I think your story is off to a good start. The young twins are very playful. Legolas is sweet also, though I sense something dark within him. Very interesting. Just one question though. Is this meant to be a Round Robin? You didn't mention anything about it and I was wondering if it was.
Don't worry about reviews. They will come. Sometimes it takes a while, especially with a new story. I think you are off to a good start. I can tell this is just the build up or intro to the real tale. I must admit, I am a sucker for a story with Thranduil and was excited to see him mentioned in the summary. I am curious to see where this leads to. On with the show.
Author's Response: Thank you for your thoughts. It has been about five years since I have written any fanfic, and this story has been in my head all these years, nagging me to be finished. I really am in love with the story, so here I am, back at it! Although I have chapters 1-26 already typed (and on the website where this story is already posted, I think up to chapter 21 is present), I am revieweing each chapter as new ideas came to me. I am trying not to let my disappointment over lack of reviews get to me. So yes, as you said, on with the show!
This is such a unique way to start a story. You have given us much of the sister's history in this way without having to actually visit the events. I cannot wait to hear from Amorith herself. I like her strength. I have always had a thing for a feminine warrior. I am ready to know more about her. I'm enjoying how you are slowly unfolding this story. Keep it up.
Author's Response: Thank you L8bleumr for your thoughts and kind words. I wanted to take a different approach and highlight the ancient magic and crafting abilities of the Noldor in a distinct manner, but not outrageously so either. I'm glad you found Forfirith's history told in an appropritate manner. The next chapters are mostly regarding Amorith, with a few diversions. Don't we all romanticize the idea of a feminine warrior? ;) Anyway, I am revising the next chapter and hope to have it posted soon.
Great chapter. Such emotions wrapped around wonderful use of dialog. Haldir is written well. I like to see him like this. And Orophin and Rumil seem very mischievous. But I love how Amorith seems to come unraveled in the talan as she relives a moment in time. Can't wait to know more of their story.
Author's Response: This chapter took me a few days, as I stripped it down from its original content and had to think of how to rewrite it in such a manner that the new ideas merged with the old that I wanted to keep. Haldir has been one of my favorite characters when I read the books, and I have always wanted to write something involving him. As for Amorith, all that rage and pent up desire she has been holding onto for centuries showed her softer side, and I am trying to portray her as more than some tragic heroine. Everyone has a past, and there are always motivating factors. Glad you are enjoying this, and thanks as always for your thoughts.
Another wonderful chapter. It's so nice to see both of their thoughts. They still long for each other but pride seems to be the resisting factor keeping them apart. This is flowing very smoothly. LOVE your Thranduil. I would play for him any time, lol. The vision of a young Legolas being tucked it by his father is just precious. You have instilled a new picture of the might king in my mind; bare chest, goblet in hand and holding open the talan door. What a welcoming sight. Gives me goose bumps. Have a wonderful vacation and will be looking for more next week. ***L8***
Author's Response: I am trying to put as much perspective into this as possible. It's not always wise to hear one side of the story. Yes, pride is definitely their major obstacle. Thranduil is the hardest character of all to unfold, but the most enjoyable. And I agree, give me this King any day ;) I wanted to show the most tender side of Thranduil, as well as his most stubborn. I am glad you appreciate the image I have portrayed of him. Anyway, I have my laptop and great net access, so within a day or two the next chapter will be up.
Let's see. Love your Thranduil. He is so stubborn in a good way. I feel his hurt and animosity. Same for Amorith. You can feel the love she still holds for him and I can't wait to learn more of their story. But my favorite thing about this chapter is your oc's, Celemire and Innas. I can see how she might be a little uneasy with the King coming to her if only for her musical talents. And Innas is so stong. Love how he stands up to Thranduil for the sake of his land and it's people as well as Lothlorien. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: I will start with the two OC's who are your favorites. As for Innas and Celemirė, I love them as well. Innas is a seasoned warrior who loves his home very dearly, but is concerned about it and his King. Thranduil's refusal to listen to the truth is very frightening, and so Innas takes it upon himself to be patriotic and appeal to the King's senses one last time. Celemirė is like a swoony teen, caught up in the glitz and glamor of the royal palace life but doesn't understand "the real world". She has a good heart, but is somewhat hapless. That's why I made mention of her little crushes on Legolas and his father, before she realized where her feelings truly lay. I am glad you are enjoying Innas and Celemirė. As for Thranduil, his stubborness seems to be his only quality showing through, but he is King. Deep inside him he still loves Amorith, but again his stubborn ways refuse to let him admit that what he did to her was wrong. And Amorith, she is just as stubborn, refusing to admit that she may have contributed to this. Bah, gotta love the old Sindar vs Noldor fued.
Innas noooo. Darnit! Just when Celemire admits her feelings he must leave. Wah. O.K. I'm done with my little pity party. At least she got a little *ahem* first. (hehe) Lots of mystery as to where this is going. Great history lesson about the Silmiarils by the way. Hope you had a great vacation and rock on.
Author's Response: I know I know, it is very hard to watch them seperated after admitting to each other their love. However, real life is not always pleasant, and I am trying to lend an air of that in the story, that not everything is happiness and sunshine. And our reluctant maiden is starting to learn this as well. Yes, at least the *ahem* will remind them of their love. Glad you picked up on the mystery, I am not always good at conveying that in my writings. Thanks for liking the abridged version of the Silmarils. Yes, my vacation was great, but now I am stricken in bed with some kind of cold ailment. Lots of fun.
Your Thranduil comes across very well. It seems as if he has built a wall around him and now it affects everyone else. Raising a hand to Celemire was his breaking point I think. Nicely written letter too. Celemire and Amorith must have been very close. It must have been painful when she left and now with Innas gone, Celemire seems so lonely. Lots of wonderful emotions in this chapter. Sorry to hear you were sick and I hope you are feeling better now. Thanks for the update.
Author's Response: Portraying Thranduil is the hardest part of this story. I am glad you like my take on him. There is a wall he built around himself, and it is affecting him and everyone else as you pointed out. Glad you noticed this. Yes he has almost reached his breaking point. As for the letter, it will serve many purposes later. Celemirė is very lonely, because now she is starting to understand the ugliness of things. She is scared because she knows she is not strong. It's funny you liked this chapter alot because when I was revising it last night I wasn't very happy with it. This was written about five years ago, and I couldn't think of how to retouch it. And yes I am feeling much better now. Thanks :)
Well, you sure have put me on an emotional rollercoaster today. This is by far my favorite chapter yet. What a beautiful flashback. Thranduil and Amorith are so loving and little Legolas is just precious. So sweet how Amorith wishes little Celemire will be Leggy's princess one day. And the King's account of his wife's fate was so sad. I just loved this and feel so much closer to understanding how everything came to be. Great unraveling.
Author's Response: Sorry about the emotional rollercoaster! I am glad you love this chapter. I edited it from it's original version to include the story of Legolas' mother and add another dynamic to everything. I also wanted to show the love Amorith and Thranduil have for each other, to show that the Elven-king hides his most tender side deep down where he can only reach it after much difficulty. Little Legolas is definitely adoring, I think I love him the most! Flashbacks is what Amorith and Thranduil have left of each other now, and I find it to be a nice neat way of portraying things. I am glad you are understanding everything, and hope you continue enjoying the chapters as they come. It's a little confusing for me because on the other site this story is much further along, though it's in the original format, and when I am revising chapters here I tend to lose my way between the original version and the current theme.
Another wonderful chapter. It was nice to see Thranduil and Amorith connect the way they did. First steps are the hardest, right? (lol) Such a tender moment between them. He still needs her and that is so romantic. I just love your portrayal of the Elven King. You give him so many more emotions than I've seen before. Good luck on your travels abroad. Hopefully you will not be completely without internet.
Author's Response: Thanks again for your thoughtful review. First steps are indeed the hardest ;) I am happy you enjoyed the connection between Amorith and Thranduil and my portrayal of him. He is the most difficult character to write, as I am trying to play up his hatred of the Noldor while balancing his love for Amorith. He feels betrayed, so he retreated behind many walls, and with each wall there are emotions. His emotions are the most challenging, and I hope they are coming across well. And yes, he needs Amorith no matter how hard he tries to convince himself he doesn't. I have always enjoyed Thranduil, and this is my first time trying my hand at a (hopefully) deep and intricate storyline involving him. Plus I wanted to dabble with the Sindar-Noldor fued. Thank you on the well wishes for my travels; I am leaving tomorrow, and hope to have the next chapter up by tonight. Onto more emotions ;)
Amorith must feel like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. Somethings seems so right that it was Haldir she found comfort in. Loved how he held her and rocked her. I don't know where you are going with this but I enjoyed seeing Haldir open up and tell her of his love for her. He is very sweet and loving. As for Thranduil, I could get angry with him for sending her away, but I can't. He was only trying to protect his kingdom, though he was wrong in his assumptions. Great chapter. Happy Holidays.
Author's Response: Yes she feels better knowing at least someone worth his salt knows her true story. Can you imagine carrying a hurt and pain that big around for centuries, millenia maybe? I find it perfect as you have that it was Haldir indeed. Yes, the rocking and comforting he gave her...she bared her soul and showed more of herself than she really wanted to--reduced herself to her most weakest vantage. As hard and distant as Haldir may seem, he really is a softy and loving at heart. I myself get upset over what Thranduil has done, but as you said, he did what he did thinking it best for his people, even though he behaved under incorrect assumptions. I hope to have the next chapter up tomorrow. As always, thanks for you reviews, greatly appreciated, and I hope you enjoy the rest to come. :)
I love the first half of this. Your Haldir is so charming. It makes me want to root for them to be together. As for Celemire, she has finally found her voice and her strength. Thranduil has become so lost in his anomisity that he is now chasing away those closest to him, the last ones that would stand by him. I can totally see how this would play a part in the seige of their southern realm. He is blind to all around him and evil will seep in once it finds the weakness. Another great chapter.
Author's Response: This was actually two chapters....but the second part was too short so I made it into one. Plus I kinda like it, as if Amorith does end up with Haldir it'll be a parting from Thranduil. Haldir is definitely a charmer...he's Amorith's anchor. And yes definitely makes you root for them. As far as it goes for my dear Celemirė, she has been pushed to her breaking point. She realizes that not everything is fun and games, and she is alone. So she did the only thing she could to show Thranduil how hurt she is without jeporadizing herself entirely; she can't manage on her own outside. And you are right, Thranduil's animosity has blinded him entirely. His kingdom and rule are now at a higher risk than before. Glad you enjoyed this chapter (2-in-1), and as always greatly appreciate your reviews.
Nicely done how you transformed from reality to dream. Now we know Thranduil turned her away just as they were about to marry. How sad. She was just trying to be honest and hold no secrets, but Thranduil saw it differently. If she really wanted to take over his kingdom, she would not have told him her heritage. Oh that Thranduil can be so stubborn. Hope you are having a Merry Christmas. ***Moe***
Author's Response: Thanks Moe. It's important for Haldir to realize what he is getting himself into before he commits himself. Amorith is deeply troubled. On one hand she is looking for someone to cherish her, but on the other hand she is frightened to take the risk again. Haldir's momentary hesitance fed into this second fear of hers, so she wanted to show Haldir how broken she is. This one memory haunts her, and in later chapters this incident will unfold more and transpire. Hope you had a Merry Christmas.
A very mysterious chapter. I like how you took Vanime and Amorith, though they are one in the same and made them seem like two seperate people. I cannot wait to see how you unravel this next part. And just one more thing, I loved the conversation between the Lorien brothers. Very light hearted.
Author's Response: I want to show a dynamical depth to Amorith/Vanimė, how her mind works, how she has been affected by her past. Not just portray her as a tragic heroine. It may mean that my efforts show her as bipolar or something when I am just trying to unfold her many dimensions/layers. She is starting to realize that she can't go on as she is without deciding which side is her reality. The coming days will need her to be either Vanimė or Amorith forever. I'm glad you enjoyed the conversation between Haldir and his brothers; I wanted to show a snapshot of them all together.
At the end of every chapter I think to myself, 'This was the best one yet.' Well, this is no different. First of all, I laughed out loud at Haldir and Rumil's jesting. Ask the enemy to wait... so funny and Rumil's answer even better. Very tricky of Haldir to come up with the sparring idea and such a heated moment afterwards. And Amorith/Vanime's revenge... that was good. I don't think I would have had as good self control around the Marchwarden. Funny thought just came to me. When Am/Van and Rhavaniel finally come to terms with themselves and they can finally breathe a sigh of relief, they should get together for a glass of wine... hehehe. Gotta love these strong females. Happy New Year to you.
Author's Response: I am speechless by the really generous review, specifically the first sentence! I myself was laughing out loud when I wrote the little bantering between the brothers. To me Haldir is the older sterner brother, set apart from his two siblings, yet loving them all the same. His quiet demeanor eggs on the two, and so they happily tease him at every possible chance. All is fair in love and war; and this holds true to the growing relationship between Amorith and Haldir. She is still very much in love with Thranduil but is starting to doubt herself, but she is not wholly convinced to jump into something with Haldir. Yes, he confessed to her, but she senses something darker and deeper in him, as well as in herself. Not to forget that she now has to choose who she truly is, Vanimė or Amorith. The heated moment and her revenge as examples of her almost bipolar tendencies: she longs for someone to cherish her yet she still is very mindful of her pride and embodiment as a woman. And not to forget that Vanimė loves to taunt men...sly vixen. It would be interesting for Rhav and Vanimė to connect over a glass of wine....food for thought?
Oh, my little Celemire has grown up so fast. Now she will have a little elfling of her own. Love this side story. Can't wait for Innas to find out. The whole memory thing of Thranduil and Legolas was intense. I am so glad to see this part of the story. Legolas was really distraught when Amorith left, or was sent away. So sad that father and son grew apart. The way you tell this story is great, with the flashbacks. And then you bring us back to the present with ease. So Thranduil is finally waking up. There are just so many directions in which I can see things going, especially once Amorith shows up. I'm on the edge of my seat. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Celemirė is definitely starting to see things in a different light. And now this elfling will force her to mature even faster. And Innas will find out soon enough. So happy you loved the side story. As far as the memory Thranduil has of Legolas, I expanded the original form, and it seems very much well-rounded now. I wanted to show how Thranduil felt afterwards, and the effect it created on Legolas, as well as their relationship, and how all this stood in relation to the people. It is sad they grew apart, but Legolas being in the teen years of his life was marred and it remained with him forever. I appreciate you telling me that my method between flashbacks and the present course isn't too confusing. And yes, our King is waking up. You can say that Celemirė is the straw that is breaking his back. He is holding on to her in a way that his life depends on it. I hope the story isn't going in so many directions that it will be a distration and hard to follow. Don't worry, the Lady Amorith will arrive soon enough and things will definitely take quite a spin. Thanks as always for your honest reviews :)
In Tolkien's work, it seems that all the women or females have sacrificed themselves in some way. Galadiriel did when she refused the ring and agreed to sail, leaving the Golden Wood unprotected. Arwen sacrificed her immortal life to be with her true love. Even Eowyn sacrificed a part of herself. You have followed a theme here with mother and daughters. It's funny, what drew me to your story originally was Thranduil, but it is about so much more than that. And I get it now. A few months earlier I may not have. I don't know how to explain it but your story has touched me. Certain emotions and other events have seemed to coincide with my own recent life. I won't go into it here. It is just the strangest thing and the most enjoyable at the same time.
Author's Response: It's so true what you said about females' sacrifices in Tolkien's work. While I haven't read anything but the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Silmarillion, and The Hobbit, that's more than enough to get the idea. I didn't really think of that when I wrote this chapter, but to me it seems that anyone who wants something, or more than one thing, very dearly has to give up another thing. It just seems like the natural course of life, fiction or real, otherwise general stability is overturned. Compensation to survive. I am not good at writing love stories, and while this is a romantic story (and fret not, Thranduil will definitely be on the horizons, with some *ahem* as you say!), I want to show a depth, try to portray what life could have been if any of this had been real. I guess in a way I am a bit pessimistic about love and such, but I don't entirely dismiss it. It's real, it's present. I am attempting to show the effects of a love gone sour, of the intricacies of lying for the cause of love, and of loving in the midst of a lie. Okay, that came out somewhat philosophical and maybe I lost you...so sorry! I just hope my vision hasn't become too complex to contain in words! To tone it down many notches, I am really happy you are enjoying the story, and that it has touched you, and especially since it appears you are relating to it. I do apologize if it has caused some unpleasant things for you to be revisited. I appreciate your honesty, and hope you continue reading.
I think secretly I have been longing for this chapter. I have a picture in my mind of Legolas laying next to Amorith, his head in her lap and she stroking his head. Such a beautiful motherly moment. Their relationship is so special that it touches my heart. I am hoping Celemire can make good on her lie about being wedded. This story is just as interesting as the main one. I so want Innas to know about his child. Where has he gone if you don't mind my asking? And now Amorith is injured. Good cliffy.
Author's Response: I wrote this chapter with the purpose of showing the relationship between Amorith and Legolas as exactly what you said--a motherly moment. She came after the death of his birth mother, and so he clung to her just as desperately, and how could she refuse him? So young and innocent...in need of matronly guidance. Amorith truly fell in love with him as if he were her own son. And seeing him then after all those long centuries, she saw him mature, yet still felt the part of him that was yet an elfling. But the part of him that resembled his sire--the resentment, anger--made her want to erase the harshness away as best she could. As for Celemirė and the child she carries within her, their story will come in due time. I can only say that in the next chapter your question about where Innas went will be answered. All the little side stories lead into the main one, and I really do believe this story is the first of three installments. And yes, Amorith has finally set out to Mirkwood, and now she has a fatal injury to boot. Hold onto your seats, things will get a little more complicated before they resolve. I just hope I won't disappoint you.
This whole concept is absolutely wonderful. I can just see Amorith/Vanime infront of the people, holding the king's crown and glowing like the Noldo she is. Makes me want her to be so proud of her heritage no matter what crimes her ancestors committed. And it is so true that you can't have a king without the people. They need each other and just needed to be reminded of that. What a suspenseful build. I can't wait to see the outcome.
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind review; I am glad you are accepting my story and it's different take on things. She is starting to realize it is no sin of hers that she was born a Noldo, into a troubled lineage, and that she is without fault. Her greatest fault as she said was that she decieved everyone and inadvertently caused a schism within Mirkwood. So she is trying to repair it now as best she can. And truly, there is no kingdom without a leaderless people. Hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters. Several more and then the story is over, but I am planning a second installment.
Yes, you answered my question. Thanks. I think the last sentence sums it up. I'm sure going to Mirkwood, facing Thranduil, facing her own demons is the hardest thing she has had to do. Wonderful vision of Innas following Maeglin to find Amorith. And not a moment too soon. Patiently waiting for the next chapter ; - )
Author's Response: There, glad your question was answered; pleasure of mine to do so. When I read back through the earlier chapters, I realized in chapter 7 I had written he was going to Dol Guldur, but that was 12 chapters ago and who would remember (I didn't!)? Just hoping my mini-stories aren't too much. Yes, going into Mirkwood is the toughest thing for her, and already she feels herself starting to come apart. Vanimė is not strong, she is relying on Amorith. Glad you enjoyed the little bit about Maeglin and Innas; I've always had a fascination with birds, and since all Elves (Silvans perhaps more so) are connected with nature I thought I'd throw that in. Strap yourself in, it gets bumpier.