This story has a lot of potential! I like the different characters, and how close they are, and how you seem to know each one.
The only issue that I can see possibly coming is that sice you know the characters so well, you just use them easily without proper introductions and such. The reader could easily get confused, since you just introduced them all at once. Could you maybe give a little background and give more depth about the characters for the reader to remember?
But I like it so far, and I will hopefully continue reading this! =)
Well done =)
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I will try to remember that.