2009 MEFA Third Place Winner in the Adventure Category.
Brandon wakes up in the middle of a forest in another world. Is it a dream? Or is he stuck in an unfamiliar place where his life might no longer matter? Please read and review!
Ohh, so Brandon's beginning to feel the pull of the Ring...a lovely bit of writing there :-)
It was with a smile on his lips and a full stomach that Brandon fell asleep, leaning against the mighty trunk of a tree he'd never seen. His dreams that night were ones of magic and bliss, of golden stars in the pale clouds, of flying, and singing himself into the Nimrodel and down to the sea.
He could not have known that the darkness was stirring as he slept.
I love the contrast between those two paragraphs! Well done.
I'll send you an email about this and Moria soon.
Author's Response: Thank you! I like this chapter best out of the ones I've written so far! I can't wait for your email!
Best chapter yet, I think; my heart's still pounding! Detailed feedback coming up very soon via email.
Author's Response: Okay, thanks!
Another lovely chapter - like Dune, I was really moved by the descriptions of the Fellowship'd grief, and I think you ended on the perfect note, hopeful but not too chirpy. This is turning into a truly engrossing story; keep it up!
PS Sorry I haven't emailed about this one yet; I'll send you longer message in a day or so, but at the moment I'm in the middle of writing a history essay - oh, joy... :p take care and speak soon.
Thanks! This chapter was so tough to write. I was so concentrated on Moria that I didn't really plan what I was going to do next! I was worried about sounding chirpy, your review has brought me a lot of relief.
Good luck with your history essay, I'm sure you'll do well!
I'll have some new chapters up soon. The swine flu has hit my town, and school has been cancelled until next week.
Excellent again! For a second I thought you were going to deviate from the books and have the Orcs find them when Brandon kicked that twig - my heart was in my mouth :-) keep going!
I did almost deviate from the books by having Brandon fall into the Celebrant. However, Moriah listened to my plot ideas and told me to give poor Brandon a break. So I did. I had it all written out but my internet crashed, and Moriah dissuaded me from re-writing it. I'm glad this version was good though! Thanks for the review!
*Mini Plot Spoiler* I may deviate from the books a litte further into the story
Oh, gosh...the tension builds like a thunderstorm in this chapter!! The next one's going to be an A-grade heartbreaker, isn't it? Poor Brandon :-( the internal monologue you give him is really moving and extremely realistic.
Something that jumped out at me was Brandon noticing that the stars and moon are the same as back home. I thought this was a lovely touch - an example of the details you weave into this story that set it so far above the majority of Tenth Walkers.
I posted Ch. thirty-one not too long ago...it just might be an A-grade heartbreaker, I think whether it is or not will ulitimately be up to you :-). I'm glad you liked the monologue, I was afraid it was too over-the-top!
Ah, so you liked that little detail! Yay! Thanks for the review!
Good start! You built up the tension really well when they were near the enemy, and their camaraderie when they realised what had happened was poignantly written. One thing - I think you meant "murmur" not "mummer" when Gandalf's casting his spell, and (sorry) I find it a bit too convenient that he can suddenly bestow all the skills they need upon them; I think it'd be more interesting to watch them learn tracking, archery etc. without supernatural interference. But maybe that's just me.
Other than that, nice work - your writing gets better all the time.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I am glad you liked it, please keep reading! Dune
My dazed grin vanished. “Inconceivable!”
A Princess Bride reference? Or sheer coincidence?
“I’m sorry Strider, but they were just a pack of birds…”
Oh, if only he knew...
For a moment I thought this was turning into a Star Trek crossover, which would have been interesting...and poor Bill! Hope he gets back OK. Well done again, Kitt!
Author's Response: Bill'll be alright. It may not be obvious at first, but I wouldn't want anything to happen him. Oh, yes, Princess Bride! I love that movie. :D Not quite Star Trek crossover. I just sat down to write the chapter after watching some old episodes and... well, that's what came out. Thanks for the review, Narya!
Oh cute! Nice work; I love otters, and Frodo's temper tantrum was funny :)
Author's Response: Yay! More otter lovers exist in the world! Glad you liked it. That will not be Frodo's first tantrum, I'm afraid... : D -Kitt
This is a cute story you have going..."Kleenex of Nienna"...lol! I love this challenge, it's produced some fab fics.
*Gasps* she bailed!? Hehe I like this story a lot, Kitt; Frodo's OOC-ness is funny, though his treatment of Sam did make me feel slightly sad. Another thing I enjoyed was your take on the Council of Elrond and glossing over most of what happened - I do get tired of reading the entire "strangers from distant lands, friends of old" scenario over and over. Having Odi's perspective added another comic dimension.
Is this the end, or is there more to come?
PS those elf cookies sound good, if there are any going spare... ;-)
Author's Response: Yeah, I still feel bad about Sam. But we ain't seen the last of him. (shh). The Council has been done from every concievable angle... yet one thing that does not get old about it is, uh, Legolas. (teehee) Thanks for your comments, Narya! They've made my morning. :) And yes, cookies!!! *tosses over five bulky sacks*
Another hilarious chapter..."locker room-reeking lake" and "Manwë’s Blowdryer!" made me laugh out loud. And Gandalf's pretty irresponsible, giving alcohol to an innocent little otter! ;-) Also loved Odi's reaction to Gollum, and oh my life, that last line..."I think I left it in Rivendell"...LMFAO!!!!!!!!
Nice work again, Kitt!
PS - about your email...nope, I did not do it on purpose, but I have read JE recently so I think it must have just lodged in my subconscious.
Author's Response: Gollum is freaky. But in an already creepy Moria he’s super-freaky. Yes, I think Gandalf may have thought twice with the alcohol… yet Odi’s not the MOST innocent otter. :D When trying to think of a nasty, oily stench, locker room was first. To make it more potent, I guess I could have tagged on MEN'S... Thanks!!!
Woot, update! Funny as ever, Kitt; I love Odi's internal monologues, and the little plot tweaks you make :-) keep going, please!
Author's Response: The monologues are so much fun, though Odi hasn’t much of a choice but to talk to herself. I think it’s better that way – the plot would be skewed all the more if she could tell them what was on her mind. :D Thanks, Narya!
Gorgeous. Just lovely.
One of my cousins is adopted, but we all see her as much a part of the family as any of the rest of us. She has no wish to get to know her "real" parents - guess blood isn't always thicker than water.
Thought-provoking and skilfully written; well done.
Oh this is nice :) you've portrayed the relationship between Gimli and Mith very well; I guess you're a dog lover too? Anyway it's very touching. Mith reminds me of my Grandma's old dog, an Alaskan malamute called Kai...he was great, he used to leap on my bed first thing on a morning too...sorry, I'm digressing!
It's an intriguing idea - I might have go at this challenge at some point. It makes a change to have a four-legged tenth walker!
I'm off to check out your other fics...I like the civil war too, but I haven't had a lot of time to read recently, what with exams and all.
I hope to read more about Mith soon!
Author's Response: You will, believe me I will probably add the next chapter later tonight! Thanks for reading! Dune
Oooh can't wait to see Mith fighting the Watcher in the Water! Nice chapter; I like the relationship Mith is developing with Sam.
Author's Response: Thank you! You don't know how long I have been waiting for a review today, for this story and for Riders of Arnor! Sam was sad after loosing bill so of course Mith would try to comfort him and Sam would love him because, Sam loves animals. Thanks again for the review! Dune
Short, sweet and most intriguing...so far it reminds me a little bit of "Official Fanfiction University" by Camilla Sandman (if you haven't read it then I highly recommend it!), but if Alex has turned into some kind of animal then clearly this story is going in a different direction to that one.
Your structure is really good - the contrasting sentence lengths add impact - but I'd double check your spelling next time, there are a couple of typos here. For example, "resembalence" should be "resemblance." I'm not being deliberately picky...it's just that you can clearly write well, and I think it's a shame not to make the story as good as it possibly can be!
I'll keep my eye on this; I really like the idea, I might even have a shot at the challenge myself next time I get chance.
PS - DROTN is right, Alex is a very cool name :D
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing - I've enjoyed writing this story so far, and no worries about pointing out the spelling mistake - I worry about grammar and spelling too much, but at the moment my wordpad is down so I'm having to type on notepad, which has no spellcheck. I have read Camilla Sandman's university story, and it's one of the best original stories I've read, ever. I hadn't got that in mind when I started writing this, I just wanted to rise to the challenge because it sounded so cool. Do have a shot at the challenge, as I've said, it's really good, and I hope that you enjoyed reading. Thank you for the review! meerkatalex
Writing is creative. It's almost magical.
Too true. All these responses have made me feel very proud of writing - both fanfic and original fiction. It's a privilege to write. I'm feeling less guilty about it by the minute. Thank you very much for adding your point of view; I always like to hear what you think!
I'm so glad you chipped into this! :D
With fanfic, gratification is instant: You “publish” your storie with the click of a mouse, and literally within hours, you will see the hit count on your story, and begin to see the reviews come in.
And you can experiment: drabbles, dribbles, poems, ficlets and vignettes and character studies; strange POVs; AUs; long and rambling WIPs which you can begin to publish long before you even know yourself where they are going! There’s no market for any of that in the conventional publication world.
I never really thought of it that way before, but it's true - it's great knowing that whatever you publish, it's almost certain to be read and reviewed. I especially sympathise with the "long and rambling WIPs" bit; my two main fics are both WIPs and I'm having a great time just letting them take off in the direction they want to go in, as well as getting unbiased and helpful feedback along the way.
Because there is never enough canon.
Because there are always alternate universes to explore.
Because there is always hurt that needs comforting.
Because there is always the chance to see your ‘ship come in.
Because we love the characters and the world and the story, and we never want it to end.
I love that. And it's so very, very true.
Thanks for adding your thoughts!
Intriguing stuff, Dune - I like your idea. You've built up the suspense well in this opening, and you write really clearly. The only thing I'd suggest would be inserting a double line space between each paragraph; it'll make it easier on the eye.
Take care - Narya
Author's Response: Thanks for the tip, I will get right on that! Glad you read and liked this story! Dune
Nice job; your writing's improving all the time, and Braun engages the reader's sympathy successfully.
Nitpick: when Merry, Pippin and Sam follow Strider and Frodo up the stairs, I think you need a more dramatic word than "walk" to describe their entrance into the room. "Sprint," maybe, or "hurtle." You wouldn't just "walk" if your friend's life was in danger!
I like it though; I think this is an interesting and original idea. On to the next chapter!