Tee hee hee. Loved the last line. :)
I loved the story aspect of Eowyn's thoughts- "fearing Grima's caress":)- but I think the poetry aspect could be better if you structured it. I loved it anyway, and the last part- so sweet.
Author's Response: hey thanks for the review, glad you liked it. can you explain the structure bit of your comment, any more hints as this was my first poem and i want to improve. ta again x
At first I thought it could be better structured (by "structured", I meant with a rhyme scheme), but reading it again, I think it's better in free verse. It stays in touch with the story and Eowyn's emotions better this way. The only way I can think of that you might improve it is edit the parts that seem forced. This felt somewhat forced to me: "We had seen evidence of the plundering, burning and destroying and we all hoped desperately our men would be returning.
Even then my thoughts were churning.
The idea forming both exhilarating and concerning."
but a lot of the rhymes were really good: "I thrust my faithful sword and my aim is true.
His reign is ended but as my eyes darken it seems my life is too." is one example.
Author's Response: thanks for the more indepth feedback, i'm grateful for the hints and glad you like most of the poem. i'll take your advice into account when writing more poetry in the future. x elfenears
I really like your characters. :D
I haven't read the complete story yet, though.
I think this will be really good. I'm a fan of the Mouth.
Love this AU. Particularly love your portrayal of the Witch-King.=)
Author's Response: Thank you. I love the Witch-king, he's just such an interesting character with plenty of scope for interpretation, this story has just been begging to be written.
Interesting insight on what it would be like to be a young hobbit. Good job.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I Enjoyed writing it and am delighted you njoyed reading it ! R o B x D
Like it, very well-written battle. And detailed: "Blood sprayed all over the ground." =)
The one thing you could improve on is spacing out the paragraphs. It would be easier to read that way.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I will space it more which hopefully will make it easier to read !
Good story... but sad. Very unique. =)
I'm liking this; I haven't read it all yet, though, but I intend to. Cute story. =)
Merry and Poppin are hilarious. Good action, too. And I'm liking the Frodo/Annabelle/Legolas triangle. =)
Author's Response: thanks! i still don't know who Annabelle will choose because Legolas is the good-looking, immortal elf, but she's known Frodo longer and he's pretty much her best friend. decisions, decisions...
I think this will be a good story. The undying lands are interesting.