This was a great chapter. Rhav's uncertainties are still there, even though she thoroughly enjoyed the experience. And Legolas' embarassment was adoring, as well as his concern for his lady. Thank you for your description of this Prince.
Author's Response: I just had to make him have this awkward moment. It is their first time and it is not perfect as some might make it out to be. Besides, think of all the practice they will need. *wink wink*
I love that you chose to use the word 'tits', especially from Leggy's POV. That's what males say. I like to be shocked and did not expect you to use that word. Some may not but I do. Also liked your description of his naked body and the way he moved. Frankly, I am a fan of men who...ah, can't last. It sort of shows their vulnerablity and lack of control in the the face of a woman they care about. Even though they love each other and have finally go it on, there is still continuing doubt and conflict. Some very good prose in this chapter too. Love scenes are extremely difficult to write despite what some people think, and a writers true skill is seen through them. It was hot and still sensuous.
Author's Response: I loved that I shocked you. In the past I have used much more mild descriptions but I would like to get a little more raw. It was a start, if only one word and... it felt good. As far as love scenes, I don't know how well I do with them but I love writing them. It is a natural and beautiful act and always between two people who love each other in my stories. But I would like to write something out of lust some time. Thanks again Duchess.
This may not be the most insightful review, but I just love the part about sticking each other with arrows. And the fact that you did not say shoot one another,give me a mental image of them fencing with arrows over something that has infuriated them both. Antien is such a character! I love the image i'm getting of him. Tell me if my perception is wronge, but he seems to take life with a grain of salt and has a wonderful sence of humor. He's strong and caring. A very ballanced zen kind of guy. He seems to sway in the wind rather than stand against it or be blown over by it. No wonder he is so adored by his mate.
Rhav is a blood thirsty one. She needs tha ballance that Legolas, and her friend Antien provide. She has adjusted well to her job. But is is obvious her heart lies in defending her royals and her people.
She has a heart but has a huge wall around it as if greatly wounded. There must be more, much more to her than meets the eye.
Author's Response: Glad you caught that arrow thing. If they were arguing, they would be in each other's faces, too close to shoot an arrow. And being they are an accurate shot, they would be quite deadly. I love your description of Antien. You are right on track about him and I am sorry I have not explained him more. If he were a tree, I'd imagine him like a palm tree. He is able to withstand any storm and come out looking like he wasn't even ruffled by it. He is a constant in Rhav's life, her jiminy cricket you might say. Maybe I will expand on him and Glandur in a seperate piece. They deserve a little spotlight time. As for Rhav, she has now tasted battle and smelled the blood of her enemy. It has awoken something inside of her that not even Legolas could have forseen. It will be the one thing that makes them different from each other. I just love your reviews. You always seem to inspire me in some way. Thank you for this.
Well, I think their passion for each other that results in fighting will mean a quite passionate encounter ahead of them in other ways!!
Author's Response: So far it has been the only way for them to release their tension. But that is all about to change.
Jeepers! Why did you have to leave it like that?!! You've done a terrific job building conflict both internal and external with both, but especially with Rhavaniel. At the begininng of the chapt. she still has some doubts about herself and thier relationship, and may be her place in the world, but it seems Leggy is sort of her rock. He sort of grounds her. I like heros that know they care for a girl and show it despite the heroines uncertainty. I thing women want to see that in a hero. Maybe Leggy knows what he wants cause he's older than she is... Very poetic way to confess his love. I do like how you've given her a job in the palace. she's not just sitting around doing needlepoint pining away for a man. Negotiator is an ingenious twist and ghastly uninteresting. totally not suited for her. It makes it seem more real too. That life there isn't all balls and fan fluttering and parties. I can't believe this story is 30,000 words long! Excellent work. Best chapter so far.
Author's Response: She may not know it or would try to deny it but Legolas really is her stability. They both know what they want but it comes easier to Legolas than her for the obvious reasons. I think all my female characters have held some kind of job. As you show in your own story, women did not just sit around and do nothing. I guess I picked negotiator because there would be those times that she was needed outside of Mirkwood. Plus she has a mouth which could come in useful, but you're right, she hates it. So glad you are still enjoying the story. Like yourself, I try to make it seem like real situations in a fantacy world. I always look forward to your reviews.
They still have to figure out how to get along more than fight, don't they. Well, I imagine if they sort things out and do come together there will be fireworks. ;) Still enjoying!
Author's Response: I think a reconciliation is just around the corner. Rhav is a tough cookie despite her father's wishes, but Legolas is her sweetheart.
It's hard for someone who has been pressed into a certain role to forget what it is they truly want. And for Legolas to insist she remain locked up, that is cruel indeed. But how can he understand? The roles of elleth and ellon always will remain. Rhavaniel is brave to swallow her pride and dreams and have gone on with her father's wishes. In this current day and age of self wishes, the small act of compromise is what truly saves the day, but what is now lost and forgotten. Wow, the last sentence came out too philosophical than intended.
I really enjoyed this chapter. :)
Author's Response: I think Legolas is just now realizing that there is more than friendship and desire for Rhav. He's falling in love and only wants to protect her, forgetting the fact that she can manage quite well on her own. She senses this and it's just a reminder of how the males want to suppress the females, not intensionally but out of love. It's a very fine line. She is also discovering something about herself. She is a born warrior and craves the kill. This new revelation is going to fuel her need to fight and cause havoc in the future. But for now she's doing what she thinks is right and putting aside her own wants. Thanks again for reading and the kind review.
Seems they are destined to be with each other. And I love the character of Antien. Hope to see more of him in the future.
Author's Response: Thanks for this. I have never included slash in any of my stories and was worried about how my het readers would feel, which is why I only mention it in passing. But as for this tale, I think it is best I concentrate mainly on him being Rhav's best friend. He will have more scenes in the future though.
This was a great chapter and I think perhaps the best written so far, although, you do have a consistant voice which makes your writing a smooth read. Really helped to move the story forward. I like how you've given them a chance to grow and change and bond and just didn't throw them together like one day they hated each other and the next they were passionately in love. It makes it realistic. This probably has a lot to do with your excellent pacing.
Author's Response: I never was one for a fairytale romance. Like you said, F#*$ Prince Charming. Rhav can take care of herself. Legolas will have his hands full. Nothing comes easy and neither will this relationship. Thank you for another uplifting review. I feel you are very honest and will tell me if I begin to falter in any way. Can't wait to get back home so I can concentrate on catching up with your story too.
I enjoyed the chapter despite its short length. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Nice to meet you Eldarin Princess. I hope you enjoy this tale. Chapters will not always be this short and knowing my history, there will be plenty more.
i can see now why you believe these two are made for each other. their chemisty is really coming alive.
Author's Response: I appreciate it. My little Rhav is starting to grow up and Legolas too. My how fast they grow. hehe
nothing like a good old fashion tradgedy to bring people together. They have that in common too now besides their birthdays. You have a natural sense of pace and time. You're able to sum up months or years in just a few sentences. Excellent job.
Author's Response: I'm glad you think so. I've been criticized in the past for lack of time line. I always try to establish that and sometimes, if you aren't paying attention it could be missed. I never did like to spend a lot of time describing the passing of time. Takes too long. lol
I think you have an excellent sense of pacing. something i'm very envious of. Great cliff hanger and I'm excited to see the possible development of a sub plot! I love that she calls him by his last name! I'm normally not a huge fan of author intrusion, but if we look at this from the point of story telling and with in the scope of the story (especially since Tolkien was essentially retelling and "translating" the orginial stories) I actually find that it is not inappropriate at all. And it's really so inconsequential it would not deter me from reading on!! How in gods name do you kick these out so fast?!!
Author's Response: Wow! Thanks Duchess. You know, I wasn't sure about her name for him. I was afraid it might seem a little to juvenille as an author. But Rhav is sassy. She can't stand him and to call him by his proper name just wasn't enough sometimes. I envisioned her calling him something demeaning to his royal standing but not degrating. And I hate the Greenleaf thing. But I know Thranduilion, though not a last name, was not a proper way to refer to a Prince either. I'm glad you think it works.
I love this story and can't wait for the next chapters..
Author's Response: Hello Ninarika. I see you are new to the site and say welcome. I am very glad you are enjoying the story. Thank you so much for reading and even more for reviewing. I hope to keep you interested.
Well I had to take time these past two days and read all eight chapters. I have been fairly busy these past two weeks. Many things happening including to false labors from my son on his second child. (Geez!) But anyways I am living this story too, like all the others. I like this *Love hate*, but only this time it started out *Hate love* relationship. Ah, the little games elfling's play. Foreplay? Well it all proved in the end ( or not) that they really had a buried hot's for each other. If they had not been interrupted this last chapter, they would have been burned to a love cinder. Who knows where they may have gone. (yeah right) But at least they did not kill each other before they even got to explore each other. Maybe very soon. But I got kind of an idea, where you where going with the part where the mothers were going on a short trip. To bad if it turns out to be a tragedy. I hope not. Anyways. Next chp please.
Author's Response: Hello my dear regaliaria. It is good to see you back here. I have missed your reviews. I am such a sucker for the love/hate thing and this is a steamy bumpy hell of a ride these two will go on. I do throw in a little bit of the original works into this so your perception may be right. But it is another turning point. Love and life are not easy. My best to your family, especially that new bundle of joy.
Those two need to be locked up in a room somewhere. Where's Elrohir when you need him? ;-) But seriously, they're young, and they have a lot of growing to do. It's going to be a bumpy ride for them, that's for certain. I love your secondary characters as well.
Another wonderful update, dear!
Author's Response: Thanks Mel. Completely agree about Elrohir. He is the key master *hehe* But I'm afraid at this point, Leg and Rhav might kill each other if left unsupervised.