Hello,

the descriptive prose thus far is excellent, and your depictions of medieval burial methods (following large-scale battle), the environment, and the social/judicial restructuring following the West's victory over Sauron give the first half of thei chapter depth and authenticity. Love it.

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I'm not a fan of Arwen, m'dear, regardless of who writes her. She's just not my cup of teas (too perfect/boring/annoying). And though I love the characterisation of Wormwood, not even your excellent writing skills have the power to sway my opinion on that point, or read her tale further. So sorry!

Might I iffer a tip for the future, though, as one author to another? Elvish vernacular! Awen and Luthilla's dialogue in this chapter struck me as more contemporary American than Middle-earth Westron. And I don't truly believe that Elrond would dissaprove of his beloved daughter's friend simply because she wasn't royal; he's just not elitist/sbobby enough for that.

You don't have a story featuring Wormwood, though, do you? Because - honestly - he is one of the most intriguing OCs I've ever read. You portray his character so vividly that I, as a reader, can't help being drawn to him. Funny how all the cads have 'worm' in their names, isn't it? Wormtongue, Wormtail, Wormwood ...

All the best,

Kara's Aunty ;)

Hello luthien85,

I do like Haldir. He always appealed to me more than Legolas - there's just something about him ... So I enjoyed this wee mixture of prose and poetry from his pov. Very touching to see an emotive chink in his armour. Poor elf! Kara's Aunty ;)

Author's Response: In my story the Heart of Stone, there were certain events that caused the chink. So honestly i think if it were to happen in reality to his, the marchwarden and haldir would be two different person trapped in one sexy body :)

Hello FrodoLuver1,

gosh, it's daunting writing that first story, isn't it? You're not sure how to tackle it, or if it will make sense, or if people will read and enjoy it. And, having posted it, you find yourself sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for that first review (and hoping it's not a bad one). 

So well done to you for writing and posting this in the first place! 

As for the fic itself: you tackled a difficult subject for your first fic, and I admire your courage for it! Poor Frodo, having lost his parents so tragically and at such a young age. And being with that very unpleasant Miss Honeysuckle when he heard the news, too. I felt very sorry for him.

You might want to think about developing the scene a little more, though, because (in this fic) Frodo was barely informed of his parents' deaths (by some random stranger) when he was packed off to Brandy Hall. It would have been better for Frodo to have a relative from Brandy Hall tell him what happened, and to be with him when he grieved. Hobbit families are generally close-knit, so this would be more in keeping with their ways.

You do need to work on grammar and spelling, m'dear. and there were some contemporary words in the fic that I don't believe hobbits would have used (hon, sweetie, vitamins).

Don't worry about the criticisms too much just now - plot and character development, grammar, etc are all things that will improve as your writing develops. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about - my first story wasn't structured nearly as well as yours ... 

Best of luck with your writing, and I'm glad to welcome another writer of hobbit fics to the world of lote fandom.

Kara's Aunty ;)

Wow. Florien's an arse isn't he? She's well shot of him, IMO.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing!!! I agree he is an arse and he deserved every slap!!