Pretty much all I can say is wow. This story left me speechless. The angst is flawless because it flows so freely, and your declared lack of premeditation would definitely be one of the reasons for this.
I especially liked this line in particular- "The youngsters, who clung to their mothers and fathers, who breathed their last without knowing why." You captured the very essence of war here.
I also very much loved the ending- I take this to be Legolas preventing Aragorn from committing suicide. In this, you did an excellent job of showing their friendship rather than telling about it.
A beautiful piece of work, in all!
Author's Response: Wow, such kind words. Thank yo so much. I had been a young, free soul back then, it seems. ;) I shall strive to regain that freedom and continue to work hard to improve - thank you!
I'm left practically speechless after reading this- what beautiful angst! And the figurative language is abundant but not overdone and yet extremely fitting and graceful- very hard to accomplish. Very, very good!
Oh, no, you killed Pippin!!!! (Of course, life's not going so great for him in my story, either, so I guess I'm not really one to talk). This is good. I like the part where Faramir talks to the tree as a symbol of his brother. Keep it up, and I look forward to your said more emotional chapters!
Author's Response: Thank-you, Traveller! I am glad you like it. I shall be posting more chapters soon. (I am currently working on chapter 5).
Ooo, angsty and dramatic- I love it! I love your symbolism with the candle and all the foreshadowing. And how sweet with Telmacar and his son! Something tells me this won't end well, but I look forward to reading more, anyway!
Ok, it's time for me to give this amazing story the review it deserves.
Wow- this was your first story? Absolutely amazing... and I thought my stuff was angsty! I think I've read this story about four or five times now, and it never fails to move me to tears. I discover something new each time I read it- a sign of a truly well-written story.
Not to mention who it's about! I'm really sad that they both died in the end, but at least you had to heart to kill them both at once! I always imagine them dying together- I don't think they would be able to live if one was no longer there. To be honest (and this is just my opinion), I think that if Pippin died, Merry very well might take his own life, driven mad with grief. I tried not to hint at this too much in "Of Magic and Friendship", because that was not the picture of Merry that I wanted to paint. I really don't think I'd ever write that in a story- it's just the way I think it would happen. On the other hand, if Merry were to die, I think that Pippin would simply die of grief. It's possible to just become so depressed that one neglect's one's body to the point of death.
Anyway, that's my take.
Back to the story!
"Yes, Pippin. Everyone thinks you will die, but they love you... They do not want you to die, but I'm terribly scared that the arrow that pierced you was poisoned... Most of the orc-weapons that exist today are dipped in poison to assure death, and I'm scared, Pippin, I'm scared... I love you, and you don't deserve to die. I love you, Pip. I can't live knowing you're not breathing the same air as me. Don't leave me..." Perfect. Exactly what Merry would do, no deviation whatsoever from his character. He's completely lost in his grief and his love for Pippin, inconsolable but for the love his friend, whose ability to do so in life is quickly fleeting.
"Know this, Merry..." Pippin whispered. "I have always loved you as a friend, a cousin... And a brother... You have been my brother for years now, but my time had come... Sooner than you would like, I think, but it is time... Now, what would be the ultimate price to pay for some of Farmer Maggot's mushrooms right now?" Also perfectly Pippin. He's resigned to his fate (as he is to his fate in my story, much different but yet so alike in your story), but it pains him so incredibly to leave Merry. But then he changes the subject, in an effort to make his last moments as happy as possible for both him and his dear Merry.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, an amazing job and a story brilliant beyond words ! (I can only try!) You should write more like this (maybe you could let them live this time?-of course, you're the author, it's your choice, but I'm still crying). I am commanding my personal army of plot bunnies to go and invade your house at night and attack you while you sleep, lol!
Many hugs from your friend,
Author's Response: Aw, thank you so so so mch for this review! I have long awaited it and am left utterly speechless by the sheer niceness of it. I was really uncertain about posting it as you know that the first story is the hardest one to post, because you don't know what other authors will think. I was very nervous, too, that I was killing off two of the main and most cutest characters. I didn't know how people would take it. But yes, it is rather drastic, although, I thought, that if dear Pip was to die, then Merry couldn't bear to see that. I'm glad it moved you to tears and even more glad that you've read it several times through. Thnks again for the most beautiful review, and you know that I'll always be your friend! :) Thanks for the plot bunnies! - meerkatalex P.S. "It's possible to just become so depressed that one neglect's one's body to the point of death." - That is so true. You should put this in a story somewhere one day.
I have to say it: AWWWWW! I absolutely love it, because this is exactly how I picture Merry and Pippin (although it is usually the other way around). They hold an indescribable amount of love for each other and are never afraid to show it, and sometimes its the only thing that keeps them going. Thank you for this wonderful portrayal of my two favorite characters!
Author's Response: I find that a lot of people think that Merry always looks after Pippin, but Merry got hurt during the War as well, so I decided to portray Pippin as a bit more mature - but I do imagine that he was the cutest little thing when he was tiny! They do love each other, and I'm glad you love them. Thanks for reviewing, and you're right in saying that they always have each other and aren't afraid to show it! meerkatalex
Very well written! I love the comfort between Legolas and Arwen in the first chapter, and Elrond's reflections at the beginning of the second chapter. It's easy to assume from watching the movies that Elrond felt a little coldly toward Aragorn, but in reality he was like a father to him. Very good job conveying his true feelings. Keep up the good work!
I will add if you bring in Merry and Pippin. I just have to think of something, as I don't generally write humor... you've read my attempts at humorous plays for my AP United States history class. But I can certainly try for you (and for Merry and Pip!).
Author's Response: I'll work on it, ya, I say don't try to make your APUSH plays funny anymore, there is not anything funny about APUSH. :} Hehehe. -Midnight
I laughing so hard right now (probably not a good idea, as I'm about to write sobby angsty scenes for my own story, but I just couldn't resist!) I especially loved singing Frodo and Pippin (Ice, ice, baby!) lol!!!!!!
"...that's why the pawns go first." Haha! Great line! Love it! Keep it coming!
Ohmygosh, I love "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard!" It makes me laugh! Lol, keep this up!
Author's Response: Yeah, the first time I heard They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard, I was in the library trying not to crack up. Ah, I plan on keeping this up. Fei's craziness is rubbing off on me. BEWARE!! I will be posting some serious stories, I just need this humor right now in my life. Everything feels like a maelstrom and I need a way to relieve it. Thanks for reviewing!
Haha, Frodo on sugar!!! And I love the ending with him melting the mansion and igloo. This was great- I didn't stop laughing once! Can't wait for that sequel!
Author's Response: I can't wait, either. Glad you liked it!
This is awesome! I like reading angst and drama almost as much as I love writing it! Poor Merry. And Legolas- those dreams sound really scary. I look forward to reading more! By the way, Sam's parents are Hamfast Gamgee and Bell Goodchild, and Pippin's parents are Paladin Took and Eglantine Banks. I hope this helps, and keep the chapters coming!
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing - I am so happy that I'm one of the first authors that you've reviewed on this site! I love angst and drama stories too - I have a lot of them on my account that I've written already and they are mainly about Merry and Pippin's brotherly friendship. Thank you for telling me their parents, and good luck with your own writing! The chapters are comin' up, don't worry! meerkatalex Oh yeah - Pippin is my favourite character too! He is so CUTE!
Ohmygosh, poor Merry! And poor Pippin, to have to see his best friend like that. I really like Frodo and Sam's relationship- although Sam still wants to serve Frodo, he is not so adamant about it as he once was, and Frodo is ready to just have Sam's friendship rather than service. Keep it up, I'm really intrigued, especially to see what happens with Merry and Pippin (of course)!
Author's Response: Yep yep yep! I love this story and am so glad that you are reviewing frequently! You must really like it - I love writing cliffhangers but I'm not too keen on putting them both (Merry and Pippin,) through too much trauma, although it is nice to write about them being together with that special brotherly bond that they cherish. Thanks for reviewing - another chapter coming up soooon! meerkatalex
Yay for Merry-Pippin angst! I almost feel as though I am reading something I have written when I read the angsty parts. You said in a review of my story that our writing styles were very similar, and now I see exactly what you mean! I don't think the angst was overdone at all, but then again I have the same concerns about my own story. I look forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Merry-Pippin angst really gets to me as it's really emotional and beautiful to read about. I hope you add another chapter to your story soon, and am glad that you like most of the reading and writing styles that I like. In addition, you should not be concerned about the amount of angst in your story. Some people will love it, some people won't, but it's up to you what you write! I'm glad you love this story, and I'm happy that you leave so many long reviews! The next chapter will be up soooon! meerkatalex
Good! A happy Merry-Pippin scene! That was so cute, and I'm glad that Merry finally feels at home. I always saw him as having blue eyes though, like in the movie. I love when you said that Sam spent a whole twenty minutes in a shop picking out the right color of fabric. To us girls, that doesn't seem long, but to a boy it would seem forever! *Laughs* Keep up the good work!
PS. In case you haven't seen it, I've posted the first chapter to the sequel of "Of Magic and Friendship", in case you're interested!
Author's Response: Thanks very much for reviewing the latest chapter! I liked writing this scene - I don't view all of the characters as they look in the movies. It seemed appropriate for Sam to take that long in shop - and you're right, it would seem like forever when he was picking it out! I will go and read the sequel now - if it matches up to the first story or better, then you're definatley onto something! I'm glad that Merry's happy now too - I suppose it would be quite hard in the beginning, but when he's been there for a while, he's sure to feel at home! Again. thanks for reviewing, and I'll look at the sequel asap! meerkatalex
Quite a cliffhanger! I want to know what Legolas was dreaming about! Awww... really sweet Frodo-Sam scence, definitely reflects Sam's character well. Cute Merry-Pippin scene, too, but I miss the angst! Write more angst please! :) The "where's the fire" part was funny, though. Totally in Merry's character to freak out like that when startled awake! Just a note: Pervinca is Pippin's youngest sister- Pearl is his eldest (and Pimpernel is in the middle!) Oh, by the way, have you read my response to your review of "Every Day"? Now that's an essay! Keep up the good work and please update frequently- I look forward to it!
Author's Response: Angst will be coming up, don't worry! Merry's confrontation with his father is pretty near too, but don't worry about that, I won't put them through too much trauma! Or maybe I will... *Insert Evil Cackle here* Anyway, yes, I will update as soon as possible. Sorry about the mix-up with Pip's sisters I will try to amend that mistake, it's just that Pervinca sounds like a very strict name! Yes, I've read your response - it was very interesting and I was reading for ages! Now that is an essay, and I love authors who respond enthusiastically to their reviews! Thank you for reviewing, meerkatalex
Yay! You updated! I can most definitly see Pippin as a "Hobbit-sized snowball"! He just doesn't know when to stop, does he? One of the many reasons I love him! This was a really sweet scene between Merry and Pippin and more of how I imagine their relationship- Merry caring for Pippin. I also have in my version of Pippin's physical characteristics that he is very sensitive to cold, so this chapter definitly corresponded with my own opinions. I'm looking forward to Merry's inevitable confrontation with his father. Drama, drama, drama! I love drama! And angst... Lol, poor Eglantine!
Cute about the cooking thing! I love cute Frodo-Sam scenes.
I really want to know who those freaky people are that Legolas keeps dreaming about!
Lol! It is commonly assumed that elves do repel dirt and grime, but I guess it depends on who possesses the perception as to whether or not this is true!
Ambigious, kind of freaky ending. Cliff-hangers, duh, duh, dun...
Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I really do appreciate it! :-) I always see Pippin as having a lower immune system than the rest of the Hobbits, meaning he gets ill more easily and catches colds a lot more; I know you agree with me from your story 'Of Magic ad Friendship' Anyone who is reading this review should definately go and read it! The confrontation with Merry's father is a very delicate situation in my opinion, so I'm trying to handle it carefully, so it becomes beautiful and brings Merry and Pippin closer together and Saradoc may be confronted by Pippin! You shall have to wait and see! ;-) Legolas's dreams will be explained further in due time, my friend! And he does not repel dirt and grime, but I wish that were true! lol! I like cliff-hangers, but I hope I'm upsetting anyone by them. Anyways, see you, and the next chapter is nearly finished! Thanks again, meerkatalex
Oh, by the way... Legolast is a Wood Elf (of Mirkwood), and he is the Prince of Mirkwood. His father is King Thraundil (I think I spelled that right...)
Author's Response: YAY! Thanks for telling me! meerkatalex
Twinky says he's proud of you and thank you for mentioning the pony! (Sam says thank you, too.) The horses could definitely use more attention, but one really does have to give Tolkien credit for inventing Rohan- a country completely based upon the horse. It shapes their culture, professions, and lifestyle. Anyhow, great poem and keep it up!
Author's Response: Rohan is by far, my favorite of the countries that Tolkien invented. -Midnight