Categories: Book-verse
Characters: Gollum, Sméagol
Genres: Angst, Drama, Poetry
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 243 Read Count: 1334
[Report This] Published: 28/04/09 Updated: 28/04/09
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 03/07/09 Title: Chapter 1: Upon the Stairs

That was great! I always loved that little moment in the books. :')


Bloopers happen, it's a part of the movie-making process. Lord of the Rings, epic as it is, is no exception. Here's a list of humorous sights I've seen during the films!

Categories: Movie-verse, Off Topic
Characters: None
Genres: General, Humor
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 717 Read Count: 1330
[Report This] Published: 05/08/09 Updated: 05/08/09
Reviewer: atouchofhobbit Signed
Date: 05/08/09 Title: Chapter 1: Wait, What?

At Hollin, when the crows are coming, everyone hides while the pony stands outside, alone. Everyone hides, and when the camera zooms, nobody is there. But who hid the pony? Poor Bill.

Haha, yeah, I noticed that one. Maybe he just went behind a big rock?
Hmm. I just had a thought. Is there ever an explanation of where Bill comes from, or does he just appear?

Author's Response:

Yes, actually, there is an explanation of where Bill comes from, but it's in the book. Sam buys Bill the Pony from the pony's abusive master, Bill Ferny, in Bree.

And the big rock is a possibility! I didn't think of that...hmm...

Thanks for the review!