Members: Chiara Cadrich
I know exactly jack zero about elves, but I like this Haldir guy! LOL! I thought your writing in this chapter was very good. It for some reason seemed much looser, or relaxed or free flowing... But that could just be me too. But i though the writing in general was very good. But you also have a very consistant voice. You're doing an excellent job of keeping the story moving and keeping the reader interested. my favorite paragraph is the one were Haldir's loins ache! lol!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. This means a lot to me. I think it might seem more relaxed because Rhav is being a little more like herself. This chapter flowed as I wrote it as I thought about how she would act finally on her own, without her father or Legolas hindering her. Glad you like Hal. Where Legolas might be sweet and romantic, I like to think of Haldir as the bad boy that every girl loves. I guess we all see then in different ways and Haldir, for me, has always been good at making things complicated (but in a good way) *wink*
I was glad to read this during the Rose Bowl since my Wisconsin Badgers were losing. This is my favorite chapter so far. I really like Haldir. He's charismatic and powerful. He has a much stronger personality i think than Leggy does. Much more of a warrior personality, too. I don't really think he's a bad boy, but he has that male magnetism that women can't resist... that virlity that men emit that women can sense. Frankly, I think he is a better match for Rhav than Leggy. I think you made that chemistry between haldir and Rhav clear from their first meeting. Cant wait to see what happens next!
Author's Response: Sorry your team lost. I don't watch college football but I follow pro. My Dolphins aren't doing so hot either. Anyways, wow... for you to say you like one of the elves says a lot. I like to try and keep my elves real and try not to follow too many rules as one might think. Haldir I have always seen as having a strong personality. He knows what he wants and he gets it. He can be rather irresistable, at least I like to think so. In a way you are right. Haldir matches Rhav's personality a little better for now. Legolas is more tame and maybe that is because of his position as Prince. Haldir has been around much longer and seen his share of war. He's more fiery and he and Rhav will feed off of that energy. I'm so glad you like him this way. I really didn't want him to come off too disreputable. He's just ambitious, especially when it comes to the opposite sex.
Ugh! This Haldir fella makes me all melty on the inside! You're right, he's like that older than you sexier man with experience that for some reason you just find irresistible. But there's also that tender side of him that is pleased to find his "one" and he's not afraid to show her a little bit of it, like when they cuddle after. Doing a scene like this is a no no in romance writing, especially if Leggy is the "hero" but I love it. You're breaking the rules, and that, I think, separates stories from bland formula fiction. I also think that means you're confident in your own writing and story to do it. This love scene was well written and tasteful, not at all trashy, I don't think. Like real sex, for women, the foreplay is the most arousing. Once you get down to the screwing, eeehh.. it's all just in and out, not alot of detail required. If so it's all feelings and sensation. Can't wait to see what happens next!
Author's Response: You write your reviews like you write your story, just throw it all out there. Yes (and I laughed out loud here) it is all just in and out. We know what happens. Do we really need to explain everything? You give me so much encouragement, but I have to be honest. If I'm breaking rules it's because I didn't know there were any and where you see confidence is actually lack of knowlege. I only write what I feel and what I would like to see happen. I've taken no course, studied no books. So for you to see this in my writing really boosts my confidence. I can't thank you enough for your reviews. Every single one has helped me in some way. I respect your writing talents and think yours is among some of the best. And I have to laugh at how I took someone who knows 'squat' about elves and now finds them (or at least one of them) sexy. You know what I'm talking about. I've seen your idea of the elves, flashy and flighty dressmaker. (rotf over that one.) Anyways, thank you again and I'm glad you are still enjoying it.
Oh boy! this complicates matters doesn't it! Rhav and this situation are easily relatable. I can just see her rolling over and going, "Oh crap, what did I do?" You do an excellent job of articulating sort of this search to find the "one", her doubts and internal conflicts. Your plot is fascintating, well articulated, and well concieved. I like how there's alot of uncertainty in her life right now. Love Life Career. She's really not so different than anyother woman. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks Duchess. I think at one point or another we've all had that "Oh Crap" moment, whether it's *ahem* or something else. She is still hanging onto Legolas in a way, but she also knows what it means to commit to him and that means another sacrifice (as EldarinPrincess mentions). And I want to show that no life is easy, even that of the elves, who might seem like they can do no wrong. But she is young, strong willed, anxious and impatient at times. Things are not going to be pretty that's for sure. I'm glad you get it.
Nice way to keep the action and story moving forward. I can definately see all the story lines clicking into place and everything falling together. I hope she gets to meet Eowyn. I think they would have alot in common!
Author's Response: She does meet Eowyn, though it's not really a part of this story. I imagine Rhav and Legolas becoming close friends with them, especially after Ithilien and Osgiliath are rebuilt. Actually, I can see Rhav and Eowyn becoming great friends leaving Faramir and Legolas to wonder if they've created some kind of estrogen monster, lol.
There was so much angst and struggle and conflict in this chapter! I loved it! This is what romance is all about!Love is sooo not easy. You have to look past the others faults and baggage and dealing with your own issues before you can really be happy, and you're doing an excellent job of expressing that. The scene were Leggy and Rhav meet again was very touching and tender. and then to have it contrast with her explosiveness at the end was great. You wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley! I think all chapters should end in cliff hangers too! It makes me want to read more right now!!
Author's Response: Thank you sooo much. I love Rhav but she can be a difficult character to write for sometimes. Sure it would be easy and satisfying to have her fall back into Legolas' arms, but that wouldn't be her. I just hope she doesn't come across as too hardened. (oh... that would be Haldir LOL). She's the kind of chick you'd take with you to some rough and tough country bar. Of course you may be bailing her out of jail before the night is over, that's if you're not in there with her.
I'm not at all disappointed by Leggy's behavior. This kind of stuff happens. He's mad, upset, feeling betrayed by the one person he thought he could trust. Miscommunication happens in relationships regardless of outside forces. I'm sure Leggy feels confused and rejected, wants revenge, maybe, and wants his pride avenged. Pride always goes before the fall and he seems like a very proud guy. I very much liked the sex scene. It was erotic, hot and shocking! I like being shocked!
Author's Response: Oh good. I'm glad you see it this way. As I was saying to someone earlier, we've all either done it or had it done to us. When we are hurt the first thing we think of is to hurt that person back. We don't always act on it but we think it at least. It's nothing to be proud of but it happens. And if you like being shocked, the next update won't disappoint.
Well, it's all been laid out, hasn't it. Deception, betayal, unfaithfulness. Now that it's out and there are no more lies maybe they will be able to forgive each other sometime in the future. I was suprised it was Leggy who broke it off. But also nice to see that Haldir is actually a decent guy too... and not just interested in one thing...There's something about the way you end chapters that makes me want to read on right away!
Author's Response: It's been a difficult time that's for sure. I think Legolas needed to do it. Rhav is still trying to hang on to everything, but she can't. Legolas has done a lot of growing up especially on his journey. And this allows him to make the first move instead of tough girl Rhav. Haldir's also showing his true colors. He really does love her but won't admit it because of her feelings for Leggy. So he's there for her when she needs him to be and not always for a romp in the woods. He'll take it wherever and however he can just to be close to her. Thanks again Duchess. You always brighten my day.
Uh oh! How will Hal's impending death effect Rhav? I like how you wrote Gimli. You definately have him down. Surly, and grumpy with a dry sense of humor. You're characters are consistently consistent in their personalities and actions. Your stories are about one thing. Romanace. Which is, really, the reason people want to read it. You don't spend alot of time dwelling on things that aren't directly relevent to the story. Your excellent sense of pacing comes into play here. I hate to see Haldir written out of the story as he adds an interesting twist and conflict to the leggy/Rhav relationship, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do. It'll be interesting to see what happens now!
Author's Response: I just love Gimli. He is one of those no fooling around, tell it like it is guys. I guess I don't spend a lot of time with other parts of the story because... well, we all know the story. These are just the filler spots and of course romance is what appeals to me. It was difficult for me to write this Haldir part but it had to happen. Still, Legolas is maturing and things will pick back up after a while. I'm very excited about some future chapters. *rubs hands together and laughs evily* Thank you for all you kind words and your wonderful support. I always look forward to hearing from you.
Wow! I got all choked up there when Haldir died! Even I was suprised! It's interesting how Leggy shows up just when she needs him the most. I feel for Rhav here. It's like sh's lost a part of herself or who she is, a part of her that Leggy never really understood. I'm sure she feels sort of lost or like no one understands her now. REmember when we were talking about how in order for characters to be believeable women have to act like women? Rhav is tough, badass, stubborn, but she's still female! Her distress over haldir's death constrasts starkly with her blood lust. Hard-soft. Woman-warrior. Strength-weakness. Lover-fighter. She's incongruous and that's what makes her so compelling. Felt bad for leggy too. she goes to Antien instead of him.
Author's Response: I do remember that conversation and I hoped to show her softer side here, but without completely getting away from who she normally is. This will prove to be another turning point in her life. She will need to realize that she cannot be all balls to the wall every minute. And I didn't want her to go to Legolas here, breaking the rules again maybe. At this point, they still care about each other but they are not together. The only real comfort and safety she could indure right now is that of her best friend. I am so glad this chapter came across for you the way it did.
Crap! that was funny! I wish I would have thought of it. A very nice intimate moment with Rhav and Leggy. More admissions and confessions! So much uncertainty still with them even thought it's still clear they both love each other. And they admit it too, it's just so hard for them when they're pulled in two totally different directions. Kind of like real couples they're still dwelling on things that happened in the past. Not quite like holding a grudge, but you know what I mean. maybe more like resentment. This chapter makes me ask alot of questions. What did Galadriel tell Leggy? What is in thier futures both as a couple and as individuals? Where is she going to go next?
Author's Response: Thanks Duchess. I hoped that would come across as entertaining. And yes, I understand your meaning. Leggi and Rhav regret what they did, but it's out there, it happened and either they get past it or move on. And with everything else happeneing they don't have time to argue or completely make up. I believe all your questions will be answered in the next chapter. More adventures on the way.
Wow! there is alot in this chapter! I think this is some of the best stuff you've written. this chapter just flooows. I think there might be alot of foreshadowing in here too. You can actually feel the progression of thier relationship here again to something that will be satisfing and fulfilling at the end. This is how loving lasting relationships are built, slowly over time. They finally understand each other, but that doesnt meam their journey is over! And the whole Leggy, sea longing thing is forboding! I can't wait to see what happens about that!
Author's Response: Things are starting to come around now for both of them. For sure they have always loved each other even though it may have been buried at times. Rhav is on her way to making some realizations about her life. Legolas is experiencing his own changes too and I think eventually this will help him relate to Rhav even more. Their journey is not over by far and I see it continuing on long after this story is told.
Parts of this, like the begining and the part where Faramir says the tea is horrible are very humorous! Rhav's maturity shows through in this chapter. the whole thing is over before she even knows it! you've showed her compassionate side here too, and it's a nice thing to see since we've seen so much of how ruthless she can be. She has matured and very quickly too, but then, she's forced to, isn't she. It's not like a total switch in her personality either. I think she is a very compassionate person. This chapter is well written and a smooth and easy read. I'm wondering what will happen next!
Author's Response: I think being locked up and forced to face your demons might sober anyone up, even Rhav. She just wants to get back to something familiar, but she can't turn down someone begging for help either. Of course, the fact that it is Faramir makes it that much more important to her. You are right, she is being forced to hold back, divine intervention maybe? She is a warrior and knows where her place is, but yet when asked to stay and help, she puts those feelings aside to do what she can to bring comfort. This is all just preparing her for what is to come.
Oh, it's so nice they can finally admit their feelings for each other! It's sort of bittersweet though too, with Leggy's distraction and admission of wanting to go to the sea, but no relationship is perfect and it's just another complication they'll have to work on together. I really like this softer, kinder gentler Rhav. She's tender and loving, maybe Leggy makes her that way. It's almost refreshing, like a weight has been lifted off her and sort of off the reader! It's nice to see them both vulverable at the same time. They sort of prop each other up, and fill in the other's cracks, make up for the other's weaknesses. I can just hear and see your version of Gimli talking. He's so grumpy and ornery. He must be fun to write! Oh, yeah, and the whole thing there where Leggy is talks about how he feels called to the sea is a fantastic black moment. I didn't really know if they were going to move on together past that revelation. You went all philosophical there for a minute too. It's kind of like a curse that Rhav can't hear of see the beauty in things like Leggy can. Ironic and rather sad that her greatest strength is her greatest weakness. Rhav definatly has some perspective on life now, that she wouldn't have had if she had stayed in Mirkwood or even in lorien. It's a nice slow believable progression of both character's personalities and their romance.
Author's Response: I'm glad Rhav is coming across that way for you. Not only has a weight been lifted off her and the reader, but me too. She is an exhausting character to write for. As far as Gimli, I just love the little guy. I see him as grumpy and complaining but that is just a front. He loves Legolas dearly and now Rhav. His scenes always flow so easily when writing for him. And the reason Rhav can't hear or feel what Legolas can of the sea is because she has not been called. To me it is like something buried deep within every elf. It is something they don't know about until the time comes for them to part M E. But Legolas was exposed to it prematurely and it has hit him ten fold. So when Rhav tries to listen for it, she cannot hear it. She only hears what's around her, which happens to be a war-torn city. Legolas is hearing the call of the undying lands and that extends beyond M E. Rhav keeps Legolas from giving into his sea longing and Legolas keeps her from burying herself in thoughts of fighting. They are balancing themselves out and that can only mean a greater bond eventually and of course some great romance.
Wow. I'm pretty verbose, but i think i'm speechless. This was so interesting and so unique! So unusual! I think it's great! There are words, lines, paragraphs in this that are fantastic. I don't know how you're able to write three thousand word love scenes and keep it interesting and fresh. I'm totally jealous. I really like this!
Author's Response: Thank you so much Duchess. I have to give credit where credit is due. A very wonderful friend of mine gave me the archer glove idea. I really had to think about it and, well, this is what I came up with. I think these two are just so sexy and wonderful together. I couldn't stop writing. My muse wouldn't let me and so it turned out a little long than I expected. I am so glad you liked it. I always think of your writing and how you make it sound so raw and real and try to put the same kind of spin on it.
Well, after the last chapter I was trusting to your advice that the ending would be fulfilling. And it was! I have to say I really wasn't expecting it to end like it did! Great sex too.. I mean, well, it is sex! It was nice that you gave her to opportunity to let her follow her dream, if only for a little while. Very with today's modern girl way of thinking. It would have been sort of a bummer if she did all this work for sooo long and then just threw herself at Leggy and they lived happily ever after. That would not have been as compelling. She sort of gets the best of both worlds. Get to pursue her dream and gets the guy. Oh, and the whole modern girl thing, I liked that you wrote Leggy a guy who understands a girl who doesnt follow the good wife's guide. He is a 'get it' guy. Sort of puts a relatable modern spin on it. (gotta know who your audience is. have to write what you know about kind of thing). You have very few spelling errors or typos (unlike me, I'm sure you're aware) but i thought I should mention in case you didn't already know there is a ...owyn at then end. just thought i'd mention if you wanted to fix. Congratulations on finishing this!!
Author's Response: Thanks for the correction. For some reason, if I have that little slash over the E, it translates to ... I don't know why it does that and I cannnot seem to change it. I hate that because I know how her name is supposed to look, but I can't do it that way. Oh well! Anyways, I'm glad you seem satisfied with the ending. I had to let her do what she always wanted to do. Afterall, this is Rhav we're talking about, lol. She could never follow the 'good wife's guide' as you say. Can you imagine? She'd be miserable. Now she gets to be involved with the guards and come home to a sexy elf every night. It's been a long time coming with this story. I'm glad it is done, but I think Rhav has made herself at home in my muse closet. There may be some one-shots in the near future. Her adventures will surely continue as she learns what it's like to be a wife and a princess. Thank you so much, Duchess, for reading along and reviewing this tale. I get the feeling you would not waste your time on something that didn't interest you, and having you read to the end means a lot to me. Again, your wonderful and encouraging words are greatly appreciated.
As elves really arent my thing, a story about elves has to be really entertaining for me to read it, and i think this story has that potential. It flows very well and is smooth and easy to read. The dialouge between the characters is realistic and fun. There was only one thing I noticed. I don't know what anybody looks like. Paragraphs of prose with similes and metaphors aren't necassary, but it would be nice to have, at minimum, a general description. Like is the Master Healer "a moth eaten specimen" or does he have "the boyish good looks of an elf half his age." Oh, and location too. I wasn't sure if this was Lothlorien or Mirkwood. You could drop the location right there in the first sentence of the second paragraph. Don't ever give up and don't get discouraged!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for this. I guess I didn't think to say where it was because of Haldir and most people know he's in Lothlorien. And of course you are right about descriptions. It is so simple yet I never even mention it. I guess I should spend a little more time going over my chapter before I post it. You have helped me tremendously. Thanks again for the advice.
Hey! This is what I would consider classic romance. This is far and away the best thing you've written. It's subtly humorous easily and quickly read. Entertaining. You are naturally good at begining stories, I think, and a good introduction of action, and characters is half the battle won right there. Suck me into the story in the first sentence, the first paragraph, the first page the first chapter and i'll definately keep reading. This is nicely written and floooows well, even better than taming the wild. I guess by that I mean your sentences aren't as... halting? Maybe you're doing more showing than telling. Just enough description, too. Thank you for actually describing what your characters look like too! I thought your dialouge was realistic too. Already I can tell it's slightly raw and erotic, just enough to tease the imagination. This sounds like it will be a fun read!!!
Author's Response: Wow Duchess, I don't know what to say. You know, I wrote this as a little filler between bigger stories, Taming and the one I'm working on now. I didn't really take it too seriously and was actually a little uncertain about it. The last thing I expected was such an encouraging review. I learned a lot from writing Taming and I'm trying much harder to correct my mistakes, like character description, showing instead of telling as you say. The next chapter, which will be the last one, will definitely be more erotic. I'm thrilled that you read another one of my stories. I always respect and appreciate your reviews. Thank you!
This was so good. I really got a kick out of it! The whole misunderstanding was a smart and funny twist!
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Just goes to show that misunderstandings turn out for the good sometimes. Thanks again for reading and reviewing.
Loving your sense of humor! It's so clever! I like that you use words other than said... fretted stuck out to me and I liked it.
This was such a cute little story. Hey, there's nothing wrong with fluff! I need an escape every now and then. You should do more of these kinds of stories. you're really good at them!
Author's Response: Oh gosh, it's so easy to get into that 'he said' 'she said' mode, isn't it? I really try not to do it and have seen how it can get out of control. (Thank you thesaurus) I think I needed a little break from my usual tone of writing and Rhav and Antien provide that. I could write pages of their misadventures (just imagine them when they were younger). Fluff is good for that too, at least for me. But then my other characters start getting anxious and . . . well, I can't have that ; - )