You have come highly recommended by my friend L8bluemer. I like the intro to your story enough to read it in its own right w/o a recommendation. I am not a cannon purist and believe Elves swore and indulged their flesh as humans did. Thinking creatures with souls do not always choose the noblest or purest path. Stories that are real are stories we can relate to, stories that interest us. I am looking forward to joining your adventure. I joined the site simply to read and review. I do not believe in reading w/o a review. Saying nothing means you felt nothing. If I were an author I would rather have someone say they hated my character and give me a reason rather than say nothing.
Author's Response: Well hello and thank you for reading! I've probably addressed this in another review, but i'm not entirely happy with the first couple chapters and plan to rewrite them. I feel they are a little wooden. You're your own worse critic, eh? We are in agreement about human nature. I believe the cannon is there as an outline. It is what happened, but were there are gaps people will always ask what happened? The last thing i want to read in another E/L were she works in the house of healing or it's an arranged marriage or she's Eowyn lady in waiting and Eomer is some white knight. That is not interesting! And who's to say this story would be incorrect. You can ask two people to read the same story and they will both have different intrepretaions of it. Limiting yourself into these stereotypes makes for dreadfully dull characters and uninteresting plots.Too many are terribly myopic about cannon and charactarization. Dont' get boxed in! think outside the box! So many treat Middle earth as if it were a real place. If we're going to go with this idea, then let's go with it! Tolkien said it was an intreprtaion or a transalation, then why can't this be also? I'm telling a story. Men are men! Women are women!Of course they swear and curse and have histories and hang ups and are sexual beings! If they didn't no one would care about them! People are not logical. They are inherently illogical. I do sincerely appreciate all reviews! I too would have someone tell me what they didn't like or make suggestions as to improvements rather than say nothing at all. What I do hope is that you are entertained. Even when I'm writing something philosphical, or as philosphical as a cleaning lady from the rural boonies of Wisconsin can be, I still want it to be fun and interesting to read. Warning: I'm verbose and wordy. Sorry about that! LOL! Hope you will continue reading. thanks!
You mentioned you thought your first chapters were wooden. Not so. You should not change a thing. I feel I know Loti well. What a tragic life. You have accomplished your goal. This is very real. I feel all of her despair. I admire her ability to find a reason to keep going in the possibility of a love so strong it will change the world, as you say. You did a marvelous job with her mother. We are tempted to hate her. But I found I no longer could when I saw how much she wanted a better life, and love for her daughter, however misguided her effort.
There is so much I like here that I could not possibly mention it all without writing a review longer than your story.
I just have to say how well done the horrid scene with fat fingers was…then to find she was not alone, but one of many young victims.
Again, real. Exploitation of vulnerable young people happens every day from time immemorial, to the present day. It is hard to look at. That is why it is allowed to happen.
You can be very proud of your work. I am looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Wow! And Thanks! I'm extremely flattered!I believe all people, no matter how evil or what terrible things they might have done, have redeeming qualities. Some may be hard to find and you might have to do alot of looking but they are there. Sounds a little Pollyanna, but hey...You know, one thing I haaaate are rape fantasies, like pretty much anything Kathleen Woodiwiess has written. How falls in love with a man who does that?! I didn't want it to be anything erotic or sexually exciting. But I did want it to be cruel, like an end of innocence and maybe, like, they end of dreams or of "normal" life. I didn't want to dwell on it and I did want to be tasteful. I absolutely agree with your explaination of exploitation. Many turn a blind eye to it and say it's not my problem or what can I do about it? And yes exploitation and manipulation of those who are most vulnerable will always happen under those who desire absolute power. Dividing and separating those who are weakest will make them more compliant. On the other hand, exploitation and manipulation can work to the good too. A General or a King, like Eomer who is genuinely a good man, coerces and encourages an army of individuls into a single homogenious fighting unit to accomplishing something worthwhile. Like building a road or protecting his people. Maybe he does it through pay, or praise or intimidation, but he does it for the benefit of all. I hope this makes sense.. I'm a little tired! LOL Thanks for Reading and I hope you are entertained.
"He stood and the stars crowned his head" What few words will do when you are in controle of them Zig. I read about one half of this chapter but had to stop in the middle to say I loved this. What an image it gives
I am in awe! You are wonderful.
Author's Response: (Blush) Nice of you to say so - but Anarithilen is really important in this, she has made me so much better than I was. But I liked that image too so thank you for picking it out.
A well named chapter. An excellent author takes a reader through a gamete of emotions. And once more you prove yourself to be excellent here because that is exactly what you do for us. You show us life in both joy and despair. You have handled a difficult scene perfectly. You let us see a bit of the souls of all your characters here. This includes the lovably gruff Gimli. He is really just a softy isn’t he? I love your Gimli. He is so concerned about Legolas and wants to protect him. That’s the way Gimli, just bash your rival in the head with an ax and drag the woman away by the hair. Legolas is right, wouldn’t work for an elf.
Legolas respect for life touches me. He has a deep and loving soul. No wonder his friends love him, and Rhaviniel does too. The exchange between Legolas and Rhav is bitter sweet. I sometimes wonder how many more disappointments Legolas can take. Still, Rhav has her two men on the battle field and has kissed them both. A warrior she is, but also an elfmaid after my heart. How could a girl help but want both for their own unique beauty?
She feels Haldir’s pleasure, and unfortunately his pain. The slow motion run to him as he falls is so nightmare-ish. She knows she’s never going to make it.
Legolas still has an elvish connection with his one true love. He can go to her, but can he help her? Or will this simply be another heart break for him as he sees a noble warrior’s life end and his Rhav grieve over the loss of one she loved?
This is a hard scene for all involved. This is war.
Go gently into that good night Haldir
Author's Response: These next couple chapters will prove to be a tough thing for all. War is not pretty and sometimes those we care about will perish. But life goes on and Rhav knows that more than anyone. Glad you like Gimli. He comes along just when you need a little reprieve from all the seriousness. Rhav was connected to Haldir more than she thought. And I thought the one thing she would feel more than his pleasure was his pain. That's what the warrior bond is about, unfortunately. But Legolas is still deep within her heart and that will never change no matter how close or far apart they are.
Another great chapter. Rhav and Legolas together at last(on the battle field). You thought of everything here. I enjoyed your take on the black gates, The destruction of Sauron, and the eagles rescue of Sam and Frodo. Now everyone can take a break before a new Kingdom is built. Enjoyed it as always!
Author's Response: I was pretty battled out by the time I got to this part. I'm glad it came across. And yes, they can all take some much deserved time off, some more than others. *wink wink* ; - )
Absolutely beautiful. You could write the phone book and I would be in awe.
Eowyn would have to have suffered brain damage by being kicked in the head by a horse in order to pass up your Legolas.
Zig you deserve a pay check for your lovely writing, but all I can give you is my thanks!
Author's Response: What a lovely thing to say - thank you. Don't worry, Eowyn is no fool. Next chapter will be up soon. And thanks is good enough.
Wow! You have written my every elvish fantasy, almost. I absolutely loved it! Legolas as you portray him is the most awesomely sexy being in the first place, when he is not doing anything sexual. This is almost too much. YOU are amazing and I LOVE your writing!
I had an great treat this Sunday morning. Wonderful reading from you and L8bleumer!
Author's Response: Yes- mine too! I have to say I am completely in lust with Legolas - so its easy writing this!! And thank you for commenting- nice to know you are enjoying it. Love Ziggy
Oh I just had to add; Legolas is asking if he is boring? I should be so bored! That made me laugh. I also laughed at legolas standing naked on the ledge. I hope for the sake of those watching he was on the courtyard wall. Anyone watching might be tempted to endanger life and limb by trying to climb the wall!
Author's Response: made me laugh! Fangurrrls climbing up the wall- I know I would!