Not to be too critical, but I suggest using more detail in describing the scene, like explaining what Legolas' new room looks like. And there are many holes in this story, like how Thranduil went from cold and abusive to loving, and putting Legolas up to adoption. This is a good plot, and I like the premises, you just need to connect the lines with setting, description, and use of emotions.
Try to make the characters' emotions reach out to the readers. make them feel the emotions as if it were from their own heart.
I hope i'm making sense to you.
Mmm...this seems way too casual and colloquial for a Tolkien story sorry. You seem to have rather large gaps in your story and if you can't spell, learn to!
Learn some elvish, sindarin mostly if you're going to write fanfiction.
Have traditional or made up names, I hardly think Rebeka is an elvish name.
Do no use colloquial language, such as: "Don't" or "Ass" it ruins the flow of the story completely.
I know this is your first but please let someone else read over before you post it...