As the beta, I can attest it *is* a lovely chapter. Unfortunately, it did not take. Please repost. :)
Author's Response: Ugh, computer's right? I fixed it, thank you very much for helping me out. :)
It's a good start, but you're not giving much to work with, review wise. :))
More, please. And yes, romance is always good.
Hmmm, per title, how about "Where The Leafs Fall"?
Author's Response: I like it.
I wonder what will happen next? :))
Will Maria get a taste of her own experience so to speak, by having Legolas (Lucas) walk in on them? :P
Author's Response: Perhaps ....
Ooooooh, I like the way it started, and I thank thee for going to add a well needed NC17 here. I absolutely love ellon/adaneth action, especially modern day gals! :)
If you're looking for a beta, I'll be happy to oblige. Just send me an e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You're def. keeping the momentum - another lovely chapter! :)
A few comments if I may, for you to consider incorporating for a better flowing chapter:
1- The term for lembas is waybread not wey bread.
2- The kitchen was stocked with stainless steel appliances not outfitted.
3- One is setting the plates on the table, not fixing them - I presume they were not broken? ;)
4- Last but not least - Maria eyed the food on her plate, not eyes.
Also a proposed stylistic change: Haldir is the epitamy of proper speech and diction. I simply cannot imagine him say "won't". I would use "will not". Of course - your story and your Haldir, but please reconsider? J
Once again thanks for another lovely chapter.
(my offer to beta still stands, if you wish)