aw such a sweet and sad story! a couple things i would say as concrit would be to keep working on "in-between" things; the story seemed to jump around alot. it needed some transition sentences. also, the word "okay" wouldn't have existed in lotr, so i would put "fine" or "alright" instead. other than those few things, though, it was very enjoyable!

Author's Response: Thanks. This was my first fan fic and why I did not edit it after I dunno :-/ I appreciate your critique.

Author's Response: Thanks. This was my first fan fic and why I did not edit it after I dunno :-/ I appreciate your critique.