Very good! The atmosphere you created really works well within the story.
I thought the character descriptions, and their dialogue too, was spot on.
Author's Response: I always am afraid that I won’t get the dialogue and character right; it makes me very happy you think so. Thanks so much for your comments! :D
I liked this. Your style of writing is very precise, full of detail.
I like the the light mood of the text, it gives it a very relaxed mood.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the first chapter of my little humor fic. I haven't updated it in awhile because I've been working on my other story, "Every Day", but when I get an inspiration I promise I'll take this one all the way. This is my first individual attempt at humor- otherwise, I play off of my friend Ar-feiniel in our random Round Robin, "Guards of Himring vs. Killer Tooks". Lots of fun! Thanks for reading and reviewing- I love reviews! -Traveller