Most awesome chapter so far in my opinion. Your insight into elves and Rivendell is incredible and you manage to convey it so smoothly, yet not too seriously/tediously; I hung on every word and I loved the paragraphs of detail, even though I'm not usually a fan of sentences devoted to setting, etc. ...wow.
I love the flippancy in her thoughts. Made me giggle a few times re references to Elrond, e.g. 'asap', 'just like a doctor...' sections.
One quibble re the formatting: when you underline words, I always wonder if it's a link and sometimes move my mouse to hover over it. Have you considered presenting those titles in a different format?
Loved the chapter; am looking forward excitedly to more!
Author's Response: Great! Thanks! I love the feedback and I don\'t mind criticism. I took your advice about the underlining and changed it to bold text. Does that work better?
*visits your myspace page* What do you mean, you're not pretty! Huh? Even with a swollen nose, I think you're very pretty. XD
Oo, there's a tiny peeve of mine cropped up. That reference to Legolas beating Gimli at drinking in the films. In 'The Hobbit', the elves get drunk and fall asleep...
Anyway, quibbles aside... more importantly, I loved it. It cracked me up, made me hang on every word, everything... and I love your depiction of Gimli and 'my dog ate it'... and... awesome first aid class description. Yes. *claps*
favourite line: 'and it took all I could do to keep my mind on the task' I bet it did! I fangirled all over the place just at your mention of mouth-to-mouth with an elf. *laughs*
Author's Response: You're sweet Susan. Thanks. I think you got to that last chapter before I had a chance to proofread it. I always reread them several times before posting, then I still catch a few things after.
BTW, the elves in The Hobbit were drinking a very strong wine, the king's own stash if I recall. It could possibly have even been miruvor. The ale of Rohan may not be nearly as strong.
Glad you are enjoying it. I'm almost back to where I left off the first time through. I'm excited, I've been waiting to see what happens next. I begin writing new stuff right after the training with Gimli. Wish me luck!
Author's Response: Crap! Guess I should proofread my responses better too!
Author's Response: Hope that worked. Otherwise I'll never get rid of the bold text.
Well argued. *nods and takes it off peeve list* XD
I'm not sweet. I'm just talking the truth. You don't think enough of yourself, which is extremely endearing... XD
Author's Response: I\'m a bit of a realist; it kind of clashes with my ability to write fantasy. The feedback I\'m getting is helping me to keep my character\'s feet on the ground. The hardest part is writing dialog for characters like Erestor who are so much smarter than I am. Sometimes I have no idea what they are going to say until they say it.
Just so you know, Glorfindel will be coming back into the story. When Aragorn and the hobbits arrive, I won\'t forget about him.
Mwaha! Legolas wrote her a poem! (*_*) Hehe. And Glorfindel's back! *squees* I enjoyed this chapter, though nothing really stood out in particular to me (it struck me as a sort of plateau). I like the fact that she's getting tempted by the ring (good understated dash of something very dark) and that she's battling PMS. ;) Am looking very much forward to the next chapter.
I missed the glossary. What does "Tenna' ento lye omenta" mean?
Author's Response: Whoops. I knew I forgot something. It means \"Until next we meet.\" I\'m using some elvish that isn\'t original Tolkien. I\'m getting it from several websites.
A natural plateau. The calm before the storm, I guess. It just felt natural. Thanks for reading!
Okay, now this is seriously my all new favourite chapter. Awww. I squeed so much over it... and the story is flowing so well! Maybe it's just me, but I feel as if you've kind of relaxed. It flowed really beautifully in this chapter, anyway... and I think I'm running out of novel compliments. *needs a thesaurus* XDXDXD
I think you're portraying Erestor excellently. You know, I've never held him as one of my favourite elvish characters, but I think you've made me fall for him hard. Oh, and Gimli too.
And she's wearing Glorfindel's clothes... courtesy of Erestor! I loved the fact that you didn't let us see into his bedroom. Mwahaha! It heightened the fangirl delight in me. XD
Author's Response: GREAT! I was a little nervous about that one, I had to stop and start a lot.
Actually, I AM more relaxed, both in my writing and in my life. I\'m getting a lot of things organized and my daily mission always calms down in the Fall.
I\'m going to have to start work on a \"stylesheet\" before I get too much further into the story. A stylesheet is basically a list of characters with their major characteristics, it keeps an author from accidentally changing the spelling of a word or name or someone\'s eye color.
I\'m glad you are enjoying my portrayal of the characters. It\'s kind hard because they are smarter than I am most of the time. 8-)
Wha...? Have to slow down to make a stylesheet for characters? Noo! *stabstabstabs desk impatiently with pens* Hurry up! Hurry up! No time to lose! ("\(.:...:.)/") RAWR!
Hehe. I understand. You take as long as you need... and be comfy... and I'll just stay at the door... waiting, hoping... knitting my cat claws into the woodwork. *scratch scratch* Aha!
*is hyper at the moment, by the way ;)*
Author's Response: It\'s good to be hyper. I\'m writing right now. She\'s at the tailor and Legolas and his party are about to arrive in Rivendell. I can\'t wait to see how this turns out! I\'m about as hyper as you are.
Loved it, as always, and have stabbed my pen through the top layer of my desk and am still stabbing impatiently XDXDXD. I'm delighted at the sudden and very nasty twist. I expected it, from reading the title and deducing what she'd said in the previous chapter, but it still affected me. Hey, this whole story is affecting me. XD
Love the quirky tailor and the line: "These clothes belong to Glorfindel and Im afraid Im stretching them in all the wrong places." That just cracked me up so much. XD
I have a question about this sentence: "Only the Valar know how your story will end." I thought not even the Valar knew what was certain in the future. Only Eru knew... and maybe a very few select Valar who rarely shared their knowledge... (?_?) It'd be like saying: "Hey, you knew all these people were going to die, you knew how to warn them, and you did nothing to stop it?" ^^;
Author's Response: Legolas lightens up considerably in the next chapter. I feel the same way about him that you do about Glorfindel. I couldn\'t stand for him to be mad at her. There will be another nasty twist that will leave her and Galadriel at odds with Elrond, Gandalf, Erestor, Aragorn and Legolas. But that will be a couple of chapters from now.
Glorfindel will show up again soon; I know you\'ll like that.
As for the Valar, a lot of people have the same complaint about God. You\'re probably right about them, though. It sounded good when I worte it. Maybe he was referring to where her f√É∆í√ā¬ęa will end up? I don\'t know. The characters often say things I don\'t understand. Should I change it to \"Only Eru knows how your story will end\"?
Hm. I think that "Only Eru knows how your story will end" is better than "Only the Valar know how your story will end." Maybe write something similar to what Gandalf says in the movie to Frodo: "For not even the wise can see all ends." At least then you can lean on the movie script for justification. XD *can't remember whether a similar line is in the books*
Alternatively, scrap the sentence and leave it with an even more pronounced sensation of not being able to see to the bottom of the water? XD
Author's Response: Oh hell. Maybe I\'ll just leave it. Read the next chapter. You\'ll recognize something I got from you!
WHOA! *hands over heart* Seriously, now I know one reason why I tend not to go out of my way to read or write Mary-Sue stories although I really have nothing against them and I usually enjoy them very much. Wowie! It was like suffocating in your fic... suffocating in my fan girl daze. XDXDXD And you know, your 'the end' was perfectly placed at the bottom of my window when I noticed it. I almost had a heart attack! You cruel woman! *laughs* I love you!
Which bit did you get from me? I'm afraid I didn't pick it up. Gomen. ^^; The Legolas getting a little bit tipsy and happy to kiss you? Man, I half thought you were going to turn him into a womanizer (a twist that I don't think I'd mind at all - XD), but I really like how you showed him. I always saw book Legolas as more of a hyperactive, mischievous, well-intentioned child and your portrayal fit very nicely into my own perception of him. Oh, his sweet tooth! *suddenly wonders if he has any dental problems*
By the way, I forgot to note down that I like your pet name for the cat. Within moments of reading that name in chapter sixteen, I dragged my T.S. Eliot book off the shelf. "Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Half-Elf's spy--
For he's Lord Elrond's favourite pet who can mislead the eye.
He's the bafflement of Elrond's guests, and secrecy's despair:
For when there is a mystery--Macavity's always there." Hehe. See what you make me write. Anyway... (^_~) I loved this chapter, even if I felt as if I was about to fall very sick from some kind of overdose on something very fannish. XDXDXD I look forward excitedly to more... and more... and more... (hopefully!). Wonderful work! \(^_^)/
Author's Response: I was hoping \"The end\" would get someone! LOL!
It was the discussion we [you and I] had about the wine that prompted the discussion about the wine between Elaura and Legolas. Glad you like him. I always thought of him as a bit of a big kid, too.
Your poem is GREAT! Just like Macavity. Don\'t worry about getting another overdose of Mary-Sue, though. By the time Frodo wakes up, things are going to change for the worse for our heroine.
This chapter is absolutely hilarious and wonderful. I laughed so hard, starting from Glorfindel's letter. My first thought on reading it was: "Damn, so she really did stretch them."
Then Legolas's confession. And then... the twist! Wow! And the "Its back to √Ö‚Äúmy Lady√ā¬Ě for you, your majesty!" *laughs* Totally wasn't expecting that she'd have to go to Mirkwood, but I can see it working out very well. *nodsnodsnods*
Adored the last line.
Author's Response: Hoped you\'d like it. There\'s more Glorfindel in the next chapter, hold on to your knickers.
Yes, she did stretch them, I\'m glad you picked that up.
Thanks for the review, keep reading!
I lurrrv you for putting in a chapter with Glorfindel as main secondary character. Ah, Glorfindel - loved the 'cleared his throat' when you gave the dummy a groin whammy. (*_*) Ah, Legolas. (*_*) Ah, Aragorn. (*_*) Ah, Erestor's question. (*_*) All the apologies were dealt with in such a squeeable admirable way. *fangirls* I really shouldn't read and review fics so late because I can't think straight or particularly intelligently. Gomen.
And I really like the way you place the English translation in brackets next to the elvish. It's considerably more helpful than the "bottom of the page glossary". Thanks for that.
Is much-loved Elaura-Mary-Sue going to take any of the Rivendell elves with her to Mirkwood? Or are you going to make do with OCs and Thranduil and Gulion? Or is she never going to reach Mirkwood?
Author's Response: Ah, now that would be telling. You are on the right track though.
I think the English translations in the brackets works well, too. Easier to write and proofread.
I had a sick feeling in my stomach until I got all the apologies out of the way, isn\'t that silly?
But I really liked this twist. XDXDXD It roused the fic right up!
I guess she won't be able to train for a bit after this -- pity.
Loved the ear blowing...
Am looking forward to the next chapter and finding out how venom got onto that axe.
Author's Response: Unfortunately I don\'t know yet how the venom got there. Who carries spider venom around? It\'s still a mystery to me.
Glad you\'re enjoying it! She\'s going to be left handed for a while, maybe even permanently.
Distracting Legolas was just too easy. I couldn\'t pass it up.
Thanks for the feedback, keep reading.
Ah, the mystery builds! I look forward to the next chapter! ^_^
Author's Response: Hey! I missed you! Glad you\'re back. Did you enjoy your weekend?
Thankd for the review!
Elaura's reaction... I feel weird calling her Elaura when you, the author, is Elaura. Anyway -- ahem -- Elaura's reaction to the ante... anet... feel good stuff cracked me up. XD
I notice that you've increased the amount of speech as opposed to non-speech. I applaud the fact that I'm not confused by who's speaking... hope you don't forego too much more descriptive detail, though. I enjoy snippets of detail and I think you do it well -- how the characters are standing, sitting, how the light plays, what's the temperature... little things.
Author's Response: You should hear me and my mom talk about it. My real name is Laura. It gets a little confusing!
Thank you so much for your feedback. I tried to include more detail in the next chapter, but it has made it much longer. I hope you don\'t mind. ;-)
√Ö‚ÄúLegolas, youve been in my sickroom for two days. Its got a bed in it, hence a bedroom.√ā¬Ě
This being the elf who goes and kisses a woman on their first outing. *SO CUTE* XD
Nooo! Not another cliff-hanger! Elaura, you're SO cruel! But I love you for it! Hehe! I expect something WONDERFUL in chapter 25 as compensation -- *is kidding, of course*
*hugs* Another wonderful chapter!
By the way, does Legolas know Elaura smokes yet?
Author's Response: I hope you don\'t mind, I used \'This being the elf who goes and kisses a woman on their first outing.\' in the next chapter as well as a short conversation about Elaura\'s smoking habit.
I really appreciate the feedback. You\'ve given me a lot of great ideas! Don\'t worry, Erestor gets his explanation.
Mwahaha! You cheated and used Wikipedia to explain yourself to Erestor! XDXDXD *laughs* I didnt know Elaurad taken the internet to Middle-earth with you. ^_____^
I guess scholarly elves, considering how much they like creating languages and all, would know all the naughty words in the book. *has a mental image of Erestor secretly writing a book of foreign curses in his desk* 'Tis the forbidden book that toy loving elflings and modest elf-princes absolutely must not find! XD And OMG! ELAURA INFECTED MIDDLE-EARTH LITERATURE WITH THE F-WORD! *is high on caffeine*
√Ö‚ÄúI have a doll I sleep with; its a squirrel!√ā¬Ě
*wonders what is the elvish equivalent of a Barbie doll* This reminds me of a story that I wrote called The Little Prince in which toddler Legolas carries around a toy Mirkwood spider. *not meant as a story-plug √Ę‚ā¨Ňď only meant to amuse*
The sexual innuendo between Legolas, Elaura, Boromir, and Aragorn was very squeeable -- I enjoyed it. Legolas certainly gets his modesty teased in this chapter. Its lovely to see that Elauras settled down, her self-confidence is restored (to the point of sometimes bossiness XD), and shes relaxed around the elves. Even so, I do hope that shell soon be given a reminder of her youthful ignorance of some matters soon so that I can squee over the impressive wisdom of older smexy male elves. Hehe.
Re the innuendo and that notable step past the kissing and joking suggestive line, I recall you mentioning in your author notes for chapter one that you have no intention of writing in any sex. Is this more of a grey area now?
*laughs* Re the smoking, even if Legolas hates the smoke, I dont think hed dare say: √Ö‚Äúno, your smoking grosses me out √Ę‚ā¨Ňď quit it!√ā¬Ě and risking losing Elaura. XD Even if her smoking doesnt gross out Legolas, dya think Thranduil and the court of Northern Mirkwood would approve of a future probable landed princess smoking up Thranduils throneroom? *is curious* Maybe theyll build her a special smoking room. Sorry, Im totally brain broken at the moment. ^^;
Still loving this story and looking very much forward to more!
In response to your questions, I had a very relaxing weekend, thank you. Uni started back this week, but I think Im very much √Ö‚Äúin a daze√ā¬Ě and √Ö‚Äúout of it√ā¬Ě. @_____@ And of course I dont mind that you were inspired by some of my suggestions! Not at all! In fact, Im extremely chuffed and delighted that you took them. *feels loved and appreciated* Hehe!
Hope you're having a great week!
Author's Response: I thought about leaving out the references and taking credit myself, but my conscience won out.
Check out this page: What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex By Tyellas (ansereg.com)
That site has a great quote you brought to mind when you mentioned Erestor\'s secret book:
\"A scholar of elvish languages, Helge Fauskanger (web site Ardalambion,) once said that \'Somewhere there may be a sealed envelope containing a piece of paper with the Elvish designations of the genitals, furtively set down by Tolkien behind locked doors.\' Somebody has found the envelope.\"
I think Elaura will have a rude awakening when the men and dwarves depart. She\'ll only have the hobbits, Gimli and Boromir anywhere close to her age/maturity level.
No, the sex restriction stays. There may actually be references to sex, but I\'ll probably just stick to the old fade-to-black, cut to the next scene where they are basking in the afterglow.
Glad you see Legolas as not wanting to rock the boat too early in the relationship. It\'s nice to think he might be just as worried about losing Elaura as she is about losing him.
Glad you are enjoying the story, glad you had a good weekend, glad you feel loved and appreciated!
My week is a little too busy for my tastes, but it\'s almost over.
*wide grin* Legolas the prima donna! Loved it! Especially enjoyed the description of Legolas carefully and methodically plucking at the start! xD
Oh, these are lovely, deft, and poignant! Thanks for posting.
Author's Response: Thanks!!
*laughs* This is really lovely. I enjoy your conciseness and the series of events here was so well presented *is in awe*. Your characterisation, so understated and candid, was very effective -- made me giggle. XD
Thanks for sharing. ^__^
Author's Response: Thanks. It\'s especially meaningful because I really enjoy your writing.
YAY! I inspired you! *is incredibly happy*
Elrond, renown loremaster -- the guide must be very credible and accurate. XD I want to know how Maxim found the book. Also, how did the characters come to ME. XD Also, what's going to happen to them?
A suggestion related to setting, perhaps make it a bit clearer that the characters are on Middle-earth?
Author's Response: Will do! I\'m just glad you gave the challange in the first place. It helped me see a new spin on comedy. *cheeseburger smile*