She better not be after Faramir! *gives murderous glare* Ah, a chilling morality tale of the danger of having too many children. Or having Sues in general. The dream was particular evil. Don't do that again or I might hunt you.

Author's Response: *bows* I thanketh thou humbly for considering the dream so disturbing... I think. ^_^! But you know Sues, if it's male, they wants it... Oh, well. Thanks!

It felt right to have Faramir have this dream, and it was described lovely. The characters are themselves, though the language is slightly less archaic than Tolkien, this doesn't really bother. It works. My only real niggle is that the use of ellipses feels a bit too much and the quotes jump a bit between European styles ("" instead of having one down and one up). But those are minor things. Overall, I liked.

Hey, your friendly neighbourhood moderator here. Your first chapter title has a little typo "Vapire" instead of Vampire. Might want to fix that. Also, quotes are like this: "Hi," he said. You use comma when a quote is followed by "he said/she said/she murmured" etc. You also overdo a bit on the commas. Either way, good luck with the rest of the story! (And don't hurt poor Will too much, eh?)

Author's Response: soory about the typo, I was in a hurry at that time... and I know that with the comma, it's something that sneaks in from the german grammer which is my first language... I try my best to correct it... oh, and he won't be hurt much more, Physically at least...

It's a kind of story that changes direction a few times and it really is a journey that you can't quite predict. But it's well worth it. A very different story and I'm interested to see where it all ends.

Nice poem. Just a few things - tiny spelling mistake in line two as well as the summary - should be "breathe", not breath. And in the third last line it should be "for you're all I see". Nice tone and feeling to it, though.

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out my spelling mistakes, i'm a horrible speller! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks again

It is most refreshing to read a story with some proper Thranduil characterisation inbetween all the "oh evil, evil Elvenking abusing his son" kind of stories. And much admiration for writing in rhyme - I can't do it. A nice little poem.

Oh dear. To put it bluntly, you have a lot of grammar hiccups in this one. For instance, "*YOUR A NO GOOD HUMAN!*" should be "you're". Your is possessive, as in your house or your story. You're is short for you are, as in you're writing this story. Furthermore, you're missing a lot of punctuation, especially in quotes. œI spoke with Glorfindel today� he said œHe told me about the bullies� should be "I spoke with Glorfindel today," he said. "He told me about the bullies." There's a quite a few like that. And "Sir" is not really a term that would be used in Middle-earth, "my Lord" would be more appropriate. This website requires you to follow certain standards in spelling and grammar. I suggest you get yourself a beta. There's plenty who offer to beta over at the forums here, or you can look elsewhere. It will help your writing a lot, trust me.

You have a few little mistakes that are probably just from not having looked over the story properly and mind your quotation rules (œNamarie,� should be "Namarie." when there is no he said or similar behind it.) Fixing these things would improve your story. Good luck either way!

Author's Response: Ok, I'm not trying to be snotty or mean or anything, but dude, I'm twelve! I'm just now learning all of this quotation rules and junk, so, it's not going to be perfect. Thanks for pointing out that I should go back over it though. One question, did you understand it and did you like it? Thanks for the support. God Bless, Lindariel Rimdur

Hello, your friendly moderator here. You have a few spelling and grammar issues you might want to weed out (for instance, chapter two should be titled "Massacre" and quotes are done like this - "Hello," Merry said - with commas, not full stops. Also, Legolas dwelt in Ithilien after the war, though he probably did go home to his father's kingdom now and then. But you might want to mention that to not confuse readers. And Thranduil did not really have a palace, but dwelt in caves. I would actually reccomend you get a beta - many writers have them, me included - and they're a great help. You can ask in the forums if you don't know of any or where to ask. I'll be curious to see who this dark threat is - one of the other wizards or another Maia spirit, perhaps?

Interesting premise. You've obviiusly read the book and dug up what you could find there, which of course doesn't tell the whole story. There's a lot about Smeagol that one has to guess and it's a good idea for a story. I'll be interested to see where you take it - I liked the orc-skull finding and the innocence of it all, knowing where Smeagol will end up. There's a punctuaction hiccups, but nothing major, so it didn't bug me. Good start.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. Please continue reading. I would love to know what you think of the rest of it. The chapters to come need a lot of work and are not as well written as they could be so I need all the advice that I can get.