Read the whole story since your posting of Chapter 51 just now, and find it both horrific and terrific. There is no balm in Valinor....
Author's Response: Thank you, so much, for your feedback. I'm delighted that you've enjoyed reading what I've written and posted of the story so far; thank you for communicating this to me; I really appreciate it.
I have to admit that I'm one of the "faint-hearted" readers you've said that this story is *not* for, but is there any chance that this will become less dark? LIndir has now lost everything for his crimes of having been so deluded by his misplaced love and loyalty, and his future now looks even bleaker than his past, even if Glorfindel makes this half-hearted attempt to save him. (I can't help think that if the situations were reversed, LIndir would never have left him to suffer alone.) The devastating part of all this is not in the details, gruesome as they have sometimes been, but in the very fact that the Valar are largely responsible for so much suffering. If that *is* the point, I guess I've answered my own question. But you write this brilliantly, regardless of my personal preference for *some* redemption, somewhere!
Author's Response: Again, thank you; I very much appreciate it. To answer your question, I do not know the ending yet, but I am aiming for a much less dark resolution, at least for Glorfindel and Lindir.
These two brilliant new chapters remind me of the old adage: "Be careful what you wish for, as you may get it!" I very much wanted to see this story continued, but it is breaking my heart anew. Lindir's bond with Glorfindel has been annulled, his ultimately willing "use" by Sauron is public knowledge, he has no contact with Glorfindel or his children, he has nothing left to do but suffer one forced pregnancy after another and to endure memories of how he helped to hurt other elves until they died from much the same "treatment" as he is now receiving from the Valar .... and yet he has nowhere to go, and no way to end this. I now see the real advantages that humans have in *not* being immortal!
And yet I admire him far more than Glorfindel at this point, oddly enough.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you again, ebbingnight. I really enjoy and appreciate your reviews. I'm so glad that you're still enjoying reading this story (although "enjoying" doesn't really seem like the right word here). Thanks again!
The only word that comes to mind to describe the story now is "Kafkaesque," which is not a word that I ever thought I'd be applying to LOTR fanfiction, lol!
The ambiguous conclusion of the "show trial," the insidious way in which the "rationalising" of mpreg seduces the judges and their minions into actions comparable in their cruelty to those for which the absent defendant(s) are (supposedly) standing trial, the several surprising methods with which the defendant(s) are able to manipulate the judges into releasing their key witness, the growing realization that this society is almost entirely built on pretense and actual lies, the many questions left unanswered about what actually happened and why, the lingering shame and sadness that even rebirth cannot erase, the flickering hope that some measure of reconciliation may come with time and care, the recognition that everyone is sometimes weak and wanting in some way, and that the guilty can be better than the good in certain situations... well, I could go on, but that's probably enough for one reader. Not an easy read, in any sense of the word, but a tremendous accomplishment by the author!
I don't suppose there's any chance of a final "afterword" someday? In particular, a meeting between Lindir and Laiglass?
Author's Response: Ha! Well, there's a first time for everything. :) I did, originally, intend to include a reunion between Lindir and Laiglas. Perhaps I will include it if and when I revise the story. Thank you, again, so much for your support; your generosity in sharing your thoughts regarding the story; and for simply reading and reviewing it. I doubt I would have finished this story without your input.
Well, if you do someday rewrite this (wow, what a daunting task, but how thrilling!), you might consider adding what I think might well be your missing masterpiece: the "Lindir's Funeral" chapter. I am going crazy imagining this now: who is there, who is not, what is said, what is felt, etc., etc. The idea of hundreds of elves suddenly coming to extend their "condolences" to Glorfindel about Lindir's mysterious demise is thought-provoking, to say the least!
So, despite the fact that the story is now officially finished, it's still ongoing in the mind of *one* reader, at least!
Thanks again for showing us such an engrossing (and occasionally grossing out!) universe!
Author's Response: Thank you, ebbingnight. That's a great idea; I'll have to consider it in the event of rewriting. It was my pleasure. I'm overjoyed that the story is lingering with you and that you found it that engrossing.
Oooh, I'm hooked, I'm hooked! More, please!
So glad to see the new chapter appear, and so glad to see that this very young Legolas at least has Haldir to advise him, as he seems far too young to be alone like this, let alone already pregnant by a man whom he barely knows. Hope the next chapter is soon! **looks pleading**
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. Indeed, I think Legolas would be a lot worse off without Haldir there.
OMG, you updated! *does happy dance*
And it looks like Aragorn and Legolas are in for a long, hard road ahead, doesn't it?!
This is wonderful: I read it in its entirety on Slashy Santa, but just wanted to post a thank you here for this bittersweet story. And now I'm off to read your other work!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it - the bunny really ran away with me!
Angsty, angsty, angsty! Won't there be more chapters to this? *stomps foot and pouts, then changes mind and looks pleading*
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for your sweet review, ebbingnight. I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. I haven't thought about writing another chapter to this story, but if I do, I'll be sure to let you know. Thanks again.
A very good thing that the baby spider cheerleader squad wasn't practicing their other moves, as the "flyers" might have spotted Glorfindel and Legolas while they were up in the air, and then it might have been all "Bring it on!" But this was delightful!
Author's Response: 'Bring it on!' cheerleading Legolas and Glorfindel versus baby spider squad? That mental image is awesome!! You make me laugh. Thanks, ebbingnight! I'm delighted you enjoyed the story so much and I very much appreciate the review!
I thought this was fascinating and thought-provoking, however, I would propose a sixth theme: the nature of time? A recurring theme in many of the stories you list is the difference between the ways elves and men experience and perceive time, given their very different lifespans. Our human memories and metaphysics are those of a mayfly, in comparison with those of someone more or less "immortal," so that allows writers to explore and exploit time in a way that is unlikely (though not, of course, impossible) in contemporary "realistic" fiction, while still grounding their world in what eventually becomes our reality (according to Tolkien!)
As for slash, I read it avidly, but have no simple, single explanation as to why I enjoy it. Probably to experience emotions that aren't available to me in real life? Hmmmm....
Author's Response: Our human memories and metaphysics are those of a mayfly, in comparison with those of someone more or less "immortal," so that allows writers to explore and exploit time in a way that is unlikely (though not, of course, impossible) in contemporary "realistic" fiction, while still grounding their world in what eventually becomes our reality (according to Tolkien!) That's so right! Have you read Forbearance by Jdav? It exploits this difference very nicely. Another story that just got this right is Murder the Dawn by Crowdaughter. I am not good with essays or writing in general. I lurk for the most of the time. I read slash too much. It's something I got into during my university days and never recovered. I still don't have an explanation ;)
Aaargh, that's no way to end this! How about a sequel, please? Lindir's fingers are broken!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you, ebbingnight. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, and appreciate the request for a sequel. I'll take it under advisement. Thanks again.
Ah, this chapter is a bit easier to take, as it no longer involves Erestor as such a young boy. I hope that he finds the strength and maturity to deal with all the problems that are so obviously at hand.
And what has happened to Lindir? I want to hear more of the Green Elves!
You're doing an amazing job of storytelling, in case you weren't already aware. :)
Author's Response: Oh, I am glad you enjoyed this chapter more :D I am actually quite relieved I am done writing a young Erestor. I didn't expect it to be so hard to write a child, but it was. I kept on getting mad at him for not acting more mature lol! I am hoping for some definite character growth, or the revelation of character growth in the next chapter.
Oh Lindir? Well we haven't seen the last of him, but he's still several chapters in the future... he might make a reappearance at a certain high-kings court ;)
Green elves are a yes! I think they are far too over looked in Silm writing :(
Thank-you again for the kind words, and I am happy to hear you're still enjoying the story :D
The idea of the braids as "souvenirs" is very, very chilling (and one I've never read before). Young Erestor's confusion about the reason for keeping them seems very natural. And his father's mention of duty to Curufin lets us know that there's nothing good in store for him...
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review! Keeping the braids is defiantly a disturbing thought, and one has to wonder about his motivations for doing so... I guess we'll have to see what kind of and elf Erestor's father is in future chapters :) But service to the son's of Feanor doesn't seem to offer much hope... but we'll see!
I am disliking this more and more with each chapter, but in a way that speaks to your skill as an author, I think. The bullying, racism, and sexualized cruelty here is becoming increasingly real, and therefore harder to read without revulsion, particularly as your Erestor and Lindir come across as very normal youngsters more or less trapped in this extremely hostile environment.
Author's Response: Thank-you for your honesty ebbingnight. I understand where you’re coming from, it is a hard read, even darker then I had originally envisioned. I will say things will be getting a less dark (I hope :D) but then, I haven't even gotten the kinslayings.
" particularly as your Erestor and Lindir come across as very normal youngsters more or less trapped in this extremely hostile environment."
Yes, that sums up where they are perfectly. It’s hard to imagine a happy childhood raised in the mists of murderers:( Yet, they are not alone, and while I imagine such an environment could twist the physic of a person (the twins being good examples of this, growing up in the heart of a hate and revenge fueled court) it can also refine a person bringing forth their inner beauty. Either way Erestor's past lingers with him for many years to come.
Thank-you again for the review. I do hope you will continue reading even with the graphic raw nature the story has taken :( I haven't started writing ch 5 yet, but I am hoping for a less dark one :D
Caranthir Fëanorian! Yes, I have to fear with Erestor that there can be no happily-ever-after here. For Erestor, even worse than suffering himself will be to watch lovely little Lalauro go through whatever may be to come.
Author's Response: Thank-you for commenting ebbingnight :D
You are 100% right unfortunately :( I don't like to think about Doriath and its aftermath...but its coming up and fast! Poor Erestor he still has the darkest time of his life ahead! How I wish it wasn't so :(
I'm a little surprised that Erestor even suspects that he may have these feelings: it's not as though his "experience" with Mórivo was anything other than painful and shameful. It's almost as though he's blaming himself as the victim (which, psychologically, isn't that unusual, come to think of it.) Interesting chapter: anxious to see more!
Author's Response: Thank-you for reviewing ebbingnight :D
I'm a little surprised that Erestor even suspects that he may have these feelings
that's a very good point. And I think normally he would not be aware of his less then normal desires -normal for the Noldorian culture I mean. I see the Noldor as more conservative then say the Silvian in matters of sexuality. But I actually think it was *because* of his experiences with Mórivo that he's even thinking this way. If he had never met Mórivo or been abused by him he may not even be aware of attractions between males.
He's a 38 year old elf, which I believe translates into a 14-15 year old human, so his body would already be awakening and under normal circumstances he would have been looking at others with a new awareness, he might have even shared his first kiss ;) But his experience with Mórivo set him off all forms of sexuality until he had utterly repressed it until now. He's very confused, but you're right his experience with Mórivo was utterly painful and shameful, yet it was the only sexual experience he's had :(
But now that he's facing his fears where Mórivo and what he did to him are concerned, hopefully he'll begin to experience the healthier and realer side of his sexuality. -That's not to say I am going to have chapters and chapters addressing that :D After this next chapter -and Green elves!- there's a bit of a time jump so a lot of that happens in the background, though I shouldn't say to much since I've not written that far lol!
OK, no more hints :) I do appreciate you're review, and thank-you for bringing up a very important question :D
Well, there is plenty of blame here to go around: Erestor shouldn't have spied on the Laegrim, and he shouldn't have later exaggerated the extent of the "attack" on himself as a potential assault on all the young Noldor. On the other hand, that was a pretty harsh set of rites (being cut until he bleeds, having to kiss the alleged perpetrator) for someone who was allegedly 'wronged" by the Laegrim: there didn't seem to be any recompense for the victim there at all. :)
My guess, though, is that being "friends" with the Laegrim may indeed be helpful later on....
Author's Response: Thank-you for the review ebbingnight :D
Yes, Erestor certianly has to take some of the blame for what happened, you are quite right. And the wood elves take their secrecy a bit to seriously it might seem. Yet, if Erestor had really done as he threatened (wrongly threatened since the poor green elf hadn't really meant any harm it was just a bad case of culture ignorance) but if word had gotten out... well if what his father says about homosexual relationships among the Noldor is true -he may have old fashion beliefs, but maybe not- well one can only imagine the backlash it would cause, and it may indeed have caused more elven blood to run :(
But you are right, Erestor should not have threatened to over exaggerate the offense, but in his defense, it was an assault, but he saw it through eyes clouded by the past, and again someone touching me or almost anyone else in such a manner would seem highly offensives and crossing the line, yet for the green elves it would have been viewed as a sort of 'checking you out' letting the other know they were interested, some advanced flirting, again huge cultural differences there.
The recompense of the wronged individual was the offered payment, which Erestor refused, he didn't even ask what it might consist of... but he didn't want anything to do with that ellon, yet he ended up kissing him! I do not think he would have given in so easily to the kiss had he thought it would lead to further desires on the ellon's part, which it did :( Erestor cannot help it, it must indeed be his mysterious eyes LOL!
Thank-you again for the review, oh yes, we'll see if he stays friends with the green elves, and if this foundation will lead to anything, you bet cha :D
Terribly, terribly dark for Erestor, and beautifully written. I haven't read the story yet for which this is a prequel, so I have no idea as to what kind of person will eventually emerge from so much loss and grief. Will Erestor take after his father, or not?
Author's Response: Thank-you for taking the time to review ebbingnight!
Thank-you again for reviewing, it means a lot :D