I'm with Melda - definitely more descriptions and a more easy-to-read layout would benefit this tale. I like the concept definitely but it's just a little hard to read. ~ Iri
Author's Response: Sorry I'm still new at this
Oh no, don't be sorry! Like I said your concept is great, just needs a few structure and grammer pick ups to make it easier to read! Otherwise it's great. We are all new at this at some point and I found that advice from fellow authors and readers helped me along the way! My tales used to be a right mess don't worry! With practice it'll become easier! Keep going! ~ Iri
Author's Response: Aww so sweet. But chapter nine is gonna be great
There are so many brilliant phrases and word-turns in this chapter it's hard to identify them all. I love Gimli's brief slide into immaturity with the beard tails in his mouth. I also do especially like 'They had things to do, places to go, Pippin to see'. And possibly my fav quote of this chapter is again Gimli's : 'Yes, yes, everyone is very well pleased with everyone else...'. Hmmm maybe it's just Gimli who made the first half of this shine? As for the little tidbit at the end of the chapter, this is gorgeous, a moment of realization for Elladan which is very well handled. Amazing work! ~ Iri
Author's Response: Thank you, Irial. Gimli always 'speaks' to me- and I just find him such an intruiging and warm character - that habit he has of sucking the ends of his beard shows in times of extreme anxiety. I'm pleased you like the Elladan bit- as you get trhough Sons you'll see why this I wrote this.
Oh how very clever of Legolas. And how sweet too. A beautiful intervention! ~ Iri
Author's Response: Is that the bit where he distracts Gimli and reminds him Aragorn is who they follow? Again, all of this was just there waiting to be put down- I find the best bits are when the action is 'uncovered' - it sort of writes itself. These first chapters all wrote themselves and took little time- it's later that I slowed down - not that this will affect you! I did keep folks waiting sometimes. Again, thank you for letting em know you are enjoying this Iri
I've only just started reading this, I've been absent for a while but it's promising to be one of your signature epic adventures with a story line to make the rest of us authors green with envy and characters that we will no doubt fall in love with! very exciting to read some new works from you L8Bleumr! ~ Iri
Author's Response: Iri, so nice to see you again. Hope all is well with you. You'll have a little catching up to do with this one, but I'm posting a little slower. I have a beta who is a huge help to me. This story is a little different for me, since romance is not the main plot. I'm a little out of my comfort zone and have been struggling a bit, but I'm definitely learning something from all of this. It's nice to have you back and I hope you'll enjoy and keep reading.