The battle scene was very descriptive. I got the feeling I was right there in the middle of it all. Mostly, I like how you are unveiling Morroch bit by bit. Every chapter reveals a new talent between him and Kaia. And lastly, it's good to see the twins. Looking forward to see something develop here. I only know because I read the summary of your second story.
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you! That was kinda what I was going for. I am usually not good at battle scenes at all, so I really worked on the Helm's Deep one. Glad to know it paid off! Again, thank you. I try to gradually give my characters depth. Some develop faster then others, but there is always a surprise or two (or more) in store for the readers and sometimes even for me! I just had to add the twins. Not just because I love 'em, but because the story just wasn't the same without them. LOL Ah! You cheated! *smiles* Glad you are still reading, though, even if you already know some of what will happen. That is a great compliment to me! ~ Kaisaan
I am not much of a slash reader and have only read the works of a couple authors. However, I thought you did a wonderful job with this story. You made this about more than just the 'act'. I enjoyed how you spent the time to explain the emotions before and after their coupling. That's what makes this so interesting. Nicely done.
First of all, wonderful chapter. Ellladan's fighting over the will of the ring is so natural to the story. I'm really enjoying the flipped roles between brothers. And what can I say about my dear sweet Gimli. Such tenderness. There is no other I could see those fireflies flocking to. Secondly, I think you could touch on the ride back at the beginning of the next chapter and it would be fine. Unless you had more ideas for the Nazgul chasing them as they rode to the city, I don't think you need to make a whole chapter out of it. But then, maybe we're all just a little anxious to see Legolas back to his old self again. He's so fragile right now we are worried for him. You know I don't care which way you go. I will read anything you write and know it will be wonderful, exciting and leaving me on the edge of my seat.
Author's Response: I'm glad that is working- and I thought of you while I was writing Gimli - I have something I might post here-it's unbetad and unplished but just a fw thoughts thrown together. I dont really want to write the Nazgul chasing the to be honest- I sort of feel they are done with now for a bit, but you may be wright about having a bit- I htought I would use recollection and gradual recovery to flashback. So you get a sense of dislocation as you read. It will take a bit of time as work is mayhem!
Hey Ziggy. Playing catch up. It's been a busy summer full of family stuff, but school's back in session, which means my days are less hectic. Any spare moments I had, I used for writing, so not much time to read. As always, great stuff. I love how Legolas is slowly remembering, but not just that, he is seeing his mistakes like the Elrohir/Eomer thing. And thanks for the end notes. I have just started reading Silm and did not know that fact. You are right, it makes Gimli's gift much more important than most would think.
Author's Response: Hi L8! Glad you have caught up then -I know what you mean about using spare time to write. I am way behind in reading but as this is drawing to a finish, I amsaving all my favs to read afterwards. I need to get this done in the next couple of weeks if I can.
I really enjoyed seeing things through Pippin's eyes here. It was a nice break from all the usual tension. The end of your chapter was the best part though. I love your description of the darkness and mist. I can really feel the dread and fear as if I am actually there. Elrohir seems much different here, better, stronger, more confident. I see it in the way he comforts the men, tries to give them some of his own confidence. I feel him even out a bit as he senses Elladan's calmness. And to have him stand next to Legolas makes me see how far he has come since the beginning when there was so much animosity. They will fight together, not against one another. Makes my skin tingle a bit. Looking forward to the Black Gate.
Author's Response: It's funny how easily Pippin comes to me, his voice is the easiest to write. I'm pleased the dread got you- I wasn't sure how much to put in but you'll need that for hte next chapter! Elrohir ha really got himself back to where he wants ot be with his own state of mind I htink -the obvious love Elladan adn Legoals have for him restores his self-esteem and confidence but its fragile. Ah- so much can go wrong yet!! xx
Sorry it took me a while to get to this. It was Thanksgiving here in the states when it posted and things have been rather hectic.
Anyways, wow zig, I don't even know how to tell you how much I liked this chapter. One of your best by far. YOU are the only author I have ever read that uses quotes from the books in such a way that I feel like I've never read it before. Usually I see that and skip over it because it seems so repetitious, but you know how to work it in with your own story and make it seem new.
Everything in this chapter was wonderful, from Eomer wanting to protect Legolas to the Mouth of Sauron, from Elrohir at the gate to Elladan rescuing him. And that line Elro uses about his brother being his light and there has to be light to cast shadow. Absolutely gorgeous. At the end when Elladan rides to Elrohir, one of the best scenes by far. Elladan is so valiant here and I just love that. I think you could possibly have your next story with him as your main character. I'd love to see him on a more personal level, know his strengths and weaknesses, just know his story. Great great chapter!
Author's Response: Funnily enough we don't have Thanksgiving over here :) I worked really hard on this chapter so it is really really gratifying to hear you say it was the best so far. I felt it was right and recently some of the chapters have been squeezed out probably a bit too soon- just pressure of work. But I intend to go back and rework it as soon as I'm finished- and post it on Esteliel's new site. I'll move stuff over there when I'm done. I just felt Elladan fans need a bit of love too - and both of them came out of this well. Legolas' turn next chapter, which is shaping up nicely. Of course its the final battle scene so it wil lbe long but I really want to get that sense of the intensity of the battle - I htink Tolkien really skipped over it actually with Pippin getting knocked out.
I knew the Nazgul imprinted these thoughts upon Elrohir's mind, but I did not think it actually happened. You have me spinning for an answer and praying that this is only a false vision imprinted upon Legolas' mind. I know it is a trap that the Wraiths are setting up and I think Legolas is part of the bait if not all of it. I'm hoping that is all this is. As many times as I hated how Elrohir treated Legolas, I never thought he had it in him to actually harm Legolas in such a devistating way and I still refuse to believe it.
Again, the way it all unfolded in this chapter was beautiful. I love how no matter what happens or how confusing things seem, Gimli is a constant earthly anchor. How appropriate that it is a Dwarf, bound to stone as they are. Oh, please don't make us wait too long. I know that everyone who reads this will be anxious to know the outcome.
Author's Response: Dont worry- Elrohir has not actually done any of this but it was his fantasy, if you remember, back on the SeaSong and so the Nazgul have shown him what they offered Elrohir. Oh- I have already writtent he next chapter and you will like that I think... I am tweaking it t make sur there are no glitches- I found some in htis and have corrected them on ffnet but not here yet! Legolas is going ot have a hard time of it in the battle ahead so be prepared!! xx
Well done again. I look forward to more of this story. Legolas and Gimli are priceless of course. You've touched on all the emotions.
Author's Response: Thank you L8Bleumr- I have been reading your story too and must review- I am always torn between reading and writing - and with a new job, I cant do both right now so its nice to have something to catch up on.
You know how people say something moved them to tears? Well, this chapter moved me to tears of laughter. Legolas and Gimli's bantering makes me laugh out loud. Great stuff! Elrohir is like that quiet outsider that is just waiting for someone to say something wrong. Then he's gonna be all over you. But my favorite part was the exchange with Elladan and Legolas as their horses got close and they felt the heat. *swoon* There are so many different ideas dancing through my head right now. Love, love, love this story. btw... thanks for the shout out and thank you so much for reading my stories too. I know how difficult it is to read and write. I really appreciate it.
Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much L8Bleumr - I ma so glad you laughed at this. I love Gimli - he is the easiest character to write actually, and I try not to make him a stupid cypher like he is sometimes. It was one of the things I disliked in the film- he and Legolas dont really have much development of character. Yes- I like that bit between Elladan and Legolas - you have a lot to look forward to!!!! New chapter for you because of such a nice review!!
Well, I definitely look forward to each and every one of your posts. I can't say that I have ever been so captivated by someone's writing before. I only wish I could be as poetic with my words as you are with yours. Another exciting chapter. My favorite line here, by far, is Legolas'. "My father would not have any fools and I am no angel." Pure Legolas. And now the sea longing begins. I would be sad if I didn't already know the ending. Then again, this is fan fiction.
Author's Response: As you say, it is fan fiction but I stay within the plot lines and write around the edges - so although it delves into relationships that are vague in the book, I will be keeping to the story....well, I say that now...!! Actually I have written this up to chapter 21 so I will post quickly but I like to slash it up a bit probably.
If you've ever read any of my stories, you'll know I love to let things build and fester before a satisfying climax. You're right, it is more fun. Wonderful fight scene, full of anger and desire. If these two ever come together I believe they will shake the earth. Elrohir is so full of anger and sadness. I can't help but feel he might be jealous of Legolas also for being chosen by Elrond for the Fellowship instead of himself. He wants revenge over his mother's death. I also feel prejudice towards the Wood elves, and that this may play a factor in his hatred towards Legolas. Many different things boiling just below the surface with this one. This is great stuff. Just another thing... you say you've written up to chpt 21. This is what I do too. I will have practially the whole story written before I post it. As I go back and proof it, I will adjust or add. This is why I'm able to post daily. Keep it up ziggy. You are much appreciated here and a jewel on this site. ***Moe***
Author's Response: Yes, I do know- reading and enjoying thins greatly. It's funny you ask that because there is a point where Elladan considers just that. You are right about his prejudice- I hope it highlights the way the Mirkwood elves are portrayed by Gandalf and by the mainly Noldorin versions of events - I know i am implying the Great Man had a bias - he did. I am afraid I am not as disciplined as you- I have written and posted up to ch 21 on another site but wanted ot slash it up a bit so began posting here. I takes me ages to write a chapter sometimes.
NOOOOOOOooooooooo!!! *sticking bottom lip out and pouting*
Author's Response: Made me laugh and tried again- worked this time so I don't know what happened yesterday!
So far, Elrohir seems so desolate and confused. I think this last part fits his scattered moods fine. However, I could never picture Legolas being overpowered by Elrohir. Nor could I see Legolas taking over control of Elrohir. Legolas seems pained over the fact that his idol, this well known twin cannot stand the sight of him. It must hurt but not enough that he would submiss to him. I like how Gimli calms Legolas and Aragorn is the mediator. Another great chapter. Glad the glitch was fixed.
Author's Response: Thanks for the reassurance- it didn't really feel quite right that last bit so I am glad it worked. Scattered moods is a good way to describe Elrohir. You are right too, about Legolas never willingly submitting to Elrohir- it is alien to him, so what has to happen to make him do that? It does hurt him that Elrohir seems to hate him, but hate is a funny thing, isn't it?
Another great chapter and might I say quite a cliffhanger. Gimli seems to think it is Elladan who rescues Legolas but I know he cannot tell the difference. So I wonder if his dark warrior is Elrohir. Love the vision of black and gold hair tangled together.
Author's Response: Yes- he can't tell the difference as you say, so you might well be right!! And what would that bring? Glad you liked the last image- I was pleased with that too.
Another beauty ziggy. I like the brotherly love between El and Ro. Nothing will ever break that bond no matter how dark Elrohir might become. I have just realized that I miss Gimli. It's good to see him back in the story again. Good thing he wasn't on that ship. Elrohir would probably be wearing an axe for a hat. lol. But I think what I like most is how Aragorn seems to come out of a trance after freeing the ghosts. This is a point of view I've never thought of. It makes sense that he would be taken, his life entertwined with these lost souls. For a brief time, Aragorn was not a ranger or leading the fellowship. He was a king to a ghostly army that had been lost with no leader. He took up his position and they followed him. Aragorn needed to seperate himself from all the rest I think. I love how your story opens our minds and lets us explore a different side, a deeper side not found in the original works. Very inspiring. Thanks.
Author's Response: loved your bit about gimli! And I am pleased you picked up the Aragorn theme with the Dead-I just felt the Prof left so much unsaid with them.
Very moving chapter. It almost physically hurt to read Elrohir's account of the violence against his mother. With each word I was not sure I wanted to continue. But like a car wreck on the side of the road, I found I could not turn away. But in the end you managed to return us to that warm fuzzy feeling with 'Nana Gimli'. Ha ha! I love it. Now I want my own little Gimli.
Author's Response: I love Gimli- yes, I like that idea of nana Gimli - and his absolute insistence of what it means. He is a typical crusty old softee. I think he is so gallant too - look at the way he treats women, Galadriel and Eowyn, with such respect and charm. I think Gimli is a rela ladies' man - when I get round to it, I intend to give him some romantic interest too -maybe at the end he could have swarms of girls swooning over him too!!
Great cliffhanger. I can't help but feel there is something much deeper than desire between Legolas and Elladan. I think El is drawn to Legs song and desires to return to his roots. Legolas holds that native nature and through him El can experience it. To me it is more than just touch and want and need of a physical body. It is a desire to return 'home' if you will. (But then again, I could be wrong and these two just want to get it on until the cows come home.) Ha ha. Beautiful writing ziggy, as always.
Author's Response: You have hit it as usual! Yes, the peredhel are not elves or sylvan like Legolas. Tolkien hits at the differences but never really exploits them - he was telling Aragorn's and Frodo's stories. But they are totally and you will see the Peredhel strengths in healing but other ways later on in the story.
First and foremost, I absolutely love that it was Gimli who assisted the twins. When you are done with 'Sons', you must write something for my dear Gimli. You have portrayed him so well. I just adore him. Secondly, wow... Legolas thinking Elrohir was Elladan? Brilliant. It would be a very difficult thing to do, confuse a Woodelf, especially since he can hear their song. It was very believeable how he misinterpreted Ro's battle song for El's battle against the infection. Wonderfully done, but I see lots of conflict coming. *rubs hands together and smiles impishly* I love that kind of thing.
Author's Response: Yes, that is such an important point and it is the confusion he has with the sere-vanda, and cuivear that adds to his confusion. Conflist? Oh yes. nasty and violent and full of sexual tension!
Wonderfully written battle scene. Danger around every corner. Again you put Gimli in just the right place in your story. And Legolas' yearning for home and something familiar pulled at my heartstrings. Excellent work.
Author's Response: I have a really soft spot for Gimli so I hope you like the next chapter as much. Isnt it funny how the longing for home takes you sometimes?
Again, everything was here. Aragorn's reserve to enter Minas Tirith and cause a stir with the steward and the people of the city, El and Ro's sadness knowing they were losing their step brother as he claimed his rightful place and poor Legolas. He seems to suffer the most at the moment. He is still angry with the twins and unsure of the condition of his home. Lovely reunion with Eomer. And as usual, Gimli comes in when we need a reprieve from it all. The last paragraph is my favorite as Legolas vents about what he will do to Gimli and Aragorn. I can just see him sitting there, mouth full and complaining. Like it, love it, want some more of it. lol
Author's Response: I liked that last bit too -I just knew Legolas would be mixed up with his fury and relief, and wanted Gimli to feel it. He did tell Aragorn that he should trust Legolas would work it out but actually Legolas took longer than he thought- it shows that sometimes Gimli is cleverer, or overestimates Legolas. I love their relationship. It's nice when readers pick these things up. Thank you as always for your generous reviews.