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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sequel to Stuffed Glorfindel. Written in response to tuxedo_elf's challenge on LiveJournal: "Glorfindel the cannibalistic taxidermist repents and goes veggie.". Rated for cannibalism and cruel(?) treatment of Glorfindel.
Day 01
Have been resurrected. Have been allowed back in Imladris on condition I become vegetarian. Not pleased! Have been placed in irritatingly high walled garden at back of Rivendell. It is used for archery training. Am to sleep in archery shed with two bows and many arrows and remain confined in garden until have both finished practical course in vegetarianism (do not know how long this is) and have repented and vowed never again to eat meat. Will be banished under pain of death if break my vow. Not pleased at all!

Day 02
Have stern supervisor named Golraldir who is to teach me to cook vegetarian food.

Day 03
Have eaten Golraldir with the plum sauce and steamed broccoli he made for me.

Day 04
Elrond not pleased. Golraldir was apparently his chief advisor. Erestor should be pleased with automatic promotion. Perhaps will get Erestor as next supervisor.

Day 05
Boo! Erestor is new supervisor indeed, but he will not make contact with me. He threw a vegetarian recipe book over the wall onto the shed this morning (woke me up). It contained a note: Use this. Eat Lindir or Melpomaen when you come out and I WILL kill you. Did not know Melpomaen had been resurrected. Maybe will have better luck eating him this time. Lindir too, the little s**t! Must catch raven on wall.

Day 06
Boiled brown lentils today. Drained lentils, mashed them up, and shaped them into a liver. Did not taste the same. Was ill. Made Erestor target from straw and shot him eighty-eight times. Shot at raven. Missed.

Day 07
More lentils today. Was sick again. Lettuces in nicest vomit patch looking sick too. No raven. Will not eat lettuces.

Day 08
Snails taste much better than beetroot. Forgot to dry saucepan before adding oil. Got burnt. Ate sixteen snails with onions and butter (am not even allowed butter!). Raven back. Dodged arrow.

Day 09
Out of snails. Tried slugs. Taste even better with chilli. Raven dodged arrow again.

Day 10
Out of slugs. Did not eat. Raven dodged arrow again - very skilled raven. Trained, perhaps? Threw recipe book after arrow. Raven dodged that too. Hungry.

Day 11
Caught raven. Yay! Ate raven with cannelloni beans and stewed tomatoes. Shot Erestor model ninety-three times.

Day 12
Woke up to rain... inside the shed. Roof gone. Not pleased at all! Did not eat. No book anyway. Shot Erestor model one hundred and forty-three times... in groin region. Cold and wet. Also angry. Still hungry.

Day 13
Still raining. Still no roof. Still cold and wet. Still hungry. Book woke me at dawn - it hit me on the head. Hate Erestor's aim. Dropped frying pan on foot. Set tea cloth on fire. Ate cabbage. Hate cabbage. Liked beetle in it. Crunchy. Foot hurts.

Day 14
Still raining. Hate rain. Still no roof. Still cold and wet. Still hungry. Feel abused. Foot still hurts. Ate more cabbage in hope of finding another beetle. No beetle. Disappointed.

Day 15
Same as yesterday. Really hate rain. Hate Erestor too.

Day 16
Found slug. Ate slug. Rain stopped - yay!

Day 17
Cat on wall. Hate taste of cat-meat, but am hungry. Shouted: "Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty..." Cat no longer on wall. Cat in stomach. A little happy.

Day 18
Bed gone. Not pleased at all. Wonder if did something wrong. Hungry.

Day 19
Still hungry. Baked pumpkin pie. Ate pumpkin pie. Threw up. Lettuces now orange.

Day 20
Floor is so hard. Why is bed gone? Ate peanut butter sandwich. Gross.

Day 21
Rain again. Erestor is a callous sadist. Roof gone, bed gone. Ate radish. Was violently sick. Radishes almost as bad as orcs.

Day 22
Pea soup okay. Still raining. Still cold and wet.

Day 23
Potato and leek soup okay too. Nasty bowel action, though. Lettuces look unspeakable.

Day 24
Cornmeal. Yuck. Rain stopped - yay!

Day 25
Passed over lettuce recipes. Ate cauliflower chilli bake with fava beans. Okay.

Day 26
Zucchinis stuffed with roast vegetables. Am good at roasts so very easy. Tasted okay. Roof and bed still gone. Were they needed elsewhere, perhaps? Hope Imladris okay.

Day 27
Like seaweed with sesame and vinegar. Good - very good. Should try harvesting seaweed in Gulf of Lune when get out... if get out. Hate this place.

Day 28
Boysenberry soy ice cream is excellent. Will try more desserts.

Day 29
Sago pudding good too. Maybe could live on desserts?

Day 30
Rain again. Tried almond jelly. Thought thickener came from animals, but book says comes from seaweed. Plants useful sometimes. Wish plant canopy would replace absent roof. Cold and wet.

Day 31
More rain. Rice and coconut pudding. Very good.

Day 32
Still raining. Wonder how long will be without roof and bed. Not hungry. Feel down.

Day 33
Still raining. Not hungry, but tried passing snail anyway. Did not taste nice. Spat it out. Tired. Lettuces look better. Still feel down.

Day 34
More rain. Ate half of apple. Was not hungry for other half.

Day 35
So tired. So bored. Not hungry.

Day 36
Still not hungry.

Day 37
Still not hungry.

Day 38
Still not hungry.

Day 39
Still not hungry. Have lost weight. Why is bed still gone?

Day 40
Still not hungry.

Day 41
Stopped raining. So tired.

Day 42
Elrond in shed with me. He is fatter than before that elfling shot me and staved in my head. Made me drink sweet tasting liquid. Told me to eat. Then he left. Bed and roof back. Good. Have discovered reason for feeling down - am lonely.

Day 43
Slept. Still not hungry. Want to get out of here. Will try good behaviour.

Day 44
Ate a pea.

Day 45
Hedgehog on wall. Why is there a hedgehog on the wall? Cannot understand it. Too tired to catch and pluck it. Too small a hedgehog to bother, anyway. Left it. Ate borlotti bean stew instead. Okay.

Day 46
Bored. Hedgehog still on wall. Ate stir-fry vegetables. Bland.

Day 47
Hedgehog still there. Looks happy despite odd habitat. Ate potato and lentil bake.

Day 48
Ate pumpkin and potato pudding. Tasted good! Waved at hedgehog. Am sure it smiled. Friendly hedgehog. Did not know hedgehogs could be friendly. Am beginning to understand why people keep animal companions... aside from emergency food supply.

Day 49
Hedgehog gone. Ate pear and soy pudding. Shot Erestor forty times in each eye.

Day 50
New cat on wall. Struck me that no non-flying animals should be able to scale that wall on their own. It is too high. So what is it with hedgehog and cat? Ate vegetable curry.

Day 51
Cat still on wall. It meowed at me. Ate chilli con carne.

Day 52
Woke up to find cat in bed, kneading my chest. Cat claws are sharp. Breath stinks too. Teeth too sharp. What if it eats me? Do not like cats. Threw cat over wall. Am sure Erestor is responsible for it. Ate porridge.

Day 53
No cat on wall. Good. Vanilla soy ice cream. Yum.

Day 54
Nothing on wall. Good. Ate lentil... something. Whatever. It tasted good.

Day 55
Elfling on wall... what the...? It is Lindir. Why is Lindir on the wall? Why has Erestor put him there? Ate mushroom and eggplant bake. Lindir read the laws of Imladris to me. Murder has been brought forward since I last read it. Wonder if I had anything to do with that change.

Day 56
Lindir on wall again. He ate a liver and egg sandwich and threw me another one. Sly elfling. Threw sandwich over the wall. Liver looked suspiciously like chopped elf liver. Ate asparagus on toast with oil. Okay.

Day 57
Lindir in garden. IN garden! He gave me a piece of butterscotch. According to the recipe book, butterscotch is a no-no. It has butter and cream in it. Threw it over the wall. He gave me a peanut butter and jam sandwich without butter and a peanut butter and banana and honey sandwich without butter. Ate both. Very good.

Day 58
Lindir in garden again. Asked me what I thought of vegetarianism. I said it was wonderful as want to get out. He asked me again what I thought of vegetarianism and asked me to be truthful. I said it was okay and that I would probably stick to a vegetarianism vow. He is a smart child.

Day 59
Lindir asked for lesson in archery. Gave it to him in spite of intimate knowledge of his good shooting skills. He gave me a tofu pumpkin pie afterwards. Ate pie. Very yummy! He ate a meat pie. Oddly enough, quite like Lindir. He is friendly. Do wonder why Erestor let him in here with me. Odd uncle, if you ask me. Nice to feel trusted, though.

Day 60
Erestor finally came today. So did Lindir. And Elrond. And Golraldir (that was quick!). Made vegetarianism vow. Do mean it. Vegetables and fruit and grains not so bad. Quite delicious, some of them. Elves and animals sometimes better for things other than eating. Like companionship. Orcs perhaps exempt, but orcs taste far worse than radishes. Will stick to vow for now. Feel good.
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