Intriguing, though at the last update, I would think that you are getting into more of a PG/PG-13 rating.
Oh well, that's me being nit-picky again.
I like the way you write the monologue from 2 points of view.
*smacks head* Now if only this was me and a certain somebody... *sigh*
Author's Response: Ahh, you'll just have to imagine!! Or do you want me to write in the names and send it to you?? *hint hint* Thanks for the review Meggy! ~Mel
*melts into little puddle* This was really good..but haven't I read it before? Anyway, I like the changes you've made with this fic, especially the chapter titles. Very nice! Keep writing!
Author's Response: I will keep writing, but I'm concentrating on revising my other BIG chapter fic. So once that one is fixed and updated, I'll work on this one again!! Thank you so much for reviewing and following my fic! ~Mel
Oh dear me. Very nice! But no more? *pouts*
However, my heart leaps at his ext (next) phrase.
The (Then) he voices the fact that he thinks I enjoyed it.
I am truly enjoying this! !NiRi
Author's Response: Don't worry, I plan on updating soon. I'm really happy you like it and thanks again for telling me my mistakes! ~Mel
Oh yes, this is very very good. Couple story issues.
1. These sentences have some grammar issues.
"She is fair; with her delicate features, slender figure and thigh length golden/blonde hair. Though, I rarely see her wearing it down with delicate braids pulled away from her face. "
golden/blonde - this is not the correct way to write this, it would be golden-blonde. However, blond IS gold, so this is redundant. Also, this would work best as a single sentence. Comma after hair, though I rarely see her...
2. "Perhaps she has control over the emotions she displays;" Um...is she doesn't seem to be affected, she is NOT displaying emotion! It would be better to say perhaps she has control over her emotions...Then it also works with what Legolas thinks after.
Well done! ~NiRi
Author's Response: oh, thanks for pointing out my mistakes! I am not that experienced with writing monologues; this was my first one! I'm glad you liked it! ~Mel
This is really sweet! And your POV is perfect and very well written. You have some canon errors though, and I would be remiss not to mention a couple of things.
1. Amiriel's POV opening line. Get rid of it! Do you ever see this in a book? No! We know it's from a lady's point of view, though she's yet to be identified. I'd also come up with another title for the chapter. May I suggest, What of Me?
2. The use of the term elleth. It is totally at your discretion, of course, but you will find many of the more popular LOTR authors are switching to simply: man, woman, girl, boy. This is all a translation and elleth simply means woman. We know they are elves and these are elven men and women. Tolkien himself calls Galadriel an elf woman.
1. This is after the War of the Ring, thus, this is no longer Mirkwood, but Eryn Lasgalen. It was renamed this after the fall of Dol Guldur before Legolas returned home.
2. He wouldn't be called a member of the Fellowship, but one of the Nine Walkers.
3. Well over six feet tall. Aragorn was the tallest member of the Fellowship and he was six feet six inches. The Numenoreans were actually taller than the elves.
I love it! I'm off to read more! ~NiRi
Author's Response: OMG, you'd think I'd remember about stuff like that. *smacks forehead* I honestly do not know what I was thinking. Thank you so much for pointing this stuff out! ~Mel
This looks like an interesting new direction for you: I like the way you develop her voice. Also, you should submit this story to the Lucky Number Challenge, since it has the exact word count.
Author's Response: Thank you. It was a first for me and I'm happy with how it turned out. I did submit it under that challenge; thanks for telling me about it! ~Mel
You wrote a monologue! Yay! I love how you describe Legolas' looks AND his character. You should write a 2nd part to this . . . *hint hint*
Author's Response: Seems I made you happy! I was thinking of writing a second part to it, but I wasn't sure what I wanted to happen. I wanted to leave the door open for possibilities. Also, I don't think of Legolas as someone who just goes up to an elleth he hasn't met before and something happens between them that same evening. But if I do get an idea, I will for sure post it! Love, Mel