I loved this story, it moved me and also got my kinda hot, great combination.
Well the story was a little cheesy, like the fact that the girl is so pretty she radiates a light that makes him look away. Also your use of verbs is very off. You go from past to present in one sentence, like when you wrote "Legolas moaned with pleasure...he feels the throbbing" that's not the right use of verbs, instead it should have been he felt the throbbing or he moans. That threw me off a bit, the story was alright. It did have a good plot.