This is too cute! Did you come up with the name of the bar by yourself? You're very clever and have an excellent sense of humor! Eomer and Loti are going to go to a bar calle the wooden cock, so I was just curious!
Those sound like typical games you might find at a bar and other typical activities, as far as the drinking games go. I'm from Wisconsin, trust me, I know these things! You've researched well!
Sort of like an odd bachelorette party!
In all honesty, I've read alot of what you've written and this is very good. It seems very loose, like it wasn't a chore to write.
I'm going to read the next one right away!
Author's Response: To answer your question, yes I did make the name up for the bar. The saying, you drink like you have a hollow leg, came to mind and there you are. And with the name of your bar, they could be owned by the same people, lol. As far as the games, I researched medieval tavern games and picked the ones that seemed to fit with this genre. It is an odd bachelorette party isn't it? Well, when your Rhav, don't have those girly girl friends and your best friend is a gay elf, that's what happens. I really am having a lot of fun writing for these two. The dialog comes so easy, as if they're leaning over my shoulder telling me what to write. And the humor comes naturally to me. In real life, I try not to take things too seriously.
Christ, that was funny! I laughed! Again, smooth, easy read. Not halting. This is truely entertaining, especially on a Friday afternoon with a beer in front of me!
Author's Response: Hey, you're my kind of gal. Nothing like an ice cold beer on a summer afternoon. Glad I could make you laugh. I know I did my job.
You actually have a really good sense of humor! Your one liners are funny and cute and silly and sexy all at the same time. Again, this was a smooth and easy read. Your writers voice is strong and getting stronger I think. I do like your love scenes. They are very good. Erotic, tasteful, natural... human? They don't seem forced or hurried.
Author's Response: I have been trying very hard to work on my style and details. Thank you for pointing this out. This is why reviews are so important to every author, especially when we are trying to improve. Glad to know it's coming across.
You know, you really have a good sense of humor! Especially your dry humor! I'd love to see you use more of it, and it seems you are! this is well written too. Your love scenes go on and on and are hot and, um...imaginative!! I'm envious of that! I'm sure I've said that before! Sorry this took so long for me to get around to reading! I hope to read the other one tonight!
Author's Response: It really is fun to throw in a little easy humor, especially when needing a break from writing the more serious stuff. As far as the love scenes, well . . . when these two get going, it's hard to get them to stop sometimes, hehe! Elves, what more can I say. It's not easy coming up with different ideas, that's for sure. So it sounds like you have been busy and I just have to say thanks for taking the time to read.
Three words. Fab. u. lous. Uh! this is so good! I can feel the pull between them. the tension. the uncertainty. It's like a.. kind of magic...(obsure Queen/Highlander reference). I've always wondered if people would read a story without the cannon characters. I guess I know the answer. I'm excited to read the rest of this!
Author's Response: You crack me up. This story is kind of a little test. My next epic has O.C's for the main characters. Cannon's will show up but their parts will be small. I know it's not everybody's bag of tea, but it's something I just feel I need to do. Anyways, as always, your comments mean the world to me and if it works for you, then I know it's working lol.
ugh! really?! I'm in love with this guy!you're fantastic at the double entendre. There's something about men...Real men.. something earthy and primal and rough that women don't have that makes us want them. And Orno has that. Something charming and sensual yet barbaric...Amazing strength or power held in check? Like you know they could do whatever they wanted to you but don't. You've done a excellent job of capturing his masculinity, his body.. his tendernes? And Nereth is sympathetic, but not weak by any means. I can feel the tension buildling between them in even somthing as slight as a touch or a look. This is delightful and I can't wait to read the next chapter. Just goes to show that it's characters that make for good reading cannon or not.
Author's Response: I am all smiles. I'm glad Orno came across so well. If anyone would know it would be you (needing my Eomer fix, lol). You know I love elves, but given the choice of men of Middle-earth, it would have to be one from Rohan. I see them as being all brawn and muscle having to live out on the open plains, where men of Gondor have become accustomed to city life, a more modern way of living. It's like choosing a buffed up cowboy over a skinny accountant.(no offence to any accountants out there). Glad you like Nereth too. She may be lonely and quiet, but she is still an elf and has all their elvish qualities. Back her into a corner and she will fight back. Orno would not want a weak woman. That would be too easy. The chase and seduction is what he wants and well, he gets it. Again, thank you for this.
Only one more chapter?! I'm sooo disappointed! I love these two! They're perfect for each other. Orno is so masculine, tender, sweet, powerful! They're admittedly each seeking their own pleasure but find thier pleasure in gratifying the other... if that makes any sense.
This sentence: Just like his strength, he wore his passion like a badge.
And this paragraph: At that moment, Nereth closed her eyes and spoke the most beautiful words Orno had ever heard. He could feel her soul open and cover him with the same love he had just given her. He felt his heart being pulled towards her own, their beats synchronizing. Suddenly, as his seed spilled and he moaned in complete ecstasy, he felt as if they were one body, one mind, one being. He knew he would never again experience anything like it.
Are beautiful, fantastic, and very telling about the man in the first case and their deeper connection beyond just what they have in that moment in bed. There's more I could say, but i'm barely awake. Still, I just had to read this when I say it updated!!
Author's Response: It's great to have your support, Duchess. I have to admit, I really enjoyed writing for these two, but they have finished telling me their story. I think you'll see in the last chapter. I will tell you this, though. My inspiration for this story comes from the song, 'All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You', by Heart. Orno is that gorgeous stranger that the woman picks up and takes for one night. Writing for these Rohirrim has been such a turn on and a nice change. I think my elf muses needed a short break and some alone time in the closet. But right now, these big brawny men seem to want the spotlight. Anyways, thank you for all your kind and encouraging words. I know I say that a lot, but you don't know how much I appreciate and look forward to your reviews. You are one of my most favorite authors and I'm thrilled to have your read my works and know what you think.
Sigh...This is sooo wonderful. So simple, so few words but yet so powerful. The first sentence made me horribly jealous and I was instantly sad for Nereth. I so wanted her to find happiness. She was so lonely and he filled the hollow place in her heart. But when Orno met Hethuren, I did feel happy for her but very very sad for Orno. He's obviously a family man, a man who has alot of love to give, but he'll never get to know his daughter. Meet, yes, but never know like he knows his other kids. I wonder if he regrets that. It's nice to see he doesn't have any other regrets though. That makes me happy for him. It's nice to be happy with the life you have. Asking 'what if' can drive you mad. I thought this story was very interesting. Unique. Bittersweet. That's one reason I like it! I got all choked up and thought I was going to cry! This story is like real life, not everything is all rainbows and pinwheels. I am glad though that they both ended up satisfied and happy with their lives.
Author's Response: Nereth knew exactly what she was doing that night. She realized she wanted a child and that she would never feel lonely again with *his* child, being she would never love another elf. That's why she made him forget what happened, or that it was only a dream. She didn't want him to always wonder what if. And if Orno knew she conceived, he would obviously want to be a part of the child's life. I think Nereth knew he was not meant to be with her but with a woman of his own kind. And I don't think Orno regrets anything since he never knew. When he found out about Hethuren, he instantly wanted to be a part of their lives, but Nereth made him realize that he already had a life and a family and that she and Hethruen were ok. She was finally happy. You are completely right about life. It is not always rainbows and pinwheels, and I like to tell those stories too. I am thrilled that you liked this. I think O.C.'s have just as important of a tale to tell as the canon characters and you give me hope for future stories like this.
Channeling your inner Diana Gabaldon, I see! I don't know what your talking about in the way of descriptions. You've got some great ones here. son of an orc, Terrwyn looking very dwarf like holding the ax, winded chatterbox
That whole bit about the horses and the elves and Rohan was lovely. Almost poetic.
These two sentences:For a moment, the two countries mingled together within their stare, grass plains and lush forests, the smell of open dry air and humid forest decay. They were two very different places, but both with the same feel of home.
They are wonderful! Perfect showing, wonderful description. I smell the plains of Rohan and the deep heart of the woods with the layers of leaves and damp dirt. What is it that's said about smell? It's the best trigger for memory. Smell always conjures a picture with it, so it's great for descriptions.
The tension here, their relationship, their behavior, is all very believable, very real. They feel like real people. Fully developed.
Usually the men are the pig headed ones, but Terrwyn is kind of pig headed herself.
That part where Fer comforts the baby and we see that other side of him...that tender compassionate side pulls at a girls heart! Makes me feel tenderness in return for him. That's what makes him well rounded and therefore I can't help but fall in love with him too. Which is, after all, the point of a reading a romance.
Reading your updates it always the highlight of my day!!
Author's Response: I can't thank you enough for turning me on to DG. I've been slow in finishing her book because I've been using my spare time to write. But whenever I need a break or can't write, I read her and she inspires me so much. I understand what you are saying about Fer showing his compassionate side and making the reader swoon. That's how I feel about Jamie. Fer is trying, though he's not good at it yet. He wants to give in to Ter, but like you said, she is bullheaded too and not making it easy on him. I'm glad you liked my descriptions here. It's what I try to do, though I don't think I do it as often as I like. Every once in a while, something strikes me. It's great having you along for the journey and I look forward to your reviews as much as you do with my updates.
OMG! This chapter was fabulous! It was like a little love story within the love story. Not to toot my own horn, but I thought I was good at making up good supporting characters, but you're easily just as good! It amazes me how these secondary characters just evolve and develop on their own.
Feona is such an easily likeable, sympathetic character. The first time we met her, I don't want to say she wasn't likeable... but, hell! she was sleeping with the hero! She made me jealous and sort of uncomfortably wiggly in the backbone for Terrwyn! Feona is a very complicated person who has had alot of disappointment in her life, but she is very strong, resilient, not willing to mope about and feel sorry for herself, doesn't want other's pity. Her story is great! I would like to know more about her!
When she was telling the story about the man she loved and lost, i thought for a second it might be Rosloch. I totally didn't expect it to be Eomer and just about fell out of the chair when I read that! Although, I can see Eomer doing this kind of thing! lol It made me feel very sad for Fe and gave me that pang in the heart. Maybe that's because starcrossed love or whatever you want to call it is the hardest to accept. You know what I mean...that you can love someone and know that they care for you in return, but it can never be. Eomer does strike me as the duty before all else kind of guy.
I felt like you were writing that part just for me! lol But that's what a good writer does! Makes the reader feel like you're writing directly for or to me.
You draw our attention once again to Feredir's age. He's young--reckless, and impetuous. Sexy! He's got those rough, jagged edges but there's a tenderness to him too, in that masculine kind of way. Women are expected to be tender and loving, but is there anything that makes a girl's heart flutter more than a man in a moment of vulnerablity? Especially when that man is in bed, naked, right after...um, yeah...
If more elves were written in the way you write Feredir,troubled, brooding, edgy, sexy, dark, imperfect, I might be able to stomach reading more elf stories.
At first, I was wondering what relevance this chapter might have to further the story. I was a little worried--if only slightly, mind you since I know you don't do this--that this might be going no where. But it was an interesting and unexpected way to move along the Fer/Terr love story. (Would they be called Ferrwyn?)How often do you get to read about he Hero's lover telling the Hero that he's in love with the Heroine?
I really liked the chapter alot. So much layered tension, so many emotions, heartache, angst, regret. Feelings that were real and relatable. Each sentence made me want to read the next and the next. I was sad to see it end!
Author's Response: I wanted to show a bit of Feredir's life before Terrwyn and even during his realization of his feelings for her. Of course there were other women and Feona just happened to be his current one. She's not the type to steal someone's man, she has plenty of her own lovers. But she did feel a special connection to Fer. I really like Feona and she definitely has a story to tell. I think hers will be my next project. I'd like to go deeper into her life, esp. with Eomer. No worries though, she will find someone she's meant to be with. Thanks for your nice comments about my elves. I was just telling a friend of mine that this is my idea of new elves in a new age. They are influenced more by men and being that Fer is half man himself, there is even more grit and brawn. They are not perfect and make plenty of mistakes, maybe don't even live by the same rules anymore. It's almost like they are removed from the ancient elves, evolved into something a little more compatible with the times. Of course this is just my own personal outlook on it. Others may not agree, but this is how I make them more believable.
This was an interesting little chapter. You kinda threw me for a loop with the whole possible Rosloch attraction thing. I certainly didn't see that coming.
Can I ask a question? When you start writing these stories, do you know where they are going? or do you just start with the idea and write, just letting the story take you where it will? We were talking about that is my writing class the other night.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: You know, it just wouldn't be the same without seeing a review from you Duchess. It is always a welcome sight. When I originally wrote this part, it was not Ros. It was a new character, but I just wasn't feeling it. It was actually a friend that mentioned Ros and suddenly it just clicked. To answer your question, I usually have a very basic idea in my head, but it's not until I start writing that the story comes to life. All of these characters (besides Terrwyn and Feredir) just kind of created themselves as I was writing. And as I get to know them, they tell me their stories. As for the story itself, I have only a few main ideas. The details come out as I write. Hell, I don't even know how this is going to end yet, but I know as it moves along, it will just happen. I've discovered that you can think all you want about it, but it's not until you really start writing that the plot happens. I can't think too far ahead for fear of writing myself into some corner that I won't be able to get out of. At least this is how it is for me. I hated english in my school days, never took a single writing class, but I know what I like to read. I know what makes my heart pound and I try to incorporate that into my own work. And like you always say, I don't take myself seriously and just have fun with it.
This was a nice chapter. Light and hopeful. Fun...Ah, stimulating! lol
Curuven and Limil are great. They add humor and a lightheartedness to the story.
I can't wait to find out what happens in the next several chapters!
Author's Response: Curuven and Limil are fun to write for. That scene was inspired by my husband and I making chili sauce. 16 years of marriage and I just found out that he doesn't know what a simmer is. Oh well, I guess I'll still keep him, LOL.
Wow! Not alot of action in this chapter, but it's still very deep. It's good stuff like this, examination of a character's thoughts and actions that make stories more rounded, characters grow. It's also what makes chapters blow up into ten thousand word diatribes!lol
You did a good job of telling us through showing about Feredir's elvish side and the battle that he wages within himself.
Great, great descriptions, not just of actions and places and people, but of motivations. Your writing is positively popping off the page. They are alive and real.
So much tension and struggle, both internal and external for both Terr and Feredir.
Author's Response: Yea, this is one of those filler chpts, but a good time to give the characters time to talk things out in their own heads. Fer is in denial and Ter just wants to get on with things, but they'll have some time to discover what's happening while she serves her punishment, and Fer too.
Ugh! The tension here is tangible. I got a little tight in the throat here at the end. If there's one thing I hate, it's manufactured tension between characters. You know, when the author tells you there's tension between the characters, but you just can't feel it. Dude, you can write pages and pages of flowery prose, but if I can't feel the tension, the emotions of a character, you've got nothing.
Poor Taldred. Such a genuinely good man. Seriously, I don't think guys like him exist anymore. (Maybe I'm just cynical, but I don't think many real men exist in our culture anymore. Call me crazy but Emo's are not attractive)It must be hard for both of them knowing they will likely never see each other again, you know. It's nice that she allows him that one kiss and that it's given willingly, without regret or any undo pressure.
You've set the scene here really well. The place, the people, thier relationships. Rosloch...eh, he's just a typical guy. NOt a bad guy, but just maybe lacking female companionship. I suppose so, being all alone up there for so long.
Your last paragraph here is an excellent summary and transition into what one might call Part Two.
You're a very good writer and storyteller. Whatever the "it" is that makes a good writer, you have it. Creativity, prolific, lots of different ideas, you have perspective, which I think is the most important quality ar writer can possess. You're able to convey thoughts and feeling and capture the readers attention. DRag the reader in to feel what the characters are feeling.
I enjoyed this chapter, especially your use of showing versus telling. It seems every story, every chapter, you keep getting better.
You really kick these out don't you!
Have a good weekend!
Author's Response: You're not the only one that was pulling for these two, but Terrwyn would never give something away unless it came from the heart. I think Taldred knows this. He just couldn't let her leave without making his feelings known. You might be right about men today. Society has changed much over the decades and maybe none of us are the same anymore. As for Rosloch, I hope you give him a chance. You are correct that he is not a bad guy. He's just lived his life a certain way for a long time and enjoys it. Thank you so much for all your comments and know that I take everything to tell me into account. You have a great weekend too.
Your prose in this chapter is wonderful! The scene is well set and described in a way that is thorough but overdone, you don't go on and on about the flowers and stuff. Just enough to set the stage and give me the feeling for the place. I can see the passion you have for the story and its characters when you take to time to set the scene where they will be acting. I really haven't seen too much of that passion in your other works.
You've really got something here with these two. They're really jumping off the page! It's simple stuff like this:
Terrwyn traced his lips with her finger, so full, so soft
It's those last four words that make me feel him, see him, make him real and pop off the page. You could've left them out, but it you did, the action and the romance wouldn't be as good.
There's so much tension here and you choose the right words to build the tension too.
At the begining we see alot of Feredir's elven side, talking to the squirrels, communning with nature (like some sort of middle earth hippy lol)
But at the end I like seeing his Gondorian side and that you brought our attention to that fact.
Those paragraphs were they're making out...far and away the best psuedo love scene you've written. I feel the passion, the tension, the romance, the deeper connection between two souls. Anybody can write a sex scene. But it's so difficult to show the passion or desire between two people.
Loved that second to last paragraph where she tells him off.
I love Feredir's human side...but then again, I love men... not just, like, men but like, Men. They're not like elves, they're weak, vulnerable, brutal, passionate (like capable of, revealing, or characterized by intense emotion or easily roused to anger; quick-tempered... that kind of passionate).
He's so mysterious! I have a feeling he doesn't feel so hot about his human side. You've already told us he grew up in Mirkwood, so he thinks of himself as an elf and not as a Man. Is that what irks him at the end... that she points that out to him?
Seriously, I was wishing you would post yesterday while I was lying there in the ER! I was desperate for something to take my mind off everything else! I kept checking and checking on my phone!
I was pretty excited to read it today, though!
Author's Response: First of all let me say, I hope you are doing better and so sorry to hear you were in the ER. Secondly, I wish I had known. I would have posted right away or sent you the chpt. I am flattered that you think my prose is good. One thing I have learned is that the background and setting is just as important as the characters and is a character itself at times. Itís hard to remember that in fanfic because of the books and movies. If someone says Helmís Deep, everyone knows what it looks like. But to me Ithilien is open for options. Not much is known about it in the 4th age and it is almost like a blank canvas. These descriptions may not be correct, but itís how I see it. I think I have more passion for this story because it is my own more than any other. Iím not following the books or any specific timeline during the war years and that make me more attentive to details. As for Feredir, he is in a constant struggle with himself. For so long he has had things under control. Heís an elf, plain and simple. The half elf thing is just a term. At least thatís how he sees it. Then along comes Terrwyn who easily brings out his other side and then she tells him heís more human than anything. I think it was a big blow to his ego. What he doesnít realize yet is that he is very unbalanced, turning to one heritage or the other depending on his situation. Ter is the one who can balance him out and stop the conflict. Of course he is too blind to see it that way right now. Iím so glad you like these characters. They are very special to me too and I want them to move people with their thoughts or words or even looks. Again, my passion for them is much stronger because they are mine and I want to portray them in the best possible way. Feredir is absolutely my fav by far. There will be others and I hope they make as big an impact as Fer/Ter do right now. And I see you updated. Yea! Canít wait to get started on it. You know, I spent the better part of an hour writing this response this morning and forgot to copy it before I sent it because the freakiní sight logs you off if there is no activity after a time. I hit submit and nothing happened. Whole darn thing was lost. Pissed me off. Anyways, I am just so excited anything I see your reviews. Your encouragement makes me want to keep doing better. The things you point out tell me that Iím heading in the right direction and I try to focus on them for future chpts. I always say, if Duchess likes it, I must be doing something right.
Over all a nice chapter. I don't have a whole lot to say, I've said most of it all before, but again you show us the interesting dynamic O and Fer have. They're alike in some ways and very different in others.
Fighting the Easterlings was a fun and different way to jazz things up.
As always excellent spelling and puncuation, blah blah blah. That's rarely ever an issue with you, considering how much you write.
Do you LJ? Heard anything new about Faerie? I stillcan't get into it, so I dropped a quick email to Sian to see what was up.
Oh! and I heard that the Dolphins are the one team no one wants to play right now. Things must be looking up there! lol
Author's Response: I know it's not very exciting, but not every chapter can be. Still, it will lead to other things. Anyways, I don't LJ 'cuz I had some trouble figuring things out and gave up. I haven't heard a word about Faerie and can't imagine the owner giving up on it so soon in its development, but who knows. If you hear anything, please let me know. And as far as the Dolphins are concerned, they haven't looked too bad lately. They've had some good games. It's too late this season, but I'm hoping it's a sign of things to come for next year. Hey, at least we're not as bad as the Colts, LOL.
So Feredir is ambitious, huh? Not really a suprise, but that sentence seem a little forboding. Boromir was ambitious too and look what happened to him! I wonder what he desires? Money, power, prestige, respect? I like the idea of him in black, too; dark like his personality. What a taciturn ass he is, but Terr doesn't let him get under her skin.
I loved the picture you painted of Terr boiling laundry over the caldron! Seems like a good choice for her to work with the healer. I thought for sure the Healer would be some old dour man who suffered from rheumatism or something. Nice choice to make him charming and rather dashing. I loved the story about how he met his wife. It really brings him to life, shows me what kind of man he really is.
Really liking Feredir. I'm learning something new about him all the time. I like his rough edge; that brash abrasive part, like coarse sandpaper. He would definately be the kind of man she needs. Her personality is too strong. She would push a less arrogant guy around (hey, even Ros had an arrogant streak in him). Really, I wouldn't be suprised if he had a bit of cruelty or viciousness in him too. It's kinda hard to reign in a strong male character- a reckless, ambitious, taciturn, ornery man would find mercy and understanding and compassion arduous to practice. It's not easy to keep them from killing their enemies in cold blood. I suppose that's why the need a woman, to balance those urges! Although, I bet he's a fantastic lover!
Author's Response: Oh goodness, well, Boromir was influenced by an evil weapon too. Feredir is only a danger to himself, and maybe an orc here and there, lol. As the story moves along, you will see why he is the way he is. Glad you were surprised by the healer character. I think he adds an air of elvishness to the whole thing. Afterall,she wanted to meet the elves, she got elves. Yes, Terrwyn can stick up for herself and she may be a bit stubborn too. She can be kind and loving, but also knows how to get under someones skin, dig in and not let go, as Feredir will find out along the way. They will get on each other's nerves and cause some friction, but friction produces heat also (he he heee).
Well, I guess I was right about Rhav! lol! I didnt' expect her to be Captain of the Gaurd though. That's cool! And again you and I are on the same wave length because I was thinking about doing a E/L where she is Captain of the Gaurd or some sort of High military commander. There's another whole set of stories there for Rhav!
I like how Rhav finds out about Terr through reports. Maybe it's just because of the potential of spies lingering out there somewhere, but it gives Rhav a reason to detain Terr without bogging the story down in the minutia of who reported or how the info got there.
Of course I like the part you worked in there about threats against Aragorn and those who didn't agree with him being king and all!
The whole ending here sounds a little ominous again. I tell you what, one thing you're excellent at is building tension. Tension I can feel, that makes my heart race and want to read on. I bet you'd make a good mystery writer.
Your characters always seem well developed, like you don't play god with them and march them around the stage to your own drumbeat. The always seem consistant. I'm begining to wonder if you ever have writer's block, because you do have such consistancy in your voice and character development.
Author's Response: I think we both write our women in a similar fashion. We don't want them weak and pouting, that's for sure. I can definitely see Loth in that kind of position and I'm sure some of the men wouldn't mind being under her command also, *wink*. You know, that's exactly what I thought when writing Rhav into this story. It just opened up a whole new avenue of adventures for her. The whole 'threats against Aragorn and his family' thing could prove to be some kind of mystery solving story with Rhav as the lead. Something to think about. I'm glad the tension comes across. I really do enjoy writing it because it always flows out so easily for me, as opposed to other situations. And yes, I do get writers block. I just did recently, wondering if I was making one of my characters' change of heart move along too quickly. They all have their own personalities and I want to make sure they are not behaving too far off the mark. But for the main part, they speak to me as I write for them and tell me what they would or would not do. And sometimes as I try to get them to behave a certain way, they will not cooperate and I cannot force it. That's when I know I need to stop and rethink things. It's a very strange relationship between an author and their characters, but a lot of fun too.
I love cliff hangers! But I want the next chapter right now!
It seems you worked your last story into this story and I think that's great!
I'm really hoping this chapter will lead into a separate Taldred Lindiel romance!
Half the fun of writing fanfiction is coming up with your own characters and populating the world with them to interact with canon characters. Personally, I think the other half of the fun is coming up with cool dresses for the heroine to wear... or possibly the sex. I look forward to this story soo much!
Author's Response: HAHAHAA!! You remind me of Veruca Salt from Willi Wonka, "I want it now!" I promise not to make you wait long. And yes, I have worked a lot of characters from Taming into this one. When I first started writing it, the timeline just seemed to match up really well, and I love some of those guys from Taming. I just couldn't let them go yet. Just so you know, I do have ideas for Taldred and Lindiel. I really want to write their story as well as some others that you have yet to meet. My best friend and I always say that there were more than the 30 characters or so that Tolkien invented that made up Middle-earth. They all have stories and adventures of their own and it is fun to come up with them. Writing the sex it great too, though I have to admit, I hate having to come up with clothes descriptions. I know it's important at times, but it is my pet peeve. Care to be my costume designer? LOL
Honey, this is what storytelling is. You have the storytelling natural abiltiy. How long have I been reading your stuff now? A little while and I can see the progression in your style and your voice. I think your voice is becoming stronger and more confident. This chapter was a great example of showing rather than telling. You've got some good descripters in here... he shot down the ladder... said in a more serious tone... and there were other ones. Just by adding a a different action word, you totally change the tone and how I picture the scene.
Did you make up that story about the Whispering wood? If so it was great. That's what's great about fiction...eh... i'll just make some shit up and just roll with it, you know!! And that whole paragraph where he describes what Minas Tirith is like is wonderful, really setting us up for what you envision the city like and from a first hand account through Rosloch instead of just the narrator telling the reader.
Personally, I love supporting characters. They can make a mediocre story great... Look at some tv shows. And I love to know their stories too! I mean, they are real people, or at least we should treat them like real people instead of just cardboard cutouts. So, yah, I like that you told us a bit about Rosloch. He's so much more three dementional that way.
One thing you are excellent at is creating believable, real, flawed characters with yearning. There's a lot of good stories out there with good storylines or plots and uninteresting people just sort of playing their parts. It never seems like you play god with your people; forcing them to do something they don't want to do.
I've said before, whatever "it" is... I think you have it. and the only way you will be a better storyteller is to keep writing!!
Very good job!
I was on DG's website and found this link really interesting. Was good and helped me understand things from a different perspective so i'll post it here if you want to read it.
got to other projects and click on Cannibal's Art. It's really good
Author's Response: Sorry for taking so long to respond, but I am still on vacation. If you want to know where, look at my bio, lol. If you read the review above from Lisse, she tells me this all the time. So to here you say these things too just makes me feel doubly good. Her encouragement and support have a lot to do with my advancement (though she would say no), and so have you. Your reviews have helped me so much and your reading suggestion also. So I just have to say thank you for your constant support. Now, as far as the Whispering Wood, I found as much info on Firien Wood as I could and found a mention of the close growing trees by the Mearing stream. It really was nicknamed the Whispering Wood because of this. I also found that the beacon-wardens lived in huts in the trees, but no description of them. That part I envisioned the best I could. I'm glad Rosloch is growing on you. He will play an important part for a short while. As far as my other characters, main or secondary, they are all important to me. They all have a voice and if they are important enough to mention them in a story, they should be as real as they need to be to push the story forward. I also went to the website you suggested and loved what she says. I don't know how, but everything she said seems just naturally the way it should be when writing. I was so excited to see that because I just love DG. If I could write like anyone, it would be her. I also see her influence in your writing as well. I don't think I'll ever stop writing. It is a part of me, too deeply embedded in my blood to stop now. And with friends like you and Lisse to keep pushing me forward, it makes this even more satisfying. Thank you so much.