I like the premise for the story and you seem to convey your thoughts very well. I hope more chapters will be updloaded soon.
There is a bit of a problem with grammar and spelling, however. It happens to all of us and that's why it's a good idea to proof and edit a few times.
You also might want to use new paragraphs for dialogue. That makes it a lot clearer and easier to read.
I was a little sceptical when I began reading this. Oh how the mighty fall. Your writing really grabbed me from the beginning. Well written, good descriptions.
I love Sailor Moon and a LotR/SM crossover is pretty original.
However, I have a little suggestion. Not all know the background story of Sailor Moon or indeed who or what she is. You covered the basics very well in the story but I think a bit more information would be useful.
IPerhaps something along the lines of an introduction? Something separate from the story, I mean. I realize that this creates additional work for you but I really think the story would benefit from it.
I love the tension and the excitement. Can't wait for an update.
A/N are a little bit distracting in the middle of a chapter. There were also a few errors but nothing major; more along the lines of a few missed commas.
*impatiently waits for a new chapter*
Yup, you got me addicted to Anita Blake now. Move over, Anne Rice, there's a nw vampire bitch in town ;) Let me give you a hint as to who she is...Her name begins with a J.
Great descriptions, love it!
Vampire *drool* French vampire *faints*
Bonjour Mlle Sandman! I am not going to be leaving a review for each chapter though they are well worth it. I'll just stick to the first one if that's all right with you. You don't like compliments, I know. You know what? For 1 second, deal with them, please :) OFUM is a brilliant creation. It's funny, sarastic, ironic, sad...It's everything and I no longer see Tolkien's characters as these mystical beings. You made them so much more real and so much more...human. You're a really talented writer and it shows. I hope you never stop writing and I hope I shall never stop reading your stories.
And my favourite saga came to an end. I know that there's still Pt. II but I still got a little teary. Silly me, yes, I know!
I was crying when I finished reading this. C'etait magnifique! It was raw emotion and...and...and...I want to say so much but somehow, I think you already know everything I want to say.
Just started reading this and I am *hooked*. Oh to have more time to read your stories...
Interesting idea but it is not very Middle-Earth friendly. It might be better if you gave it an AU warning.
Everything seems fine with the grammar and spelling. Arwen seems to be speaking in a modern lingo, however. Modernisms like "wow" are a little bit jarring in your story. Everything else seems fine though!
Once again I am asking you to respect your reviewers. Please notice that Noldo's comments are actually quite helpful and are far from flames.
We're trying to help you but you consistently ignore all of our suggestions. Might I point out that they are *not* flames.
Please check your stories. There are too many mistakes. The latest rule update on the main page *clearly* states that there should not be any errors grammatic or otherwise.
This story could become quite good because of the powerful subject. However, you might want to make sure that spelling and grammar are all set. It happens to all of us, just proofread.
Correct me if I am wrong but from what I've read, the female elves were actually quite powerful in their own right. Though Tolkien doesn't dwell too much on that subject in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, it's really detailed in The Silmarillion. I understand what you mean about the author having the ultimate right to do whatever in the stories they write. *However*, changing the history of the Moriquendi Elves isn't particularly successful unless one knows the history of the Elves backwards and forwards.
Please update soon. I want to know where this is going... You might want to skip A/N in the middle of a chapter. It can be quite distracting. Instead put them in the very beginning before the chapter starts on in the very very end.
This story has a few grammatical and spelling errors. You might want to triple-check to make sure you got everything. Also having someone beta read it for you could be a very good idea. It's a bit hard to read sometimes. Use new paragraphs for dialogue; that will make it easier. You say that Brittani is in a coma but there's no introduction, no details. We are all of a sudden in her dream. Some background information might be good.
In my last review, I asked you to please be careful in your editing. You see, I'm trying to help you, however you're ignoring every constructive criticism that comes your way.
Please get a beta reader for this story. It's impossible to read because of the paragraphs so tightly crammed together.
Please pay careful attention to your mistakes and *please* try to fix them. If you cannot, ask someone to help. That's the whole point of a beta.
I assume you've read the LotR trilogy as well as The Silmarillion? Believe me, those books will give you the information you need in writing these stories. They'll also explain why it's not possible for Elrond to have another daughter or niece or grandaughter.
If you have a problem with any of my comments, by all means feel free to contact me.
Is her name "Angel" on "Angle"?
What's a "bar"? That would be a "bra", no?Also, I have never heard of an "Hour of Sing". I'm a bit confused on that one.
"Wooden steal (would that be "steel" by any chance?) handle" is a little odd. It's either made from wood or steel. Which one is it?
It's not "Los Angels" but "Los Angeles".
Petty little mistakes like these make your stories impossible to read. If you need a beta, please e-mail me. Contrary to the popular belief I don't bite.
This is the first time I've ever read your work and what can I say...I *love* it. Now I understand why Adora raves about you all the time.
The story was simply lovely and reading about Legolas when he was a child it really cute. I think you captured his personality perfectly. Besides, it was such a pleasure to read a story where there's no Evil!Thranduil or Evil!LĂÆĂÂșnned.
Loved it, loved it, loved it!
This story seems to start out realistically enough. I have a few questions for you, however.
You might want to put some space between Author's Notes and the actual beginning of your story. Otherwise it's unclear where what ends and begins.
Strategically placed trees? That doesn't really make much sense. Is Jenine hiding from someone and these trees are "aiding" her? The definition of strategic placement is that no one would be able to see you and cause you harm in any way. You might want to rethink the phrasing.
Run on sentences. Don't be afraid of commas, they're your friends. I'm not saying to go crazy but it might work to break up a few sentences, especially in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. It'd flow a lot easier then.
Capital letters is not a good idea. We get it that the character is upset. If you want, use italics or bold font, but caps is very jarring.
Don't put in little phrases ( Okay, I lied; the doornail has several IQ points on him.) in the middle of the story. It's very distracting.
I will continue reading your story. You seem to have a good grasp on your ideas. Keep an eye on your grammar and you'll be fine.
Author's Response: There is plenty of space, it's not necessary to put more in because I start out with the character's name. "Strategically placed trees" is a way of phrasing and describing exactly how the trees are look. It's the best way I can put it to get the exact imaging I want. I'm sorry if it confuses you in some way. The word does have more meanings than being associated spying and whatnot. I appreciate the comment about the run-ons. I'll keep it in mind. The capital letters ARE a good idea, especially if you really ARE yelling. The little phrases you refer to are mearly a way to give author insight with out taking away from the story. They're a stylistic thing and if they confuse you then, I'm sorry. I'm not changing them and if you don't like them, I suggest you avoid "We Were Just Friends"; it's frought with them. I hope you do continue reading the story and it wouldn't hurt to put in some positive comments as well as "helpful hints" if you feel it necessary to continue your review. Also, it might be a good idea to rate the stories on the content more than the flaws. Believe it or not, your rating DOES have an effect on the writer's opinion of their story, ESPECIALLY if it's the first review of the story. I know there are a few minor flaws but those flaws are not terribly distracting from the story so if you could keep the the flaws AND the content of the story in mind when you rate the story itself, it'd be appreciated. Also, we're not professionals and we don't claim to be so please, try not to treat these stories as like they should be professional quality because odds are they won't be.
YAY, I can finally review for you *hugs*. Welcome to the site at last. This is one of my favourite stories, too cute. Can't wait to read more of your work.
Author's Response: Thank you, more to come! *hugs back*
Yesss! You finally posted. Yippee. Love it, love it, love it. Even though I read the whole thing, it's like I'm reading it for the first time all over again. More, I want moore *grin*